mein yahan hoon mein yahan hoon yahan hoon yahan….

Haan ji i have shamelessly stolen the song lyrics of the movie veer-zara for the title of this post.I was mulling for the last 10mins to insert some meaningful title but as all of you know i rarely put a title justifying my post because i often veer off from one context to another without mentioning.So chill,i can write a lot of things what has been flooding in the last one month including my job my writing things and my personal life.

But i donot want to bore myself really writing again and again the same stuff.And even now i m nt sure what i m goin to write.You know,when you b come sure of something that surity b comes your tool of boredom really.why to b sure of anything when life itself is nt warranted doesnt it make any sense? no tell me buddies really.

Just a few minutes ago my landlord personally informed me that there would b no water supply till 2am and rite now its 10;45,thank god i have already taken my night bath.And while telling me about that he mentioned me that b coz of big worms and some grubbiness inside the water tank,he had to clean the water tank,thank god he thought of immaculating the tank.

And very soon things would b different for me.i dnt mean i would b goin to office at 2am and would b slogging the door at 12 pm, i mean i would b living with my parents for a long time after a gap of almost 12 years.After leaving my home this is the first time so as soon as they discover my strange habits of sleeping bathing reading and all i guess i would try to settle all these for our benefits.

And these days i have been orkutting and i have found the someone i was searching for the last 4 years.you know, in the last 4 years i have made 4 accounts, deleted 3, wait,i dnt mean, i was afraid or i was nt comfortable there, to me such networking sites have the same importance what a saree would b for Rakhi Sawant really man,as far as my contacts are concerned i m very much limited,without being there im in touch with all my close buddies and girl friends,but yes there was someone,whom i was searching when ever i made my account, i was like-”kahi to hogi..usko pata to hoga about orkut…aur agar join karegi to sure she will search me” but all the time i got utterly dissapointed but recently when i lost all hopes of this world,the angel of my heydays arrived without me searching her,this is the beauty you know set the bird free.I know,this is nt a fair thing to write at this stage of life but chill man,nor its a crime also to let the feelings spread over this blog,after all i m an immature guy.

Aur abhi abhi mein ne jukebox pe started the song baazigar o baazigar,you see the still, me and she prancing around the trees.I m in the black half pant and she wore a skirt and a top which slides through her smooth shoulder and a hat which can fall off at every seconds.She giggles hitting my cheeks by her nails,oye kahi scratch ho gaya to? And i pull her shabby pony tail and an excitement to lay my head on her….? bhai kuch to sharam karo iss blog ko achhe achhe ghar ki bahu betiyan bhi read karti hain…and for the sake of “samazik maryada” i m truly handicapped to unravel this scene further.

Smoking is an injurious thing we all know since we arrived here but a nut like me has no care for such warnings,despite having some recent problems i m still doing it and if i really wish to have a family and gool matool kids i guess then i need to slow down the pace of smoking.what i m trying these days..

If by accident you got a chance to read my last post,then most of you have smelled that i tried to wash my hands in the writing field.But being a tremendously horrrible writer of course it was nt easy for me to get some good clients,but in the end i got some really good projects and i m washing my both hands with them.Though it demands a lot of time which i dnt have being lazy you know,but still the experience of doing something new and the thing you always wanted i guess truly gave me a lot of peace and satisfaction.

Ruko yaar,coke to peelon,yes, so after drinking the coke,i m back.And rite now i m seeing the simplicity of late night moon through the window,and i wish to fling myself around there in the blue of sky where me and Sohniye would sit and could sip a steamming cup of coffee.But oye,Sohniye to abhi so rahi hogi?? I mean, its really awesome to see this divine beauty of late night moon.When the stark clean sky fills the empty brazen earth by that soft white rays through moon which makes you so crazy that you b come ready to miss drinking coke:):)

Mujhe abhi aur likh ne ka mann kar raha hai.and the packet of lays lying on the bed looking at me like a cat wanting to snatch a bottle of milk from a kid.and i dnt wish to b that kid.so i have started crunching lays.

i m watching a movie very old one, name is “romance” remember poonam dhillon and kumar gaurav starter.tum log sooo jaooo abb mein chala to watch that movie.

and i will come back to write another post here soon.

Keep reading me…..

Someone is serious

Please do it! I got stuck,that moment,my inner voice shaken my mind,you know i got shuddering,like the whole world attacked on Bhutan including Taliban and i was like-Chill,this is just a statement, why i m so concerned about such plain phrase like “please do it”.But then this is the beauty of being alone when you talk with your own self.And i do this often.Listening myself.

Some time back i was reading a Bestseller,though during the last 4-5 years i have nt been frequent with books.Though i love reading a lot anything…from an autobiography to a classic Mario Puzo to anything.I just enjoy.I m nt kind of who would read and then would love to make plans to follow those heavy words,ferocious assumptions, for me those stuff makes me what i donot want to b,so i just read it.Henceforth,while reading that, i guess after ending the two chapters in a row, i stretched my left arm for a bislery bottle to bottle my mind what was sounding quite heavy due to the kind of stuff the author had stuffed in those first two chapters.I guess some of you have been through such rocky mental state,when you study something, and you dont undertsand, you know how heavy you feel,and who knows better than me.i tell you no one knows.Those digital electronics! Poor IQ sucks man.

But now the crux of the climax, as i have mentioned above,i dnt get affected by what i read in the books.So nothing shattered me in the first two chapters, except that simple phrase-”please do it”.Then trust me,i wanted to smash a coconut on Author’s head, i wished, he would b alive in front me that moment for leaving me in such a puzzled situation.But then some wishes remain a wish only.You never fulfil it, like i missed proposing my 9th standard lady class teacher.

The author reached to “please do it” after inserting enough examples about great folks,how someone without being much qualified wrote an all time great bestseller(charles dickens) how kinght brothers started their mission from no where and many such examples you know what give you peace of mind.Doing the stuff you enjoy and then making enough money to lead a happy of course married life forever.

So what that statement said-Dont look left right,dont get fused from advices.Now point to b noted-i read that book 4 years back.may b that quote has some rocking, brilliant meanings may b it said something what i dint fathom,i know,may b i wont b able to fathom ever,may b my maid Anju Ji(maid ko bhi respect karo) would b able to tell me 100 more hidden sincere things about “please do it” what i seriously dislike to know.But what i understood and thought best for me is to crunch the small small bacterias running inside my mind,unfortunately only i m responsible for allowing them to flourish and to stop me whenver i wish to do something offbeat,so by crunching those worms of my mind, in the last 3-4 years….God it took so long…slow guy! I have learnt to follow what my “heart” says not mind.Thanks to this realisation.

My heart says-Anupam you wanna sit around split AC no office no Boss no deadlines, no pressure.You wanna b happy earning a little but with peace of mind.You wanna b happy “writing” articles books and making paltry income….right Anupam? And i say to my heart yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..i want.Then heart says- but dude you have everything just pep up your zest,throw the shackles of laziness, follow what i say,burn the years old wooden sticks of confusion,and just follow what i say.And heart knows what i want.

Enough serious man! Shit. Light is gone….but my heart says write more post is incomplete buddy….hey heart…dnt b so smart bring light please ya i want to write.Following you heart…dnt worry…!

PS: have a great 40th marriage anniversary to both of you.papa n mummy!

On the juke box:abb kya sikayat karen hum,kis ko kahe bewafa…..saanso ka kya hai pata:)

coke nahi hai baba

Writing something deliberate with grave effort is not in my character.I tried my utter best to doodle something here,serious,thought provoking,mind-boggling,you know things which can b copied and pasted from internet giant google search engine.But for a guy like me even searching those serious topic would b as boring as hearing Priety zinta’s theory on the basics of Cricket.Now you can fathom what a pathetic searcher i m,isnt it? People tell me things like- some creativity man,your blog looks directionless,astray,off the track, and as i was striving lighting my gold flake,i kept the phone on the table,lighted my fag,all these took me around some seconds,and the female friend busy barking about all.Only after telling her about that i wasnt hearing her,she came to know about my other sober trait of not listening calls properly.Stupidity has no limits.

And now i m back to keep up the promise intact by writing here may nt b serious,may nt b something which can make some of you after reading-” this guy is really serious enough to make nana patekar a humorous king”.Or can raise up the eyebrows of the readers like a growling kitten after watching a bunch of rabbies.Even i donot wish that my readers would get in such a serious state after reading this.So,chill the way i m writing,the way i have been trying to interpolate my life here,may b in a directionless way.O Anupam the scalar.

The effect of watching numerous sparkling cricket matches, made me so confused that i even could nt understand whether i m seeing a cricket match or just gazing on something colourful, grossly showy, leaving me more puzzled than once i was in front of a ticket collector in the mithila express while no money in my pocket nothing except a packet of Bidi.Poor from a long time.God,why do you throw me in those not so pleasing circumstances? Or is it just me putting myself there? Whatever,i mean, despite being an ardent cricket watcher, i m not relishing these IPL matches.The beauty of cricket is gone only the added glamour is alive now,that too when you hit sixes fours,scalp a wicket, the TV camera zooms on raunchy figures,gals throwing smiles at the rate faster than lee’s yorker,zinta mourns,shouts,hugs,more frequently than she ever did in her entire film career.Money man money.Let me now close the door of whining about all these.

On the another side of my life,i have been drinking coke more than a glass of water.Its like,breakfast,ok have a coke! Lunch,lets drink another! Oh, you know Alvika,these days the delhi water supply people have been so dirty,with the big tank of water they supply cockroaches too,and last year summer i consumed two such worms, and bcoz of that,you know,i have been behaving a bit erratic even on my blog,and in real life too,but now i wish to stop taking those worms by replacing it with Coke.Alvika-oh really Anupam,never knew,even i was thinking how on earth a guy like you could behave like a 50 years old unemployed man with two wives running around with their hands occupied with knives as sharp as tipu sultan’s sword and a group of kids half naked scraping his matured hair fully white with the urge of you-are-a-shit-papa! God. You know now what i mean.And b coz this during high summer season when a normal people would love to drink cold water.I m busy looking for pills to calm down my throat.

And about my life,you know something happened,and i m thanking all of you for showing so much concern and wishes.i dont know when i will do the favour by inviting all of you.but i promise you that i will remember all of you.you people have really a big heart man,not the kind of-hum to wo praaani hain ki bheekhari ke katore se bhi paise nikal sakte hain,comment kya karenge, type.and my blog will remain same,with same stupidity,brashness,and my confused humor.And i m planning a few new things for that may b i need to fly over some other city.of course not sure.depends on the circumstances and a bit of luck too.see,what happens.

Going home is also a task now.its been sometime and despite all the stuff around me looks perfectly shiny,i guess something is missing from the list.that is parents,home,ghar ka tv,the greenish balcony,rubber plants with heights 3 times of mine, drawing room where everything appears as placed properly as a model ready to give a snapshot but with no smile on her face.got it? so in the days to come i would try to snatch some time for that too.

anyway enough bukbuk from me,i m goin to wrap up this post.more willl come after getting married:) trust me when i say i m getting married. one of you now may start dreaming all you know what.but for the sake of frienship….meri english kaaafi weak hai…anyways…i would like to declare that i m not an astrologer man.so let the buzz stop here.i m again feeling thirsty lets check where is coke.

that fat spunky tot

Long time back perhaps in the late eighties a kid with the texture of an ellipse ran across the 22 yards to complete his maiden half century.After,losing his front teeth just on the same ball.The hard cricket ball nudges the handle of the bat,directly hits the lips,blood started running down throw the neck,chin.Friends came around him, frightened,afraid(agar bunty ki mummy ko pata chal gaya to sab ki watt lag jayegi..), shocked,in the middle of these horrible pictures, that guy completes his run,reached non-striker end,looks on the ball, ball is already out side the boundary line(chhota boundary thaa yaar).And he yells- we won yaar…i made my first 50…blood gaya doctor ke pass!! Come on,i m nt saying you folks now should put down your specs,girls must hand over their sari clad pics what they keep for marriage purposes to me,and some married ones fumbles casually:”bade aaye ho”.For all of you,while hitting the post in the starting i was clueless,empty headed and most importantly i m very close now to take some life time decision and as all of you know my trademark is being confused, then this incident spinned inside my mind and i wrote the above.

There are incidents in life happen with you,when you least expect it,there are incidents leave you flummoxed like a monkey watching Femina miss India beauty awards.There are incidents which are quite expected as you grow up.You kind of b come a serious guy suddenly,you mug terribly boring inorganic chemistry notes to pass the chemistry paper in +2.You kind of sharp who can if at his normal best then can shorten the 9 steps of any integration just within 4.You are the type who can flip through any dictionary ceaselessly for 6-7 hours.You give a damn to anyone,you belong to the group of guys who have mostly socked the word success after struggle.You are the master of your own world.Chill yaar.

Over the years,trust me there are innumerable incidents like the above happened with me and if by mistake or by some fluke if i would b able to script a book surely i will try to seize all those unforgettable sweet,sour,some shockingly funny moments.

And yes as i have written somewhere in the above paragraph,i m goin to take some serious step regarding personal life.I know i m a kind of-abhi? 1 year aur yaar..But its already late….and i need to keep up the promise i made to someone long time back.I know i m a promise breaker,insensitive,without heart,very cheap Anu is etc etc.And for some-down to earth,humble,lazy,polite…too much..and all these points dont make much sense i know,b coz some people like you even when the world around you finds totally unfit.Some people talk to you just to keep alive the relationship.Some people think,i m nt a good guy at all to get maithil brahmin girl.Some people think i dnt have the courage to b what i say i want to b.somepeople who think i m nt a practical enough,some people think i would forget all these after writing the post.Some people who think i dnt know what i want to b.For all chill man…i have found my friend.

i dnt expect all of you should understand what i write and why i write really.Thanks to you my friend.Thanks to parents.

I m a lucky guy since childhood.Luck has been my forte and i guess it will b in future too.I know this post is a real hotch potch.typical me.May b i wont b able to achieve things like others,may b my dreams are completely haywire for the world,but i m happy.may b i wont b able to ride on benze but i m happy man!

Thanks to my friend. A freind(spelling mistake yaar) who gives me courage and power to fight out with the world nt by her external charm,and nt by her postgraduate degree nt by her love,but by being who she is.

a friend who deserves respect more than love.i know people are reading this.since its been 2 years almost i have been writing this blog of course she being the central reason that i started writing my blog again after deleting 2 previous blogs.she deserves a party from me very soon! hope she wont bite me:)

buss aise hi socha kuch likh daalo:)

plz dnt take seriously i m about to take my cab written this post very speedily so pardon me for all the mistakes i have made above!

never again…

It had been goin on for years
The arguments and the abuse
I just tried to live up with it
B coz you had always an excuse

You never smacked me through your words
Actually you didnt need to do that
The words that came out from your mouth
Was worse than any abuse

I always thought you would b better one day
That your maturity level would never sink
Its indeed funny how a few choice words
Did more than make me laugh

It took me a long long time
I guess i was in denial since from the dawn
I could never do or say anything
As i was always on trial

But now finally finally i had enough
I couldnt take anymore
I had to get out
My self esteem needed restored

I feel better now really
Even though my head is screwed up
But eventually may b
I will learn to say…NEVER AGAIN…

Topic nahi hai dada..help karo…

After reading the title,some of you may b pondering over me and murmuring-Stupid topic nahi to likh ta kyon hai?
One of you are hitting the keyboard and letting the smile to jump onto the screen and then dispatch it through the comments.What a sweet way to emanate the feelings.Comments! Thank God…hey seriously i got the topic now! Fantastic…Comments!
****************************
Comments, this very word has power of Hitler,innocence of lambs(especially my comments,i swear on my writing dreams).Getting serious now,see,in my opinion,if you have a desire of Vidya Balan to kill the opponents around her by exposing to grab the forthcoming best actress award by holding a statue.If you have that desire…one can cross limits to get comments on his/her blogs.But as far as my blogging experience says,i havent found anyone with this kind of shallow interest in comments(i m excluding my self).Nice world.Still so many beautiful hearts around me.Thank God!

Now i m diving deep into this matter….i donot know swimming.Gaon walon bacha lena….The ground cause of blogging is someone wants to say something,anything…may b how to get over from serious bomb attacks to express his/her feelings through amazingly hearttakingly “poems” by keeping the person in “dark”.To launch a new product,it could b anything.For me its just fun.nothing.I m excluding 4-5 posts of mine.Yaaar that i wrote when 3 mike tysons sized men were fighting over one jockey.so pardon me.

As far as this blog is concerned,apart from 3-4 comments,most of the times,i have had the privilege of getting comments as sweet as Juhi’s smile.what i never knew that one day i would b getting this genus of response.This is the biggest surprise of my life time.Not even when i received that call letter with a rank as high as Effiel tower.Not when my hod banned to write the semester paper.Nothing was more shocking than reading comments on my blog.Chill,leave this part to b discussed in the next blogging meeting which is goin to b held on 11th may at Muzaffarpur.Home town hai yaar to meeting kahan karonga…..jakarta mein?

“And then some girl’s blog”! Maa kasamm….a yash chopra flick with a cracking Priety and Shah rukh plus everything can b flop…but sir….if a girl is blogging it means trillion times more popular…..hey flow nahi aa raha hai….koi baat hai….khoye khoye se lag raha hoon.Even i m responsible for that…chill…..tried so many ways to stop reading those blogs….but every time….its like…
I Admit some of them are writing exceptionally well….writing topics which can even wake up a guy like me to think about the society.Its commendable…no doubt.Such guts.Panning the community,yet able to mesmerize the same folks.Some talent man!Socking blogs with topics as burning as a newly married girl away from her hubby! So..such blogs get torrented by guys like me and of course better than me too.I m nt that much good yaar.

And then real trendy arguments happen across the internet globe.Folks writing comments with different names….one of them trying to impress the Author so no matter how stupid the post….we have to praise…i m also among them…some one got serious …after witnessing all these and jumps over from wasteland to that blog.And start showering gyan after gyan…And then me like-areee itna serious post thaa kya?? Ek baar fir se read kar ta hoon!Someone changed his gender even from a guy he b comes a girl…and then writing comments….aree yaar…gender kyon change kar ta hai.
Whatever,comment could b venomous, written without goin through the post.if its nt insulting the person as a whole.It should nt create any prob for anyone.One can agree and disagree its all matter of choice opinion,isnt it?Comments should nt b taken very seriously at all.If its good,great…if nt then click on the knife button….and ghoosa dooo….

downright scarcity of time….i m goin….please donot take anything written here personally….agar lena hai to le lo mera kya jayega….!!!

sunday evening

I m starting this post,reason is, I m nt feeling sleepy.I m just goin to type out stuff about my evening.I m hoping to fall asleep while writing this post on the keyboard it self.I m sure some of you too may fall asleep while reading this.

This evening,B came to my room,when i was busy thinking about Frieda Pinto’s nose hair.He had to go for shopping.He asked me to accompany him.An official friend.He promised to pay for my pizza if i went with him.And it took nearly 4 seconds to get ready.

So we went to Om Book store At the PVR saket.Its a nice shiny bookstore with a lot of books.Middle aged women in saris,kurtas, tight jeans,sit around on the stools and poring over the books,discussing paths to bring back the fire,lost love in their married lives.Small tots noisily running around them,whipping sari’s pallu,pulling pony tails,kids cant do more.Their grumpy mothers warning them to shut up else they can burn their toys.Young girls around fiction books.Reality bites.Fiction ….(dada kya likhon)! I guess,most people found in a book store are fat.Sitting and reading books on weight reduction most probably.I picked up “Thank you jeeves” by P.G. wodehouse(bahut bada fan hoon main wood Ji ka) and went to the billing counter.

The billing girl looked at the centre of my tee shirt,where she found-” Life rocks,when you buy me” and gave me a smile.I guess she liked my decent choice in clothes.And as i went away,she smiled back again at me.I m feeling it still.It wasnt the official kinda smile every customer gets,i mull she liked me in a very cute way.If you work at the Om book store next to NIIT-centre and met that short cute guy in the black coat blue jeans and yeah that unforgettable tee shirt with a -life rocks…just know that i still think about you.

We got out from there.and we went to a adidas showroom.B kept checking the price tags of all the stuff there.He made a strange sound somewhere from his body,what created the environment quite bad smelling,such an unclean guy.Two girls around us covered their nostrils by putting their sweet smelling handkerchief! How they keep such handy stuff all the time with themselves so often?? Anyways,I didnt have to buy anything.So I was relaxed,and tried on all the caps while he went around all the stuff looking for something which had the cost of a spoon.Finally,he bought a pair of shorts red one.Adidas people donot have the right kinda guys for marketing.It is a big shock to me to see an exceedingly black bald aged around 40 bengali man at the billing counter.I felt a strange creepy chill the way he smiled at me.I understand short cute guys are always the prime targets for these kinda men.I will never visit that store again i swear.

Then we went to Nirulas to kill the rats springing inside our stomach.Never trust anyone.anyone.Just donot.Folks promise to pay for pizza and then back out.shudder.And you cant do a thing,just b coz he bought a pair of shorts and got your company while doing it.It is a tough world.I was nt even carrying much money no ATM around us.and we settled for just a pav bhaji.shit man.I wanted to empty the sauce bottle in B’s nose.But a short guy cant just fill someone’s nose with sauce and nt b beaten thereafter.I controlled my anger.He is a tall guy.again shudder.

On our way back in the cab,B’s girlfriend called up.I yelled-Dont touch me B! followed by “leave me B”!in the most girly voice i cant put on.He spent the rest of his call explaning that no one is around me etc etc .You dont give me a pizza.i m goin to tear apart your love life.Very simple.

its getting morning now man,still m nt feeling sleepy.tough to break old bad habits.i think i will start reading “thank you jeeves….”now.the book reminds me of billing counter girl.i guess i would have visited that bookstore on 14th feb.

hello again…

I know this has been my longest hiatus from this space,and anything novice would certainly mar your daily routine unless you have promptness of some well disciplined guy.Who wakes up and flushes his entire self being before time.Cramming work,writing, mulling how to stuff all these just in 24 hours aint easy for me seriously man.So this thing blogging has been suffering.Year passes,and briefcase of responsibility increases.And life rolls on…. Chill man!

As far as weather is concerned,i m happy,this time in Delhi i guess,winter has nt been at its highest level,when a cold-driven guy like me had to fling the blanket out of raucous uneasiness that too in the wee hours because of the reek smelling sweat delivered by the milieu.Thank God, i didnt hurl my tee shirt! God has been kindful.And in this recession period where people have developed the habit of asking ” still in job, gotten hikes,project process still are running etc etc” you feel safe, you answer as smartly as you had answered once about your high grades during school time.This time just slightly more wary like a tweenty year old girl wearing sari for the first time to attend the funeral of her bf’s mama’s youngest sister.Thank God she wore sari atleast.Skirt looks smart,Sari makes you honourable.Being modern can offer you temporary hits,being traditional can make you complete.Things change with time,but then old is Gold.

And now coming back to the break,i think i was beginning to lose the clarity of thinking what has been my hallmark since from chilhood,you *know* the type confused,besides a need for cricket match,soft songs and being lazy.I was starting to lose the wisdom to distinguish a stuff i can change from what i cant change.For example, my bad feeling about the people around me at the office,i need to understand that this thing i cant change,unless i had a gun,which i donot.So i m making it to a personal objective to further instill this understanding in my daily life over the time to come.

And two weeks from now one good friend of mine is getting married,and he called me telling me about his mental state which was as shaky as Pontings cricket career.And he said to me this-”i hope i m doing the right thing”.As i was busy guzzling vegetable juice,i looked into the eyes of shop owner for a few seconds,placed the glass on the table,took one big breathe,exhaled another, and said this-”Bhai, i donot know whether you are doing good or bad,but this has to happen,you are doing it,because by now i have already bought a gift for your D-day,and i m nt goin to refund this at all”.

But seriously,i donot blame that guy for being so shaky,a bit unsettled about his choices and marriage as a whole.At this age when i have spent the last few years exploring the puzzle of human relations using the tired and tested ways of tackling it with disastrous consequences,i can say only thing about marriage-you can only figure out it after 25 years of marriage.So chill,enjoy…life rolls on buddy!

Chaalo yaaaron,abb main kat ta hoon,yahan se.and yeah thanks for the comments made by all of you.many of you really like what i write,seriously man?? Of course some of you have explained me in subtle terms here,but most of you have been so kind,it was really unbelieveable,really.Ok now tell me very candidly what stuff i need to change to b come more sensible.I promise i wont goin to change,but i promise you,i will try to search you during morning walk,and i will place a sharp knife over your neck.Kidding.I wont kill you.Keep smiling.

someone is goin

More than 3 years exactly three blogs by now and then now i m thinking to switch over to some other writing project.Yeah this blog has to suffer,no other option i have now.Some great moments i have swapped through some impeccable bloggers,as right now i m in hurry to explain the entire time of blogging.But in short it was great experience really.

So chill,this blog will remain alive,but yeah no warranty of me writing frequent posts here.Only occasional apppearence that too if i find me totally free like Sourav ganguly!

I will continue writing something and of course somewhere else.Thing, what i have been eluding for around 3-4 years.But its enough.Blog has to suffer.
Thank you all for bearing me and some lovely comments some soul stirring words,everything! Moreover,this writing thing for me is nt just limited to blog,something more than blog,yeah i mean it loving too.So chill,donot fight you nasty brothers and arrogant sisters! but then what is life without having a nasty brother and arrogant sisters.No fun.what is diwali without firecrackers? So encore chill.And wish me good luck please it costs nothing.Just type out a few words haule haule!!

from duffer….!

Happy Birthday my best friend,
Excellent times,we always spend,
Laughter and jokes are common place,
Since we built that solid base,

Special friend that i hold dear,
Always wish to have you near,
We get along like bread with honey,
A friendship worth much more than money.

If you stumble,count me there,
Gratitude: no need to declare.
Your thoughts are clear in my mind,
Understanding we always find.

Happy Birthday my best friend,
I m excited to attend.
This birthday poem is just for you,
A great big smile is overdue!!

two golden hearts

Tears    man.Big  tears.Not   the   limited  tears,which    just   makes  your  cheeks  wet  below   the    eyes.That  was   big,big one.Which   flows  down   the   cheeks   in   a  certain   defined  streams,left    the   dusty   railway  station   wet,plopped   down   on the   surface,left you   completely  void.My   parents  tears,  my  tears.But  not before  my    parents,now m   getting   the  sense   of    artificial     maturity.Shit.I   held    the tears  before the  train   started   crawling  and   when    i    lost    the  glimpse   of    them   after  a  few  seconds.I   know,while   hitting    this  post   m  getting  sissy   and    making   me    emotional.But     thats    the     way    i  m. I     cry    easily.very  easily.

I    left     Muzaffarpur   on    29th  landed    here  safely. I    have set up the room,in my own   unique  way.The    clothes     have  been    shoved   in the   almirah.Sweeped    the    entire   room   with    one year   old   broom.And    now    i   have    severe    pain    in   the    back.How     a     decent    good   girl   can   manage   to  do   such   stuff   almost  everyday,yeah   a  big  pat  from    me,take   it.

But    now   i m   missing   my   family,parents.Would     b    nice    once   i  will   sink myself   into   work  from   tomorrow.Yes    i    just    wish    to sneak   into   the   kitchen  at   my home    just   rite   now.And    scare    my   mummy   by   shouting   in   her  ear.And    then   she    would    turn  and  yell at me-bantu  tu  ek  din heart  attack  karwa  dega.She     often   says   this   whenever   i  do such   stupidity.What    would   b papa   doing rite now??   May    b  he is    reading    some  books  or  newspaper.I      have   always   an   urge   of reading    newspaper  or  books  when  he  is reading   by   heckling   mindlessly    and   we   often end   up   brawling,and   then  mummy    comes   up   and   settle   the matter.

Why    do    i have to b away from  them.Oh  yeah   for career’s  sake.So   i    make    a   lot of  money   and   make   proud   of  me.I    understand.My   being   here   working    out   things,to  get   handsome   salaried   job,this   is   the   best  thing for me  i know.But     for    those    of you    who    are    with  their   parents,please  note   it   donot   let    the   precious   time   go   without    respect   and   enjoyment.Its    only   when   you   are away   from   them   you   feel    the   importance   of  being   together   with   parents.

A     family    is    the   most   natural   blessing.May    b     we     have   b    come    so   used to   a   mummy     working     in     the    kitchen ,to   a    papa   reading   newspaper,to   a   sister   teasing   us   that    we    fail    to   understand    their   importance,we   donot   notice   them much,and    look     for   someone   outside  family,someone   special.But   nothing   nothing   can   come     close    to   love   what    your    parents   give    you.  I    look   at    my hand,rite   one,this    hand   has been  through    slapping    my frnd   in class    5th.Through   holding a  call   letter   as   being    a   state  topper, but     still    the    most    natural    and    loving     thing    this   hand   has    done   is  to  curl   around    my   mummy’s   finger.

The    love    in    a    mothers   heart   cant    b  found    in any    investment    bank,not   in  dollar,not   in  getting   into  any  top    end   engineering    college.We    guys    look   for     big   trophies   seven  figure  salary,reaching   US.But    the   most    natural   and    best    form    of  joy     you    can  feel   is     in    the    unconditional    love    your    parents    can   give   you.You    will   always     have   to   return   to your  parents   to   see   that   glossy   of  true   love   and   caring    in  their  eyes.You   may    sleep    on the    huge  beds with   split   AC   running     around    you,but    the     timeless    feeeling    of  relaxation    and    pure    comfort   comes   only    when    you   are    circled   around    them.

Have    u    ever   discussed    with    your   ma  about    the  moment  when    u   first  time  started   walking.A     twinkle   in her   eyes,the    excitement     in  her    tone,the    pure   smile   on   her  lips,  recalling    all    those    moments   is   something    else.Different   than  any   other   joy,yeah   i mean it.Its     like    her   entire   self    is    submerged    into  something   of    unbridled     joy  of    that    moment,when  first  time   you   pressed   your  soft   tiny  foot    against   this   earth  for   the     first    time.

So     somewhere,remember    that   these  two   people   still    beating   for   you,caring     for     your   happiness    with    all      their   hearts  24\7.Still    wanting    to   stroke    your    hair   now  with  weaker  hands   wrinkled   face   but    with   same    intensity.and    still    feeling   joy    at     your    every smile.

Guys\Gals     people,  you     have    may   created    business,empires,nation,but    those   two     people   have   created    life.Created     you.

Life     may    b   about   getting    into    IITs,RECs,IIMs   and   any   other    top   end   college,getting    a     job     in  new   york,california,doing  MS  at   university of    Berkley,But    life   is also  about    watching     your   mother    wrapping    bedsheets   early   in   the   morning,  about   sharing   morning   tea  with     your    parents,pulling    your   sisters   pony  tail,acting    stupid  knowing      that     one     day     you   will   miss    them,remember   it.your    all     dollars    will   remain   with  you,your    all   fancy  stuff   from   BMW   to     cycle    will  remain   with u.but    they   wont.so   treasure     them.

Life   is   not    about   a   few   big     moments,but a  zillion   small  ones  what    we     come   across   everyday.Sooooo,please     go   out    win     this    plastic     world,b come    famous,but     please    donot   ever    forget    to   care    about   two   golden   hearts,your   father   and    mother.they   are   just   beaming    and   beating   for   U  all  the   time.

Of all angry manic guys around me!

Title often makes me to mull whether i m justifying with post or nt,but today the aptness of the title to the post is as suitable as Johnson baby powder to the kid strutting along the aisle.Since from school time,i had unique set of guys around me,uncanny,when i say uncanny,i donot mean they had two noses,one eye,and three legs.Being strange physically wont that bad rather than having a mind more dead than Mahatma Gandhi is.Now lets see how i unravel such homo sapien guys.Sorry for the grammatical errors what i make often while doodling on my blog!
In class 8th, when i bought my first reebok tee-shirt to attend the annual function of my school.All the guys rushed towards me with the speed of mentally sick dog and flicked my tee-shirt,roamed their fingers on the collar,asked me questions like-kaha se liya? yaar kitne ka hai? Ok,i twig anything new and unseen things can make people to lose sense for sometime,but what about when you intentionally come close to poeple because he is having a new reebok tee-shirt.Doesnt it sound normal? Might b for anyone but to me such kinda demeanour is as crummy as sinking one self into the shabby gutter not cleaned for more than four years.Really i donot understand.

Now other aspect,in +2 i never took any coaching tutions for IIT,if i enjoy something i can understand that and luckily i enjoy maths still,so the question of me cycling since from morning to the evening had no chance at all.When the guys around me stumbling to sit in the last bench along with 100+ other immensely confused guys more than me to listen the concept of y=f(x), i m munching peanuts along with complan and smiling after cracking all Y.G. Files integrations,i mean it.I had very few friends during school given my nature that was not a surprise, but the most shocking part is now,even when they were aware of my style of keeping frnds,after tutions they used to come at my house,i wonder still whether they were trying to hide their inferiority complex or they were really concerned about my future.Shit.Asking me questions like-anupam tu kaun sa book read kar raha hai? tu toh tutions nahi leta hai.Another guy-yaar mujhe bhi brilliant tutorials ka set dena? Encore i twig,such terribly notions would make me happy more than monika bedi after getting the signal of being out from the Big Boss!

See,i m nt trying here to show off,whatever i have achieved,its nothing really.But why to come close to someone when you know he/she is not interested in you at all.Now college life,after letting such revolting times with those guys,quite clear it was for me to b come cautious the day i sprung myself there. i had some great guys,guys of same nature,not much inclined to open the parda of seemingly horrible movies in which there were villians more barbarous then Hitler and more pathetic than rahul mahajan’s life.

But the most shocking thing is some of them were quite studious as serious as Dravid while leaving the ball outside off stump.I often wonder guys with far better acedemic record than me,sitting always in front row,copying out whatever prof tells,sometimes even they perhaps noted down the tone of sniff sniff i guess, in their on ways,attending all classes of the semester,but knocking my door at the midnight and say-jha yaar please check kar le na ye problem sahi hai na? mujhe confusion ho raha hai? And i was under the blanket not even in a mood to talk to my mother how could you reckon that i would guide you then? But for the sake of room-pe-aya-hai-itne-raat-ko i helped them.

Really i donot believe how someone could appear so rotten mentally that they could heckle mindlessly in my life.Whether i have b come a star or i really appear shockingly cavalier to some of you,i donot know.But this is me,if you find my words arrogant written without thoughts,free me.I have impeccable professional life,amazingly nice personal life,and family life.donot ask for that,i will sue anyone for that.Keep your petty mental level and the frustrations for someone else,not for me,else i can sabotage you to the extent you cant imagine even in your wildest nightmares.

My boss rite now reading post.hmm.sorry sir coming.and you donot have to worry what i write on my blog and where i make comments.Rejected guys wanting to cloak their anger by fitting on *great* guys like me! Shudder!

masti yaaron

Every day I take each step
On this rough road alone
Thinking of that moment
When we shared the moments of laughter and joy
When you and i first met in a junction

The flowers were in full bloom
And Robins were singing
You swept my feet off the ground
And in an instant I seemed floating
By your sweetest tone:Who cares face?

We walked n talked for a few minutes
And took strides to farther our walk
While exchanging pleasantries of life
And cracking each other jokes

Time passed so fast we never noticed
Now we are on another junction
Each has to bid the other *so long*
And took paths of different directions
I have moved farther and farther from you
And junction is now out of sight!

Whoaaaa! some jat dogs and cats dint allow me yesterday night to sleep.i thought better i fry some words. now i have b come quite an expert in poetry thanks to some people around me.Give me a pat please.and one angry guy reading my blog,but i have fun being around you.Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Darling muaahhhh to you i mean my angry reader.

your questions my answers

So a close friend of mine of course a “lady”(hiilaaa girl se lady?) was tagging me for the last some months,couldnt remember from when exactly,how could you expect from me to remember such things when i m busy pondering over what i should write for this special post?Moreover, you guys/gals by now know me more than a 8 months old wife could know her hubby,i guess.You people know me quite well chalo maan lete hain kya jata hai.I m the sort of 17th century romantic gabru casanova jawan type guy who would certainly challenge Dara Singh family to ” smash a few slaps” if a lady asks me to do that.And for the record i tell you,a tag is much simpler than protecting my physical well being against entire Dara Singh family since from 17th century.So here i go:

1.Pick out a spot on your body,and explain how you got it:
Suchii main mar janwa keema naan kha ke.These guys are talking about painful memories right away.And i have a strong trust stronger than combined six abs packs of all khans together that any good decent young man sans a past of police encounters “public” beatings should nt have any spots on his “jism”( kuch hindi word bott naughty hota hai like “jism”).So after a foolproof thorough research of the hinterland what my body is, i very openly admit here in front of all ladies and some naughty rude men i have no scars on my body.I know this question asks i must find a scar and then i should explain about it till Vilasrao Deshmukh will lose all his tooth after facing 30+ angry women of Mumbai.God bless him.Galti sabhi karte hain.Chill.But then what do i do if i really have no scars on my body.cant help.clean guy trust me.And especially for the blog post i wont go around asking people hey beat me “bhia log thoda stab karo i need to doodle about my scar on my blog.

2.What is the color of your cell phone?

Whoever manufacture such kinda tags must have been a pure girl.Girly girl.Who screams so loud “soooooo sweeeeeet” everytime looks at a fat baby(itni excite ho ke “so sweet bolti hai ke baby diaper main hi susu kar dalti hai).I mean no male unless he is under acute influence of daru would ever ask a question like-what is the color of your cell phone.But anyway my cell phone looks like…hmmm milte hain fir batate hain! It is as brown as Britney’s hair,as flexible as Shilpa’s waist,as smooth as baby’s bottom.Abb aur kya likhon?Cell phone hai ustaad bomb blast nahi!

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Now for those of you who are new here.Its necessary now to know that i m single.the concept of “bedroom” starts after marriage only for a “guy” like me.donot know about others.Abee koi sting operation hai kya,main mar janwa fir se iss baar pane favorite blogger pe suchiii.Ek seedhe saadhe shareef nauzawan ladke se bedroom ke baare khule aam poochh na kaha ki sharafat hai? On the walls of my bedroom there is hillla i wont write.I have a few posters of some lovely ladies from the time of noor jahan to Amrita rao.And some real pics of pooja priya seema tanu jhanvi fully framed.for a sensitive lad like me would often like to keep the pictures of his ex-girl friends.Yaadein.Meeethi meeethi yaadein.

4.Do you believe in Gay marriage?

Whooaaa! Koi Ufo thode hi hoon jo poochh rahe ho “do you believe in”?I feel marriage is union of two minds,who then commit to walk the road of life together,facing all adversity and celebrating all joys together,and lending hands to each other in the process thats marriage! Gay or otherwise, the beauty of marriage is unaffected by such trivial issues. wahe guru kya jawab diya hai.ek dum Mr.World wala.

5.What time were you born?
On a “fantastic” mild night of 14th october at 11:45.i tumbled here on this earth.and in that room among 11 kids those who were born that day,all of them were girl only,except me.what a start of my life around girls.God.Within nanoseconds of my birth when the nurse wrapped me into white soft blanket,as she was moving towards pram i suddenly pulled her pony tail softly and murmurmed-please keep me there around those babies please! You actually think all this happened? nahi na.But yes i was the only guy in that room thats true.Help me help me oh God ye mujhe ko tu kaha laya hai,kya socha tha kya paya hai inn haseeno se mujhe ko bachaaaaaaa

6.Last person who made you cry?

Me.I feel no body would ever make me cry.Tears flow out through my cheeks when i expect it least.(kaafi profound line hai.nahi samjha toh koi baat nahi).

7. The movie you would want to see again n again?

Now once again i m not a movie freak guy who would stand in front of theatres on the 1st day.I hardly enjoy movies unless that movie has something worthwhile to calm my life and which can strike a chord with my own thoughts,no matter how crude my thoughts are reeally.But still, as she has asked to pick just one-it is “pardes”.if you are someone born after 97,for them i feel sorry.Orthodox simplicity traditional outlook and inner virtues are something what can attract me towards you.My Mahima Choudhary.bhai samjha na.kyon favorite hai?

8.Do you get afraid of dark?
Nooooooo.I love nights.Especially when Black beauty Nandita Das is in the same room.

9 are you shy?
I m as shy as x grade movie of telugu.

10.if you could eat anything rite now what would it b?

Aloo fry any time.along with tomato ketchup sauce.

11.who was the last person on the earth you made mad?

Mummyyyy.who else? who can tolerate me? any one?

12 Now the last and the most heaviest question- Is any one in “love” with you?

Ladies this question is for you aaajo baajo mat dekh.dil ki baat bol daal.ahoo aaho aaho..

Ok i have to sleep now 3 qs are still to come but i never answer all questions in my life in any exams.so let me b what i m.and enjoy….

anything for you maam

We were so young and nonchalant,immature,
We had the world on a string,
But we didnt yet know,
What the next day would bring,

Would i b forced,
to grow up too fast?
We have got to take it back,
But we cant alter the past,

I had so much potential,
You often said,thats what they w’ll say,
How could one moment
change my life this way?

How were we to know?
that one little mistake
Would come back to hit me,
With every breath i take?!!

haule haule

For me,stepping down from the AC first class reservation bogey(haan haan main gareeb hoon,train main journey karta hoon,sabhi state topper flight main travel nahi karte) is often interesting.Besides,yielding me a chance to steal out a big jug.bad habits stuck.It kinda shows the time we live in.It runs like this only.The train stops,no predictions,always late,tired frustrated hurried citizens firing slang after slang to the railway minister.The train shouts-Congrats passenegers we have arrived.On the destination.In the midst of all,i had stolen the sexy looking jug stuffed it in my bag.Nothing can happen better in the society unless guys like me should must get punished for stealing things so shamelessly! At the station a lady is announcing-gadi number 2558,from muzaffarpur to new delhi has arrived on the platform number 143.

People are jumping off from their respective seats,combing their hair,ladies looking into the mirror of the train or some of them are pulling out a tiny glass and eyebrowing and more.God.when will they b b come sensible in the public place? Between these,hitting words like-ufff,ahh,ouch, kaafi late hogayi,etc etc,you know such type never stops.Brushing their bottoms,one cooly forcefully takes out the heavy bag from the lady and shouts-battamiji, abhi police ko kahti hoon.Folks are switching on their cell phones,someone yells-ok you havent sent the car?Before pakistan drops another bomb,most of them has left the train.I still m waiting for everyone to vacant the train,lying on the sofa type bed,of course a bit afraid confused what if the train grp police would catch me with the “jug” i have stolen just seconds ago.But the point is all of them are in hurry.in fact very much in hurry.

A guy, in a black toyota behind my cab is honking is in a acute hurry to reach office(yaar overtake kar na hai kar le gaali kyon deta hai).rich people yelling gaalis like doesnt sound abnormal,this is the way.Young students are in a hurry to eat the chapters before they face the exams.my boss in in hurry to get that report,what is still incomplete b coz of my lazy slow nature.Kudos to me.That smartly dressed waiter at the Nirulas is in a hurry to serve the table number 5.Guys gals sitting at the table number 5 are in a hurry to eat what comes to their table.People at the railway station are in a hurry to spring themselves in the train before the train hits the station.Everebody is in a hurry.fast man.fast.very few people actually wish to live in the moment they are in.

Now i donot know.these people guys gals know better perhaps where they want to b hence they want to b fast to hit that pole.might b they see where to get there so they want to get there very fast.i understand,trust me i m also in the *race* may b they are achievers,big people,focussed guys,bade bade log desh to bomb blast se save karne wale.may i m a slow guy,with IQ lower than my ex maid.may b money doesnt attract me much.kool.and vice versa.a guy who is enjoying music and typing down stuff on his blog which very few people would have interest to read.whatever.i also want to get things may b a hot samosa,burning cup of tea,a TV remote, and of course someone who shares all these with me.

but what i donot fathom is why this hurry? you cant make things happen before time even when you are late.jana kaha hai.brand company,great salary,top designation,ho jayega,trust me.You will b a VP in 4 years not a big thing,but then? where? Cracking joint enttrance test,you will,of course with ECE or CSE.Then? Ok MBA i understand.Life is not in the future.life is here.this moment.

when i was in school,people told me to do very very well in studies else you wouldnt b in a good engg.college.they want only good IQ,doesnt matter how crude you are heartly.i did well in school.surprised all my neighbours by topping,except the head of the department of mathematics S.n.Jha of the university of bihar.then made mistakes more than many of you but i hardly care.i had of m y life during all those silly mistakes.then you need to crack another exam after engg.despite all i did and now surprised my family.Aree bantu ka GRE clear ho gaya!! my sister was sleepless for 3 consecutive nights.

a brand company with of course nice performance till date,despite my laziness being slow.cheers.i know after some time suchii muchii i will have promotion or may b in the next week.so when i didnt have all these people told me get all these but sir now where? better salary that will happen more n more .this never ends.

so my sisters brothers my beautiful girl friends my Didi,now what the world has been telling me what to do,this is what i have learnt,all the points above are very very important,i admit,to grab material things to make parents happy,girl friends also,But true *happiness* is they donot need to tell you about.it is something you feel.and only you have the *right* what makes you happy.when they dnot know where you want to b how could they tell you how to get there.Got the point?

For me,happiness is :-
On a sunny sunday morning peeling out ripe orange,spreading the juice of orange into my mother’s eyes,discussing the future of indian cricket team with papa,snatching the remote from mummy,mummy yells-jaa naha le abb,2 baj rahe hain.and i put my arm around her shoulder and say-kya hai abhi toh 2 baja 20mins more.talking to someone who can understand me evwn when i m all stupid and naughty.caring for someone i want to care.happiness is just being myself.mylifewithmyself thats it.my happiness is nt in the salary high rank brand company.its in in the stuff i had from a long time.i know i need to achieve more of course more.but to b happy you dnt neeed much.i want to achieve things to survive,but to b happy a remote one cup of tea,a hot samosa,will do just fine.

and i m nt goin to write soon will b very busy.so just chill it.see you next year!

clean clean clean

With all due respect to Kevin pietersen and Ricky Ponting fans all around the world,exploited electronics engineers and other exhausted muzzled souls of the nation,these days I m living a content life.Actually i have always lived and enjoyed my circumstances.But these days things are easy.Winter sun is basking on me and i look at the sky and utter-Wow kitna sexy mausam hai,chill! I m sitting on the couch outside the flat flipping through P.G.Wodehouse,this is what i m reading now a days.In the middle i m hitting calls to someone i met during my last police encounter 4 year back.He caught me guzzling bear at 12 in the night near FC Road pune.We gelled jolly well infact he sends me cards mails a lot of of wishes and often warns me to avoid you know what.Besides,these calls,what is making my life interesting are those Moustache men.Moochh in Hindi.

When i was 11 year old i used to ponder a lot over Moustache.I mulled,all these men carrying moustache must had been born during tough times like world war -2.I used to think,these are the men who would certainly smash the entire group of wicked guys in my colony who were disturbing my sisters.

But as i grew up, no infact i never grew up height wise much,hiilla i still sometimes experiment by wearing my class 10th jeans.And it suits me still.God !God!

Chill,lets extend this matter of moustache further.Not the Unshaven Shahid Cute Kapoor type stubble thing.But the severe Jackie Shroff type thing or may b like Anil Kapoor type thing.The black looking thing exactly placed between the lips and the nose of some men,and then some girls and women get exceedingly crazy and start whispering and dreaming of having a moustache man.The most real sign to b a man.Only after marriage they get to understand how horrible it can b when those men are parceling kisses on their cheeks and creating unnecessary discomfort for those lovely ladies.When i was tot,papa used to smite my cheeks i mean he used to kiss me,while the hair of his moustache dug into my baby skin.If you ever have been kissed by a moustache men you can feel the weird feeling it produces.While the lips are producing gentle touch to the cheeks,at the same time moustache creating those unwanted uncompromising state of mind to say-hattooooooo ji aap ki mooochh chubh ti hai.Such a horibble scene man for any man! real shudder!

Then keeping a clean well jolly grown up moustache would certainly would kill your precious time.I have been even harking about those cases of suffocation b coz of tunnel shaped moustache and thick like a mouse.Regular trimming and watering you know such a huge task to do that too early in the morning.I wonder how those men whom i witness near the roadside often with such moustache.Spending time on such stuff,Oooppss better i would walk down the H Block of connaught place with some lovely girls instead trimming those mouse type thick tunnel.

Imagine a Sweet Shahid Kapoor of JAB WE MET with a huge sporty mouse type moustache and siinging the song with kareena-Hum Jo Chal ne lage.And kareena then shouts-Papa! Bacha Lo! Dekho na koi Dako hai! Chhering me very badly!something very horrible and hairy coming towards me!!! Some men have thick moustache like a pencil, some have like toothbrush and etc.But the most horrible among all are those with tunnel type mousy moustache!!

is this nt enough?.time is ruunning out from my hands Mr.landlord who has a tunnel type moustache is goin to hit me soon for panning about those great moustache men!

and have lovely 2009 for all you.keep visiting.even when you have a horrible moustache husband brother and so on….