When strict mummy takes on daddy DUMB

Ever since an article from the magazine Femina i read under the provocative title ‘ Why Indian moms are better’ there has been a kind of debate, especially with the females in my family about the proto-Fascist parenting methods described by the writer her self.Now the writer is no out of touch traditionalist.She was a civil services topper among women candidates in late 90s.Joined IFS, lived mostly in the Europe.Married to a software professional.But she feels, after spending 13 years in the western culture that the western techniques of parenting are too lax reason is there is no peer pressure on the tot to excel.Very bad.

In contrast, the Indian mom has a severe set of rules which Didi herself applied to her only daughter: no school plays, no fretting about not being in a school play: no getting grades less than A:She thinks of a regime where tots practise the guitar for hours without whining.Her style, else you would b punished for sure.Got it?

But while her western friends have expressed shock on her views, there has been a quiet joyful laugh of understanding here in my entire family among females.Many Sherni mothers not only feel happy,they cheer.Yup! At last, there is someone on the same wavelength as us.These Indian moms can b seen anywhere, mulling always that their tot is a combination of Albert Einstein,Issac Newton, Emily Bronte, Sachin Tendulkar, Tom cruise.Not to forget Aishwarya rai and Salman khan please.

So being a non-serious man suddenly one night recently one picture flashed in front of my eyes really man.Not kidding this time.

The picture is about the Indian Strict Mom(ISM).The one evergreen species of any household especially in India.But what about the poor father???What does he mull of all this(mulling he mulls independently)??To make the picture spicy i will assume the poor father too has some thoughts on the subject.Sometimes, he speaks only his views when he sees Strict Indian Mom has gone too far.May b when she goes to her father’s place.Cool.

Lets see a typical swap between ISM and Daddy Dumb.

The scene is set in the kids room early in the morning at 6;40 on a cosy and warm sunday.ISM is shaking her 14 year old daughter and shouting, ” get up Shona, you have to get ready by 7;30 for maths tuition”.Kid-some more time mama,i slept at midnight.”ISM-”But you cant b late,because just after tuition, you need to attend swimming classes, then badminton, then home for a quick brunch and you have nt finished your home work.have you?”Kid- Mom, i did.And can i go to Jiya’s birthday party?”ISM- Are you mad? there is no time,and she has bad influence on you, you got a C in math in the last test”.Ahem, C in maths seriously pretty bad.

From the corner of the room a week voice arrived.”Sniff, cough, dont you think you are being so strict on the child?” Strict??When i was young my mother mom ensured i did all this always on time.Why do you think i m so successful??Wife bleats out all her high percentile from +2 to post graduation and including the recent promotion she got.

At this inimical time, a wise man(including myself) stays out of it, the fools one runs into counter the accusation.Please one advice never counter your wife in such situations please.So wise man retire peacefully to read sunday news paper in the balcony.Papers are of no help either brother.It carries hitting articles like-”state engineering topper says he studied 14 hours a day.”Or ” Word-Wizard from Bihar wins international vocabulary test”.

Daddy Dumb gets into depression and re evaluates his own life.He mulled, he would b strict but a kind and soft parent.Kids and wife would love and respect him.But somewhere the entire script went wrong sala.His voice now trembles as much as like a floating leaf in the open land.

With a deep sorrow he rushes back to the papers.Yup, there are bigger things for a man to tackle rather than these womanly stuff.Men are made to grow the profits of the IT industry, to handle international business and advice Chetan Bhagat to do something soon to improve his writing standard.It is to tackle such big things men are made.After all, managing a home is a woman’s job always!

thoda wait karo aap log…

It looks only the old and mature people are able to sit next to one another and not saying anything but still content.The young,brash and impatient,must always break the silence.

Next post is coming soon!

keep dreaming…

Finally,a much awaited job offer seriously man! “You have a job offer! Would you want to b a Police officer?Please click on the link below”, said an email from an old buddy.A great job offer, no doubt about it, i mulled for a second.The best thing what i collected at first was,being a police officer, i would b able to put some of my blog readers behind the bar,this is what i seriously thought.A much needed job ,what with all that i can imagine the royal salutes i would get.But why some one would offer me this job that too when i m bearing all the beauty parlour bills/mobile bills and what not man, of my Sonu without cheating anyone? Had my old buddy married police chief’s daughter, i struggled to remember and to b honest in any case why would my buddy who never had contacted me in all these years except orkut and facebook friend request,want to pass on this long cherished opportunity to me?

As always i told myself,chill yaar-if he had really such a life-changing offer for me,it was for me to grab it with both hands and enjoy the good times that come along with it.I would start my day with rajma chawal at the Janpath stall in CP.I can now stalk into much crowded fully packed places in CP with females at will safety first fun later,what with all those married ladies coming to me for help.Rami Rakhee.I can walk into the closet sabzi mandi and the vendors would hand over a bunch of green veggies-all for free! Then in the evening i would b entitled to my chai-samosa at the street corner vendor who had put up his stall in the middle of the road infringing all urban civilised rules of this country.A lot of chai- samosa stalls awaited me!

Being a police officer i would no more b the aam admi striving under the financial pressure.Not forcing my Sonu to continue her job.Stay at home and surf the facebook shamelessly.I m khaas,special now, not aam!Idiots.No more hogwash shouting about rising prices on my blog-just roam around the city and get your choicest picks for your family’s living needs.Mummy and Sonu both r happy.I was dreaming,elated man.

I had often regretted not having chosen the most coveted career options, IAS/IPS, at the appropriate juncture in my life.I was always busy smoking different things at different different times at different different places from railway station to 5 star hotels.Rami rakhee. in my life.I dnt drink.tum log kyon drink karte ho? karo maro yaar.

It could have been a dream life if i had,what with plum postings and sudden flux of money fully guaranteed to come my way,which was stamped once i was deeply involved in the bureaucratic race.

I even told myself how i was cut out for the job-being fishy in nature, i was not the sort to fall into the trap of the several types of windfalls-of millions of dollars euros to b claimed by way of lotteries inheritances or just simply being the claimant of my email account,which i was often informed to b a lucky one.

one had also been wiser by the steady advice from buddies which warned me about the danger of clicking on files with uncanny titles like-’Lady Gaga at Purnia(bihar)’.or any other hitting titles.But this was a lucrative job offer!

So Anu darling what are you waiting for?When life’s greatest opportunity is just a click away.I clicked! Click. A new window opened up to Citiville,another game,another childish stuff on the social networking site,Facebook,on the lines of Farmville and Fishville.”Allow Access” it asked me,when thank God,realisation dawned upon me-that i would have to make do with the onions sans stench and live on that Farmville produce and say final Goodbye to the money and mooli i was dreaming about!

@jukebox,tu is tarah se meri zindgi mein shamil hai…

thinking…

I was thinking for a long time how i approach the selection of a title for my book.Do you write the novel with a title already in head,from the inception,or do you determine the title as you write? Though i feel or what i actually like is keeping a title in head from the starting itself. I fathom the title of a book can attract more readers than others,especially if it sticks in the head. Sad, authors dnt have control over the titles(publishing process).Not in my case for sure:)

Just shared this here.nt in a hurry.in touch with my family members for this.FAMILY:):)

Pride n Passion rules

Now i will watch IPL-4.Would b happier very much if Sourav Ganguly smashes Malinga and all.Unfortunately, Pune Warriors would nt play against KKR at the Eden Gardens! Sigh.Imagine Ganguly is stepping out against a rookie off spinner and the ball passes tangentially over Shahrukh’s(blooody u) head and artificial hair and lands in front of Victoria Memorial.Just Imagine!

Good luck Sourav.Missed you badly.And remember Pride and passion rules always!Keep killing the critics!Love you!

apes and men akin…

My sister’s ten-year-old son has a terrible streak in him.This was my recent invention when i chanced to watch him closely.An ardent Telly watcher,he remains glued to the box almost the entire day.A chap lost his senses only on cartoons,stories from scriptures et al is not likely to develop this trait.Surprisingly,cartoons no longer excite him.Once-favourite WWF wrestling has taken a backseat to a different show which makes him happy no end.

While lazily channel surfing,he tumbled upon a telecast of parliament proceedings.And it was love at first sight.He suddenly b came a fan of it because of its aristocracy.In contrast,the wrestling was a word game,he came to realise.The former has all the vital parts of a violent Bollywood movies and more.In total, his transition from harmless cartoons to harmful telecasts has been instant.We are told that constant viewing of Telly can have detrimental effect on the young minds of children.So this, i guess should unravel the new-found aggressiveness in the boy.

Normally schoolchildren relish their visits to zoos and circuses.Those frolicking monkeys in zoos and clumsy clowns in circuses give quite a thrill to them.They also occasionally get to visit the Parliament and state assemblies as part of ‘educational tours’.When the constant philistine scenes and raucous recriminations in these august houses were kept away from their eyes,students were totally had no idea that there were more exciting places than zoos and circuses.Just imagine the evergreen fun of zoo and circus present together at one place.Little wonder that kids would find visits to Parliament and legislatures more interesting than the ones to zoos and circuses.

Guided by teachers, by female teachers:) also,kids line up outside the seats of these lawmakers politely,in total discipline,before gaining entry.However,as they exit, a sea change in their behaviour comes to the fore very clearly.Discipline is the first thing,as though they have just grasped instantly the qualities of lawmakers whom they witnessed inside in the flesh.Even if the only purpose of such visits is supposed to b educational,they rarely serve that end,what with shouting and drumming the table that goes on inside.Unfortunately,students fathom that Parliamentary democracy is just about swapping abuses and blows.

Since so-called educated parents wish their kids to b well away from bad influences,they are ill at ease about the latter being taken on the so-called educational tours.A brother here in Delhi refused to allow his son to b a part of such a tour,surely incurring his teacher’s anger.

Now,great minds(scientists,anyone reading?) tell us that the primate family is a genetically intimate one.This is so especially in the case of monkeys, apes, and what? men and women:).We can no longer shy away the harsh truth that apes and monkeys are close relatives to man and that man is really descended from them.But if you are Doubting Jha,just make your way to a zoo and observe the behaviour of these animals.Mulling over the way these parliamentarians behave,not here in this country,but all over the world,i very personally recommend that you sit in the visitors gallery of any Houses of Parliament or legislature and see the antics of peoples representatives.While the zoo visits assure you of close bond simians have with men.This temporary stay in a seat of power will persuade you that reverse is also very true.Got it?Men are kindred to monkeys and apes.simians in short.

But hey chimpanzee sort of all remember, that in a democracy criticism of politicians is somewhere criticism of ourselves because we have the people there we wanted!

analogy

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs and cats!

metro life

If you have often wanted to know what it feels from within to b in the innards of any huge animals ranging from an elephant to an anaconda yes sans actually being eaten by it,then what you need is to take a ride in the Delhi Metro.Yeah, just one single analogy would not b fair to unravel my Metro experience.So here’s the second one.Riding in the Metro is like taking a full glass of milk mixed with Bhaang ki goli: it does the job in no time,but by the time you realize the after effect you will b all sweating panting lost control over yourself as though you were tied to iron rods when you were being chased by a bunch of famished street Dogs.Its a probability that my not so genial attitude towards this extremely useful mode of transportation has a lot to do with shoddy experiences that i have encountered.But i shall let you b the judge of that.Judge?

To begin with, i have a string of uncomfortable times with the ‘automatic smasher’ which permits you to gain access to the Metro.That are there at the station right before you flash your token.I have understood this after so many failed attempts.Automatic smasher gives you a few seconds to make your way past before it slides shut with a deadly click.Whenever i amble through that horrible thing i gulp the risk of being away from my power to carry on my family name.Family:)

Then ‘automatic crushers’ amazingly are only the starting.But like any typical Bollywood movies where a lover has to cross a million uncanny hindrances,almost same amount of hurdles you need to overcome to reach the Metro.But amongst all the biggest hurdle is the mad crowd.These abnormally cranky folks are found all over the Metro station disguised as fishy individuals: Sober, sensible dignified totally Saroja-ian.Until they hear the Metro screech to a stop-over at which point these harmful Metro-goers spring themselves inside the Metro.And when you are caught in the middle of the huge crowd whose single-minded mission is to parachute themselves into the train at any cost,there is nothing you can do to stop them.Its like those soulless movies where even if you are hitting bullets into their chests and hips too,hurling bombs at them,slapping them on their heads with hockey stick they keep standing in front of you the only damage you see is absence of two front teeth.This body-hitting phenomenon can go on for long periods of time until you are involuntarily pushed inside the Metro feeling angry uncomfortable and even a little bit happy(there are so many reasons when you feel happy while you are being a part of such a huge crowd)!

Chill baba now you are inside the Metro.And now if you mull that vexing agony stops,then you couldnt b more wrong.From the time you see yourself inside the train to the time you hit your stop, you are on an endless journey to find a place to sit.There are so many seats already reserved for ladies(reservation chahiye na?) physically challenged people and old people that its next to impossible for a non-disabled young male to find himself a seat inside the Metro.Really.So when sometime back i came to know by watching a news channel that a man getting beaten up for entering the women’s section inside the Metro, there was a part of Jha(i m a good man) that somewhat empathised with him.

This is my side of the story.But yes there are people who love taking the ride in the Metro.I have friends at the office who swear by the Metro and tell me that its a great fun and liberates their senses,i dnt know.So now i m not sure very much if i should shoot this post to the narcotics department in order to investigate the real cause of such wired words by me or reconsider my own experience about taking the Metro.Rest assured.I dnt like travelling in a Metro.

on break now

Yup for sometime, at least, till the world cup i guess i wont b writing here anything.

And one rip-roaring tidings especially for my female friends, yup the confusion which has been my trademark since i came into this world,all of you are aware damn well about it.It has gone miles away now.I have decided with whom i m goin to spend my life,of course a gal.And we have decided to surmount all the hurdles which we may witness in coming time. Waise dnt try to come between me and my love(in laws hear me?) problems like,i speak very less,dumb? whatever b wary of me i have grown up watching criminals, haan.ek ek ko chun chun ke bhoon daalunga:)

Hurdles like facing your in laws, brother in law(he is a kid pata lunga usko to).Kidding.Permission guaranteed now.

Anyway see you after the world cup with development like shopping with my in laws,and with my parents too.Though i thought kya blog pe ye sab likh na hai yaar.but since i shared ‘so much’ here i thought yesterday night at 2;30am chalo ye bata dete hain.some loyal people are reading this blog and if nt always then atleast once in a blue moon they thought good about me and supported me when i was alone and all you know.chalo enjoy…and dnt fight!

@thejukbox:-baazigar O baazigar,mera dil tha akela tune khel aisa khela:)haar kar jitne wale ko kya kehte hain?Baazigar:)

right?

Kiss your writing: sleep on your writing;take a clump over it;check it of a morning;re-check it of an afternoon; eat it with your lunch;let it sleep on your bed a twelvemonth;Seldom venture a whisper about it to anyone,if he/she be an author especially,else chill!

Of all angry manic guys around me!

Title often makes me to mull whether i m justifying with post or nt,but today the aptness of the title to the post is as suitable as Johnson baby powder to the kid strutting along the aisle.Since from school time,i had unique set of guys around me,uncanny,when i say uncanny,i donot mean they had two noses,one eye,and three legs.Being strange physically wont that bad rather than having a mind more dead than Mahatma Gandhi is.Now lets see how i unravel such homo sapien guys.Sorry for the grammatical errors what i make often while doodling on my blog!
In class 8th, when i bought my first reebok tee-shirt to attend the annual function of my school.All the guys rushed towards me with the speed of mentally sick dog and flicked my tee-shirt,roamed their fingers on the collar,asked me questions like-kaha se liya? yaar kitne ka hai? Ok,i twig anything new and unseen things can make people to lose sense for sometime,but what about when you intentionally come close to poeple because he is having a new reebok tee-shirt.Doesnt it sound normal? Might b for anyone but to me such kinda demeanour is as crummy as sinking one self into the shabby gutter not cleaned for more than four years.Really i donot understand.

Now other aspect,in +2 i never took any coaching tutions for IIT,if i enjoy something i can understand that and luckily i enjoy maths still,so the question of me cycling since from morning to the evening had no chance at all.When the guys around me stumbling to sit in the last bench along with 100+ other immensely confused guys more than me to listen the concept of y=f(x), i m munching peanuts along with complan and smiling after cracking all Y.G. Files integrations,i mean it.I had very few friends during school given my nature that was not a surprise, but the most shocking part is now,even when they were aware of my style of keeping frnds,after tutions they used to come at my house,i wonder still whether they were trying to hide their inferiority complex or they were really concerned about my future.Shit.Asking me questions like-anupam tu kaun sa book read kar raha hai? tu toh tutions nahi leta hai.Another guy-yaar mujhe bhi brilliant tutorials ka set dena? Encore i twig,such terribly notions would make me happy more than monika bedi after getting the signal of being out from the Big Boss!

See,i m nt trying here to show off,whatever i have achieved,its nothing really.But why to come close to someone when you know he/she is not interested in you at all.Now college life,after letting such revolting times with those guys,quite clear it was for me to b come cautious the day i sprung myself there. i had some great guys,guys of same nature,not much inclined to open the parda of seemingly horrible movies in which there were villians more barbarous then Hitler and more pathetic than rahul mahajan’s life.

But the most shocking thing is some of them were quite studious as serious as Dravid while leaving the ball outside off stump.I often wonder guys with far better acedemic record than me,sitting always in front row,copying out whatever prof tells,sometimes even they perhaps noted down the tone of sniff sniff i guess, in their on ways,attending all classes of the semester,but knocking my door at the midnight and say-jha yaar please check kar le na ye problem sahi hai na? mujhe confusion ho raha hai? And i was under the blanket not even in a mood to talk to my mother how could you reckon that i would guide you then? But for the sake of room-pe-aya-hai-itne-raat-ko i helped them.

Really i donot believe how someone could appear so rotten mentally that they could heckle mindlessly in my life.Whether i have b come a star or i really appear shockingly cavalier to some of you,i donot know.But this is me,if you find my words arrogant written without thoughts,free me.I have impeccable professional life,amazingly nice personal life,and family life.donot ask for that,i will sue anyone for that.Keep your petty mental level and the frustrations for someone else,not for me,else i can sabotage you to the extent you cant imagine even in your wildest nightmares.

My boss rite now reading post.hmm.sorry sir coming.and you donot have to worry what i write on my blog and where i make comments.Rejected guys wanting to cloak their anger by fitting on *great* guys like me! Shudder!

masti yaaron

Every day I take each step
On this rough road alone
Thinking of that moment
When we shared the moments of laughter and joy
When you and i first met in a junction

The flowers were in full bloom
And Robins were singing
You swept my feet off the ground
And in an instant I seemed floating
By your sweetest tone:Who cares face?

We walked n talked for a few minutes
And took strides to farther our walk
While exchanging pleasantries of life
And cracking each other jokes

Time passed so fast we never noticed
Now we are on another junction
Each has to bid the other *so long*
And took paths of different directions
I have moved farther and farther from you
And junction is now out of sight!

Whoaaaa! some jat dogs and cats dint allow me yesterday night to sleep.i thought better i fry some words. now i have b come quite an expert in poetry thanks to some people around me.Give me a pat please.and one angry guy reading my blog,but i have fun being around you.Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Darling muaahhhh to you i mean my angry reader.

your questions my answers

So a close friend of mine of course a “lady”(hiilaaa girl se lady?) was tagging me for the last some months,couldnt remember from when exactly,how could you expect from me to remember such things when i m busy pondering over what i should write for this special post?Moreover, you guys/gals by now know me more than a 8 months old wife could know her hubby,i guess.You people know me quite well chalo maan lete hain kya jata hai.I m the sort of 17th century romantic gabru casanova jawan type guy who would certainly challenge Dara Singh family to ” smash a few slaps” if a lady asks me to do that.And for the record i tell you,a tag is much simpler than protecting my physical well being against entire Dara Singh family since from 17th century.So here i go:

1.Pick out a spot on your body,and explain how you got it:
Suchii main mar janwa keema naan kha ke.These guys are talking about painful memories right away.And i have a strong trust stronger than combined six abs packs of all khans together that any good decent young man sans a past of police encounters “public” beatings should nt have any spots on his “jism”( kuch hindi word bott naughty hota hai like “jism”).So after a foolproof thorough research of the hinterland what my body is, i very openly admit here in front of all ladies and some naughty rude men i have no scars on my body.I know this question asks i must find a scar and then i should explain about it till Vilasrao Deshmukh will lose all his tooth after facing 30+ angry women of Mumbai.God bless him.Galti sabhi karte hain.Chill.But then what do i do if i really have no scars on my body.cant help.clean guy trust me.And especially for the blog post i wont go around asking people hey beat me “bhia log thoda stab karo i need to doodle about my scar on my blog.

2.What is the color of your cell phone?

Whoever manufacture such kinda tags must have been a pure girl.Girly girl.Who screams so loud “soooooo sweeeeeet” everytime looks at a fat baby(itni excite ho ke “so sweet bolti hai ke baby diaper main hi susu kar dalti hai).I mean no male unless he is under acute influence of daru would ever ask a question like-what is the color of your cell phone.But anyway my cell phone looks like…hmmm milte hain fir batate hain! It is as brown as Britney’s hair,as flexible as Shilpa’s waist,as smooth as baby’s bottom.Abb aur kya likhon?Cell phone hai ustaad bomb blast nahi!

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Now for those of you who are new here.Its necessary now to know that i m single.the concept of “bedroom” starts after marriage only for a “guy” like me.donot know about others.Abee koi sting operation hai kya,main mar janwa fir se iss baar pane favorite blogger pe suchiii.Ek seedhe saadhe shareef nauzawan ladke se bedroom ke baare khule aam poochh na kaha ki sharafat hai? On the walls of my bedroom there is hillla i wont write.I have a few posters of some lovely ladies from the time of noor jahan to Amrita rao.And some real pics of pooja priya seema tanu jhanvi fully framed.for a sensitive lad like me would often like to keep the pictures of his ex-girl friends.Yaadein.Meeethi meeethi yaadein.

4.Do you believe in Gay marriage?

Whooaaa! Koi Ufo thode hi hoon jo poochh rahe ho “do you believe in”?I feel marriage is union of two minds,who then commit to walk the road of life together,facing all adversity and celebrating all joys together,and lending hands to each other in the process thats marriage! Gay or otherwise, the beauty of marriage is unaffected by such trivial issues. wahe guru kya jawab diya hai.ek dum Mr.World wala.

5.What time were you born?
On a “fantastic” mild night of 14th october at 11:45.i tumbled here on this earth.and in that room among 11 kids those who were born that day,all of them were girl only,except me.what a start of my life around girls.God.Within nanoseconds of my birth when the nurse wrapped me into white soft blanket,as she was moving towards pram i suddenly pulled her pony tail softly and murmurmed-please keep me there around those babies please! You actually think all this happened? nahi na.But yes i was the only guy in that room thats true.Help me help me oh God ye mujhe ko tu kaha laya hai,kya socha tha kya paya hai inn haseeno se mujhe ko bachaaaaaaa

6.Last person who made you cry?

Me.I feel no body would ever make me cry.Tears flow out through my cheeks when i expect it least.(kaafi profound line hai.nahi samjha toh koi baat nahi).

7. The movie you would want to see again n again?

Now once again i m not a movie freak guy who would stand in front of theatres on the 1st day.I hardly enjoy movies unless that movie has something worthwhile to calm my life and which can strike a chord with my own thoughts,no matter how crude my thoughts are reeally.But still, as she has asked to pick just one-it is “pardes”.if you are someone born after 97,for them i feel sorry.Orthodox simplicity traditional outlook and inner virtues are something what can attract me towards you.My Mahima Choudhary.bhai samjha na.kyon favorite hai?

8.Do you get afraid of dark?
Nooooooo.I love nights.Especially when Black beauty Nandita Das is in the same room.

9 are you shy?
I m as shy as x grade movie of telugu.

10.if you could eat anything rite now what would it b?

Aloo fry any time.along with tomato ketchup sauce.

11.who was the last person on the earth you made mad?

Mummyyyy.who else? who can tolerate me? any one?

12 Now the last and the most heaviest question- Is any one in “love” with you?

Ladies this question is for you aaajo baajo mat dekh.dil ki baat bol daal.ahoo aaho aaho..

Ok i have to sleep now 3 qs are still to come but i never answer all questions in my life in any exams.so let me b what i m.and enjoy….

anything for you maam

We were so young and nonchalant,immature,
We had the world on a string,
But we didnt yet know,
What the next day would bring,

Would i b forced,
to grow up too fast?
We have got to take it back,
But we cant alter the past,

I had so much potential,
You often said,thats what they w’ll say,
How could one moment
change my life this way?

How were we to know?
that one little mistake
Would come back to hit me,
With every breath i take?!!

haule haule

For me,stepping down from the AC first class reservation bogey(haan haan main gareeb hoon,train main journey karta hoon,sabhi state topper flight main travel nahi karte) is often interesting.Besides,yielding me a chance to steal out a big jug.bad habits stuck.It kinda shows the time we live in.It runs like this only.The train stops,no predictions,always late,tired frustrated hurried citizens firing slang after slang to the railway minister.The train shouts-Congrats passenegers we have arrived.On the destination.In the midst of all,i had stolen the sexy looking jug stuffed it in my bag.Nothing can happen better in the society unless guys like me should must get punished for stealing things so shamelessly! At the station a lady is announcing-gadi number 2558,from muzaffarpur to new delhi has arrived on the platform number 143.

People are jumping off from their respective seats,combing their hair,ladies looking into the mirror of the train or some of them are pulling out a tiny glass and eyebrowing and more.God.when will they b b come sensible in the public place? Between these,hitting words like-ufff,ahh,ouch, kaafi late hogayi,etc etc,you know such type never stops.Brushing their bottoms,one cooly forcefully takes out the heavy bag from the lady and shouts-battamiji, abhi police ko kahti hoon.Folks are switching on their cell phones,someone yells-ok you havent sent the car?Before pakistan drops another bomb,most of them has left the train.I still m waiting for everyone to vacant the train,lying on the sofa type bed,of course a bit afraid confused what if the train grp police would catch me with the “jug” i have stolen just seconds ago.But the point is all of them are in hurry.in fact very much in hurry.

A guy, in a black toyota behind my cab is honking is in a acute hurry to reach office(yaar overtake kar na hai kar le gaali kyon deta hai).rich people yelling gaalis like doesnt sound abnormal,this is the way.Young students are in a hurry to eat the chapters before they face the exams.my boss in in hurry to get that report,what is still incomplete b coz of my lazy slow nature.Kudos to me.That smartly dressed waiter at the Nirulas is in a hurry to serve the table number 5.Guys gals sitting at the table number 5 are in a hurry to eat what comes to their table.People at the railway station are in a hurry to spring themselves in the train before the train hits the station.Everebody is in a hurry.fast man.fast.very few people actually wish to live in the moment they are in.

Now i donot know.these people guys gals know better perhaps where they want to b hence they want to b fast to hit that pole.might b they see where to get there so they want to get there very fast.i understand,trust me i m also in the *race* may b they are achievers,big people,focussed guys,bade bade log desh to bomb blast se save karne wale.may i m a slow guy,with IQ lower than my ex maid.may b money doesnt attract me much.kool.and vice versa.a guy who is enjoying music and typing down stuff on his blog which very few people would have interest to read.whatever.i also want to get things may b a hot samosa,burning cup of tea,a TV remote, and of course someone who shares all these with me.

but what i donot fathom is why this hurry? you cant make things happen before time even when you are late.jana kaha hai.brand company,great salary,top designation,ho jayega,trust me.You will b a VP in 4 years not a big thing,but then? where? Cracking joint enttrance test,you will,of course with ECE or CSE.Then? Ok MBA i understand.Life is not in the future.life is here.this moment.

when i was in school,people told me to do very very well in studies else you wouldnt b in a good engg.college.they want only good IQ,doesnt matter how crude you are heartly.i did well in school.surprised all my neighbours by topping,except the head of the department of mathematics S.n.Jha of the university of bihar.then made mistakes more than many of you but i hardly care.i had of m y life during all those silly mistakes.then you need to crack another exam after engg.despite all i did and now surprised my family.Aree bantu ka GRE clear ho gaya!! my sister was sleepless for 3 consecutive nights.

a brand company with of course nice performance till date,despite my laziness being slow.cheers.i know after some time suchii muchii i will have promotion or may b in the next week.so when i didnt have all these people told me get all these but sir now where? better salary that will happen more n more .this never ends.

so my sisters brothers my beautiful girl friends my Didi,now what the world has been telling me what to do,this is what i have learnt,all the points above are very very important,i admit,to grab material things to make parents happy,girl friends also,But true *happiness* is they donot need to tell you about.it is something you feel.and only you have the *right* what makes you happy.when they dnot know where you want to b how could they tell you how to get there.Got the point?

For me,happiness is :-
On a sunny sunday morning peeling out ripe orange,spreading the juice of orange into my mother’s eyes,discussing the future of indian cricket team with papa,snatching the remote from mummy,mummy yells-jaa naha le abb,2 baj rahe hain.and i put my arm around her shoulder and say-kya hai abhi toh 2 baja 20mins more.talking to someone who can understand me evwn when i m all stupid and naughty.caring for someone i want to care.happiness is just being myself.mylifewithmyself thats it.my happiness is nt in the salary high rank brand company.its in in the stuff i had from a long time.i know i need to achieve more of course more.but to b happy you dnt neeed much.i want to achieve things to survive,but to b happy a remote one cup of tea,a hot samosa,will do just fine.

and i m nt goin to write soon will b very busy.so just chill it.see you next year!

clean clean clean

With all due respect to Kevin pietersen and Ricky Ponting fans all around the world,exploited electronics engineers and other exhausted muzzled souls of the nation,these days I m living a content life.Actually i have always lived and enjoyed my circumstances.But these days things are easy.Winter sun is basking on me and i look at the sky and utter-Wow kitna sexy mausam hai,chill! I m sitting on the couch outside the flat flipping through P.G.Wodehouse,this is what i m reading now a days.In the middle i m hitting calls to someone i met during my last police encounter 4 year back.He caught me guzzling bear at 12 in the night near FC Road pune.We gelled jolly well infact he sends me cards mails a lot of of wishes and often warns me to avoid you know what.Besides,these calls,what is making my life interesting are those Moustache men.Moochh in Hindi.

When i was 11 year old i used to ponder a lot over Moustache.I mulled,all these men carrying moustache must had been born during tough times like world war -2.I used to think,these are the men who would certainly smash the entire group of wicked guys in my colony who were disturbing my sisters.

But as i grew up, no infact i never grew up height wise much,hiilla i still sometimes experiment by wearing my class 10th jeans.And it suits me still.God !God!

Chill,lets extend this matter of moustache further.Not the Unshaven Shahid Cute Kapoor type stubble thing.But the severe Jackie Shroff type thing or may b like Anil Kapoor type thing.The black looking thing exactly placed between the lips and the nose of some men,and then some girls and women get exceedingly crazy and start whispering and dreaming of having a moustache man.The most real sign to b a man.Only after marriage they get to understand how horrible it can b when those men are parceling kisses on their cheeks and creating unnecessary discomfort for those lovely ladies.When i was tot,papa used to smite my cheeks i mean he used to kiss me,while the hair of his moustache dug into my baby skin.If you ever have been kissed by a moustache men you can feel the weird feeling it produces.While the lips are producing gentle touch to the cheeks,at the same time moustache creating those unwanted uncompromising state of mind to say-hattooooooo ji aap ki mooochh chubh ti hai.Such a horibble scene man for any man! real shudder!

Then keeping a clean well jolly grown up moustache would certainly would kill your precious time.I have been even harking about those cases of suffocation b coz of tunnel shaped moustache and thick like a mouse.Regular trimming and watering you know such a huge task to do that too early in the morning.I wonder how those men whom i witness near the roadside often with such moustache.Spending time on such stuff,Oooppss better i would walk down the H Block of connaught place with some lovely girls instead trimming those mouse type thick tunnel.

Imagine a Sweet Shahid Kapoor of JAB WE MET with a huge sporty mouse type moustache and siinging the song with kareena-Hum Jo Chal ne lage.And kareena then shouts-Papa! Bacha Lo! Dekho na koi Dako hai! Chhering me very badly!something very horrible and hairy coming towards me!!! Some men have thick moustache like a pencil, some have like toothbrush and etc.But the most horrible among all are those with tunnel type mousy moustache!!

is this nt enough?.time is ruunning out from my hands Mr.landlord who has a tunnel type moustache is goin to hit me soon for panning about those great moustache men!

and have lovely 2009 for all you.keep visiting.even when you have a horrible moustache husband brother and so on….

from duffer….!

Happy Birthday my best friend,
Excellent times,we always spend,
Laughter and jokes are common place,
Since we built that solid base,

Special friend that i hold dear,
Always wish to have you near,
We get along like bread with honey,
A friendship worth much more than money.

If you stumble,count me there,
Gratitude: no need to declare.
Your thoughts are clear in my mind,
Understanding we always find.

Happy Birthday my best friend,
I m excited to attend.
This birthday poem is just for you,
A great big smile is overdue!!

someone is goin

More than 3 years exactly three blogs by now and then now i m thinking to switch over to some other writing project.Yeah this blog has to suffer,no other option i have now.Some great moments i have swapped through some impeccable bloggers,as right now i m in hurry to explain the entire time of blogging.But in short it was great experience really.

So chill,this blog will remain alive,but yeah no warranty of me writing frequent posts here.Only occasional apppearence that too if i find me totally free like Sourav ganguly!

I will continue writing something and of course somewhere else.Thing, what i have been eluding for around 3-4 years.But its enough.Blog has to suffer.
Thank you all for bearing me and some lovely comments some soul stirring words,everything! Moreover,this writing thing for me is nt just limited to blog,something more than blog,yeah i mean it loving too.So chill,donot fight you nasty brothers and arrogant sisters! but then what is life without having a nasty brother and arrogant sisters.No fun.what is diwali without firecrackers? So encore chill.And wish me good luck please it costs nothing.Just type out a few words haule haule!!

hello again…

I know this has been my longest hiatus from this space,and anything novice would certainly mar your daily routine unless you have promptness of some well disciplined guy.Who wakes up and flushes his entire self being before time.Cramming work,writing, mulling how to stuff all these just in 24 hours aint easy for me seriously man.So this thing blogging has been suffering.Year passes,and briefcase of responsibility increases.And life rolls on…. Chill man!

As far as weather is concerned,i m happy,this time in Delhi i guess,winter has nt been at its highest level,when a cold-driven guy like me had to fling the blanket out of raucous uneasiness that too in the wee hours because of the reek smelling sweat delivered by the milieu.Thank God, i didnt hurl my tee shirt! God has been kindful.And in this recession period where people have developed the habit of asking ” still in job, gotten hikes,project process still are running etc etc” you feel safe, you answer as smartly as you had answered once about your high grades during school time.This time just slightly more wary like a tweenty year old girl wearing sari for the first time to attend the funeral of her bf’s mama’s youngest sister.Thank God she wore sari atleast.Skirt looks smart,Sari makes you honourable.Being modern can offer you temporary hits,being traditional can make you complete.Things change with time,but then old is Gold.

And now coming back to the break,i think i was beginning to lose the clarity of thinking what has been my hallmark since from chilhood,you *know* the type confused,besides a need for cricket match,soft songs and being lazy.I was starting to lose the wisdom to distinguish a stuff i can change from what i cant change.For example, my bad feeling about the people around me at the office,i need to understand that this thing i cant change,unless i had a gun,which i donot.So i m making it to a personal objective to further instill this understanding in my daily life over the time to come.

And two weeks from now one good friend of mine is getting married,and he called me telling me about his mental state which was as shaky as Pontings cricket career.And he said to me this-”i hope i m doing the right thing”.As i was busy guzzling vegetable juice,i looked into the eyes of shop owner for a few seconds,placed the glass on the table,took one big breathe,exhaled another, and said this-”Bhai, i donot know whether you are doing good or bad,but this has to happen,you are doing it,because by now i have already bought a gift for your D-day,and i m nt goin to refund this at all”.

But seriously,i donot blame that guy for being so shaky,a bit unsettled about his choices and marriage as a whole.At this age when i have spent the last few years exploring the puzzle of human relations using the tired and tested ways of tackling it with disastrous consequences,i can say only thing about marriage-you can only figure out it after 25 years of marriage.So chill,enjoy…life rolls on buddy!

Chaalo yaaaron,abb main kat ta hoon,yahan se.and yeah thanks for the comments made by all of you.many of you really like what i write,seriously man?? Of course some of you have explained me in subtle terms here,but most of you have been so kind,it was really unbelieveable,really.Ok now tell me very candidly what stuff i need to change to b come more sensible.I promise i wont goin to change,but i promise you,i will try to search you during morning walk,and i will place a sharp knife over your neck.Kidding.I wont kill you.Keep smiling.

sunday evening

I m starting this post,reason is, I m nt feeling sleepy.I m just goin to type out stuff about my evening.I m hoping to fall asleep while writing this post on the keyboard it self.I m sure some of you too may fall asleep while reading this.

This evening,B came to my room,when i was busy thinking about Frieda Pinto’s nose hair.He had to go for shopping.He asked me to accompany him.An official friend.He promised to pay for my pizza if i went with him.And it took nearly 4 seconds to get ready.

So we went to Om Book store At the PVR saket.Its a nice shiny bookstore with a lot of books.Middle aged women in saris,kurtas, tight jeans,sit around on the stools and poring over the books,discussing paths to bring back the fire,lost love in their married lives.Small tots noisily running around them,whipping sari’s pallu,pulling pony tails,kids cant do more.Their grumpy mothers warning them to shut up else they can burn their toys.Young girls around fiction books.Reality bites.Fiction ….(dada kya likhon)! I guess,most people found in a book store are fat.Sitting and reading books on weight reduction most probably.I picked up “Thank you jeeves” by P.G. wodehouse(bahut bada fan hoon main wood Ji ka) and went to the billing counter.

The billing girl looked at the centre of my tee shirt,where she found-” Life rocks,when you buy me” and gave me a smile.I guess she liked my decent choice in clothes.And as i went away,she smiled back again at me.I m feeling it still.It wasnt the official kinda smile every customer gets,i mull she liked me in a very cute way.If you work at the Om book store next to NIIT-centre and met that short cute guy in the black coat blue jeans and yeah that unforgettable tee shirt with a -life rocks…just know that i still think about you.

We got out from there.and we went to a adidas showroom.B kept checking the price tags of all the stuff there.He made a strange sound somewhere from his body,what created the environment quite bad smelling,such an unclean guy.Two girls around us covered their nostrils by putting their sweet smelling handkerchief! How they keep such handy stuff all the time with themselves so often?? Anyways,I didnt have to buy anything.So I was relaxed,and tried on all the caps while he went around all the stuff looking for something which had the cost of a spoon.Finally,he bought a pair of shorts red one.Adidas people donot have the right kinda guys for marketing.It is a big shock to me to see an exceedingly black bald aged around 40 bengali man at the billing counter.I felt a strange creepy chill the way he smiled at me.I understand short cute guys are always the prime targets for these kinda men.I will never visit that store again i swear.

Then we went to Nirulas to kill the rats springing inside our stomach.Never trust anyone.anyone.Just donot.Folks promise to pay for pizza and then back out.shudder.And you cant do a thing,just b coz he bought a pair of shorts and got your company while doing it.It is a tough world.I was nt even carrying much money no ATM around us.and we settled for just a pav bhaji.shit man.I wanted to empty the sauce bottle in B’s nose.But a short guy cant just fill someone’s nose with sauce and nt b beaten thereafter.I controlled my anger.He is a tall guy.again shudder.

On our way back in the cab,B’s girlfriend called up.I yelled-Dont touch me B! followed by “leave me B”!in the most girly voice i cant put on.He spent the rest of his call explaning that no one is around me etc etc .You dont give me a pizza.i m goin to tear apart your love life.Very simple.

its getting morning now man,still m nt feeling sleepy.tough to break old bad habits.i think i will start reading “thank you jeeves….”now.the book reminds me of billing counter girl.i guess i would have visited that bookstore on 14th feb.

Topic nahi hai dada..help karo…

After reading the title,some of you may b pondering over me and murmuring-Stupid topic nahi to likh ta kyon hai?
One of you are hitting the keyboard and letting the smile to jump onto the screen and then dispatch it through the comments.What a sweet way to emanate the feelings.Comments! Thank God…hey seriously i got the topic now! Fantastic…Comments!
****************************
Comments, this very word has power of Hitler,innocence of lambs(especially my comments,i swear on my writing dreams).Getting serious now,see,in my opinion,if you have a desire of Vidya Balan to kill the opponents around her by exposing to grab the forthcoming best actress award by holding a statue.If you have that desire…one can cross limits to get comments on his/her blogs.But as far as my blogging experience says,i havent found anyone with this kind of shallow interest in comments(i m excluding my self).Nice world.Still so many beautiful hearts around me.Thank God!

Now i m diving deep into this matter….i donot know swimming.Gaon walon bacha lena….The ground cause of blogging is someone wants to say something,anything…may b how to get over from serious bomb attacks to express his/her feelings through amazingly hearttakingly “poems” by keeping the person in “dark”.To launch a new product,it could b anything.For me its just fun.nothing.I m excluding 4-5 posts of mine.Yaaar that i wrote when 3 mike tysons sized men were fighting over one jockey.so pardon me.

As far as this blog is concerned,apart from 3-4 comments,most of the times,i have had the privilege of getting comments as sweet as Juhi’s smile.what i never knew that one day i would b getting this genus of response.This is the biggest surprise of my life time.Not even when i received that call letter with a rank as high as Effiel tower.Not when my hod banned to write the semester paper.Nothing was more shocking than reading comments on my blog.Chill,leave this part to b discussed in the next blogging meeting which is goin to b held on 11th may at Muzaffarpur.Home town hai yaar to meeting kahan karonga…..jakarta mein?

“And then some girl’s blog”! Maa kasamm….a yash chopra flick with a cracking Priety and Shah rukh plus everything can b flop…but sir….if a girl is blogging it means trillion times more popular…..hey flow nahi aa raha hai….koi baat hai….khoye khoye se lag raha hoon.Even i m responsible for that…chill…..tried so many ways to stop reading those blogs….but every time….its like…
I Admit some of them are writing exceptionally well….writing topics which can even wake up a guy like me to think about the society.Its commendable…no doubt.Such guts.Panning the community,yet able to mesmerize the same folks.Some talent man!Socking blogs with topics as burning as a newly married girl away from her hubby! So..such blogs get torrented by guys like me and of course better than me too.I m nt that much good yaar.

And then real trendy arguments happen across the internet globe.Folks writing comments with different names….one of them trying to impress the Author so no matter how stupid the post….we have to praise…i m also among them…some one got serious …after witnessing all these and jumps over from wasteland to that blog.And start showering gyan after gyan…And then me like-areee itna serious post thaa kya?? Ek baar fir se read kar ta hoon!Someone changed his gender even from a guy he b comes a girl…and then writing comments….aree yaar…gender kyon change kar ta hai.
Whatever,comment could b venomous, written without goin through the post.if its nt insulting the person as a whole.It should nt create any prob for anyone.One can agree and disagree its all matter of choice opinion,isnt it?Comments should nt b taken very seriously at all.If its good,great…if nt then click on the knife button….and ghoosa dooo….

downright scarcity of time….i m goin….please donot take anything written here personally….agar lena hai to le lo mera kya jayega….!!!

never again…

It had been goin on for years
The arguments and the abuse
I just tried to live up with it
B coz you had always an excuse

You never smacked me through your words
Actually you didnt need to do that
The words that came out from your mouth
Was worse than any abuse

I always thought you would b better one day
That your maturity level would never sink
Its indeed funny how a few choice words
Did more than make me laugh

It took me a long long time
I guess i was in denial since from the dawn
I could never do or say anything
As i was always on trial

But now finally finally i had enough
I couldnt take anymore
I had to get out
My self esteem needed restored

I feel better now really
Even though my head is screwed up
But eventually may b
I will learn to say…NEVER AGAIN…

that fat spunky tot

Long time back perhaps in the late eighties a kid with the texture of an ellipse ran across the 22 yards to complete his maiden half century.After,losing his front teeth just on the same ball.The hard cricket ball nudges the handle of the bat,directly hits the lips,blood started running down throw the neck,chin.Friends came around him, frightened,afraid(agar bunty ki mummy ko pata chal gaya to sab ki watt lag jayegi..), shocked,in the middle of these horrible pictures, that guy completes his run,reached non-striker end,looks on the ball, ball is already out side the boundary line(chhota boundary thaa yaar).And he yells- we won yaar…i made my first 50…blood gaya doctor ke pass!! Come on,i m nt saying you folks now should put down your specs,girls must hand over their sari clad pics what they keep for marriage purposes to me,and some married ones fumbles casually:”bade aaye ho”.For all of you,while hitting the post in the starting i was clueless,empty headed and most importantly i m very close now to take some life time decision and as all of you know my trademark is being confused, then this incident spinned inside my mind and i wrote the above.

There are incidents in life happen with you,when you least expect it,there are incidents leave you flummoxed like a monkey watching Femina miss India beauty awards.There are incidents which are quite expected as you grow up.You kind of b come a serious guy suddenly,you mug terribly boring inorganic chemistry notes to pass the chemistry paper in +2.You kind of sharp who can if at his normal best then can shorten the 9 steps of any integration just within 4.You are the type who can flip through any dictionary ceaselessly for 6-7 hours.You give a damn to anyone,you belong to the group of guys who have mostly socked the word success after struggle.You are the master of your own world.Chill yaar.

Over the years,trust me there are innumerable incidents like the above happened with me and if by mistake or by some fluke if i would b able to script a book surely i will try to seize all those unforgettable sweet,sour,some shockingly funny moments.

And yes as i have written somewhere in the above paragraph,i m goin to take some serious step regarding personal life.I know i m a kind of-abhi? 1 year aur yaar..But its already late….and i need to keep up the promise i made to someone long time back.I know i m a promise breaker,insensitive,without heart,very cheap Anu is etc etc.And for some-down to earth,humble,lazy,polite…too much..and all these points dont make much sense i know,b coz some people like you even when the world around you finds totally unfit.Some people talk to you just to keep alive the relationship.Some people think,i m nt a good guy at all to get maithil brahmin girl.Some people think i dnt have the courage to b what i say i want to b.somepeople who think i m nt a practical enough,some people think i would forget all these after writing the post.Some people who think i dnt know what i want to b.For all chill man…i have found my friend.

i dnt expect all of you should understand what i write and why i write really.Thanks to you my friend.Thanks to parents.

I m a lucky guy since childhood.Luck has been my forte and i guess it will b in future too.I know this post is a real hotch potch.typical me.May b i wont b able to achieve things like others,may b my dreams are completely haywire for the world,but i m happy.may b i wont b able to ride on benze but i m happy man!

Thanks to my friend. A freind(spelling mistake yaar) who gives me courage and power to fight out with the world nt by her external charm,and nt by her postgraduate degree nt by her love,but by being who she is.

a friend who deserves respect more than love.i know people are reading this.since its been 2 years almost i have been writing this blog of course she being the central reason that i started writing my blog again after deleting 2 previous blogs.she deserves a party from me very soon! hope she wont bite me:)

buss aise hi socha kuch likh daalo:)

plz dnt take seriously i m about to take my cab written this post very speedily so pardon me for all the mistakes i have made above!

coke nahi hai baba

Writing something deliberate with grave effort is not in my character.I tried my utter best to doodle something here,serious,thought provoking,mind-boggling,you know things which can b copied and pasted from internet giant google search engine.But for a guy like me even searching those serious topic would b as boring as hearing Priety zinta’s theory on the basics of Cricket.Now you can fathom what a pathetic searcher i m,isnt it? People tell me things like- some creativity man,your blog looks directionless,astray,off the track, and as i was striving lighting my gold flake,i kept the phone on the table,lighted my fag,all these took me around some seconds,and the female friend busy barking about all.Only after telling her about that i wasnt hearing her,she came to know about my other sober trait of not listening calls properly.Stupidity has no limits.

And now i m back to keep up the promise intact by writing here may nt b serious,may nt b something which can make some of you after reading-” this guy is really serious enough to make nana patekar a humorous king”.Or can raise up the eyebrows of the readers like a growling kitten after watching a bunch of rabbies.Even i donot wish that my readers would get in such a serious state after reading this.So,chill the way i m writing,the way i have been trying to interpolate my life here,may b in a directionless way.O Anupam the scalar.

The effect of watching numerous sparkling cricket matches, made me so confused that i even could nt understand whether i m seeing a cricket match or just gazing on something colourful, grossly showy, leaving me more puzzled than once i was in front of a ticket collector in the mithila express while no money in my pocket nothing except a packet of Bidi.Poor from a long time.God,why do you throw me in those not so pleasing circumstances? Or is it just me putting myself there? Whatever,i mean, despite being an ardent cricket watcher, i m not relishing these IPL matches.The beauty of cricket is gone only the added glamour is alive now,that too when you hit sixes fours,scalp a wicket, the TV camera zooms on raunchy figures,gals throwing smiles at the rate faster than lee’s yorker,zinta mourns,shouts,hugs,more frequently than she ever did in her entire film career.Money man money.Let me now close the door of whining about all these.

On the another side of my life,i have been drinking coke more than a glass of water.Its like,breakfast,ok have a coke! Lunch,lets drink another! Oh, you know Alvika,these days the delhi water supply people have been so dirty,with the big tank of water they supply cockroaches too,and last year summer i consumed two such worms, and bcoz of that,you know,i have been behaving a bit erratic even on my blog,and in real life too,but now i wish to stop taking those worms by replacing it with Coke.Alvika-oh really Anupam,never knew,even i was thinking how on earth a guy like you could behave like a 50 years old unemployed man with two wives running around with their hands occupied with knives as sharp as tipu sultan’s sword and a group of kids half naked scraping his matured hair fully white with the urge of you-are-a-shit-papa! God. You know now what i mean.And b coz this during high summer season when a normal people would love to drink cold water.I m busy looking for pills to calm down my throat.

And about my life,you know something happened,and i m thanking all of you for showing so much concern and wishes.i dont know when i will do the favour by inviting all of you.but i promise you that i will remember all of you.you people have really a big heart man,not the kind of-hum to wo praaani hain ki bheekhari ke katore se bhi paise nikal sakte hain,comment kya karenge, type.and my blog will remain same,with same stupidity,brashness,and my confused humor.And i m planning a few new things for that may b i need to fly over some other city.of course not sure.depends on the circumstances and a bit of luck too.see,what happens.

Going home is also a task now.its been sometime and despite all the stuff around me looks perfectly shiny,i guess something is missing from the list.that is parents,home,ghar ka tv,the greenish balcony,rubber plants with heights 3 times of mine, drawing room where everything appears as placed properly as a model ready to give a snapshot but with no smile on her face.got it? so in the days to come i would try to snatch some time for that too.

anyway enough bukbuk from me,i m goin to wrap up this post.more willl come after getting married:) trust me when i say i m getting married. one of you now may start dreaming all you know what.but for the sake of frienship….meri english kaaafi weak hai…anyways…i would like to declare that i m not an astrologer man.so let the buzz stop here.i m again feeling thirsty lets check where is coke.

Someone is serious

Please do it! I got stuck,that moment,my inner voice shaken my mind,you know i got shuddering,like the whole world attacked on Bhutan including Taliban and i was like-Chill,this is just a statement, why i m so concerned about such plain phrase like “please do it”.But then this is the beauty of being alone when you talk with your own self.And i do this often.Listening myself.

Some time back i was reading a Bestseller,though during the last 4-5 years i have nt been frequent with books.Though i love reading a lot anything…from an autobiography to a classic Mario Puzo to anything.I just enjoy.I m nt kind of who would read and then would love to make plans to follow those heavy words,ferocious assumptions, for me those stuff makes me what i donot want to b,so i just read it.Henceforth,while reading that, i guess after ending the two chapters in a row, i stretched my left arm for a bislery bottle to bottle my mind what was sounding quite heavy due to the kind of stuff the author had stuffed in those first two chapters.I guess some of you have been through such rocky mental state,when you study something, and you dont undertsand, you know how heavy you feel,and who knows better than me.i tell you no one knows.Those digital electronics! Poor IQ sucks man.

But now the crux of the climax, as i have mentioned above,i dnt get affected by what i read in the books.So nothing shattered me in the first two chapters, except that simple phrase-”please do it”.Then trust me,i wanted to smash a coconut on Author’s head, i wished, he would b alive in front me that moment for leaving me in such a puzzled situation.But then some wishes remain a wish only.You never fulfil it, like i missed proposing my 9th standard lady class teacher.

The author reached to “please do it” after inserting enough examples about great folks,how someone without being much qualified wrote an all time great bestseller(charles dickens) how kinght brothers started their mission from no where and many such examples you know what give you peace of mind.Doing the stuff you enjoy and then making enough money to lead a happy of course married life forever.

So what that statement said-Dont look left right,dont get fused from advices.Now point to b noted-i read that book 4 years back.may b that quote has some rocking, brilliant meanings may b it said something what i dint fathom,i know,may b i wont b able to fathom ever,may b my maid Anju Ji(maid ko bhi respect karo) would b able to tell me 100 more hidden sincere things about “please do it” what i seriously dislike to know.But what i understood and thought best for me is to crunch the small small bacterias running inside my mind,unfortunately only i m responsible for allowing them to flourish and to stop me whenver i wish to do something offbeat,so by crunching those worms of my mind, in the last 3-4 years….God it took so long…slow guy! I have learnt to follow what my “heart” says not mind.Thanks to this realisation.

My heart says-Anupam you wanna sit around split AC no office no Boss no deadlines, no pressure.You wanna b happy earning a little but with peace of mind.You wanna b happy “writing” articles books and making paltry income….right Anupam? And i say to my heart yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..i want.Then heart says- but dude you have everything just pep up your zest,throw the shackles of laziness, follow what i say,burn the years old wooden sticks of confusion,and just follow what i say.And heart knows what i want.

Enough serious man! Shit. Light is gone….but my heart says write more post is incomplete buddy….hey heart…dnt b so smart bring light please ya i want to write.Following you heart…dnt worry…!

PS: have a great 40th marriage anniversary to both of you.papa n mummy!

On the juke box:abb kya sikayat karen hum,kis ko kahe bewafa…..saanso ka kya hai pata:)

mein yahan hoon mein yahan hoon yahan hoon yahan….

Haan ji i have shamelessly stolen the song lyrics of the movie veer-zara for the title of this post.I was mulling for the last 10mins to insert some meaningful title but as all of you know i rarely put a title justifying my post because i often veer off from one context to another without mentioning.So chill,i can write a lot of things what has been flooding in the last one month including my job my writing things and my personal life.

But i donot want to bore myself really writing again and again the same stuff.And even now i m nt sure what i m goin to write.You know,when you b come sure of something that surity b comes your tool of boredom really.why to b sure of anything when life itself is nt warranted doesnt it make any sense? no tell me buddies really.

Just a few minutes ago my landlord personally informed me that there would b no water supply till 2am and rite now its 10;45,thank god i have already taken my night bath.And while telling me about that he mentioned me that b coz of big worms and some grubbiness inside the water tank,he had to clean the water tank,thank god he thought of immaculating the tank.

And very soon things would b different for me.i dnt mean i would b goin to office at 2am and would b slogging the door at 12 pm, i mean i would b living with my parents for a long time after a gap of almost 12 years.After leaving my home this is the first time so as soon as they discover my strange habits of sleeping bathing reading and all i guess i would try to settle all these for our benefits.

And these days i have been orkutting and i have found the someone i was searching for the last 4 years.you know, in the last 4 years i have made 4 accounts, deleted 3, wait,i dnt mean, i was afraid or i was nt comfortable there, to me such networking sites have the same importance what a saree would b for Rakhi Sawant really man,as far as my contacts are concerned i m very much limited,without being there im in touch with all my close buddies and girl friends,but yes there was someone,whom i was searching when ever i made my account, i was like-”kahi to hogi..usko pata to hoga about orkut…aur agar join karegi to sure she will search me” but all the time i got utterly dissapointed but recently when i lost all hopes of this world,the angel of my heydays arrived without me searching her,this is the beauty you know set the bird free.I know,this is nt a fair thing to write at this stage of life but chill man,nor its a crime also to let the feelings spread over this blog,after all i m an immature guy.

Aur abhi abhi mein ne jukebox pe started the song baazigar o baazigar,you see the still, me and she prancing around the trees.I m in the black half pant and she wore a skirt and a top which slides through her smooth shoulder and a hat which can fall off at every seconds.She giggles hitting my cheeks by her nails,oye kahi scratch ho gaya to? And i pull her shabby pony tail and an excitement to lay my head on her….? bhai kuch to sharam karo iss blog ko achhe achhe ghar ki bahu betiyan bhi read karti hain…and for the sake of “samazik maryada” i m truly handicapped to unravel this scene further.

Smoking is an injurious thing we all know since we arrived here but a nut like me has no care for such warnings,despite having some recent problems i m still doing it and if i really wish to have a family and gool matool kids i guess then i need to slow down the pace of smoking.what i m trying these days..

If by accident you got a chance to read my last post,then most of you have smelled that i tried to wash my hands in the writing field.But being a tremendously horrrible writer of course it was nt easy for me to get some good clients,but in the end i got some really good projects and i m washing my both hands with them.Though it demands a lot of time which i dnt have being lazy you know,but still the experience of doing something new and the thing you always wanted i guess truly gave me a lot of peace and satisfaction.

Ruko yaar,coke to peelon,yes, so after drinking the coke,i m back.And rite now i m seeing the simplicity of late night moon through the window,and i wish to fling myself around there in the blue of sky where me and Sohniye would sit and could sip a steamming cup of coffee.But oye,Sohniye to abhi so rahi hogi?? I mean, its really awesome to see this divine beauty of late night moon.When the stark clean sky fills the empty brazen earth by that soft white rays through moon which makes you so crazy that you b come ready to miss drinking coke:):)

Mujhe abhi aur likh ne ka mann kar raha hai.and the packet of lays lying on the bed looking at me like a cat wanting to snatch a bottle of milk from a kid.and i dnt wish to b that kid.so i have started crunching lays.

i m watching a movie very old one, name is “romance” remember poonam dhillon and kumar gaurav flick?.tum log sooo jaooo abb mein chala to watch that movie.

and i will come back to write another post here soon.

Keep reading me…..

august edition

~~ There is a big swanky shopping mall known as Vasant Square next to my place where i live.I mean,as soon as i step out from my flat,light a fag and before i start punting the butt i m at the shopping mall,i mean very near to my place.Auto bhi nahi lena yaar! Mood off hai mall chalo! Boss se daant khayi, mall chalo! Internet connection gayab ho gaya mall chalo! And i have to watch Love Aaj Kal,being in Delhi how can i miss this movie,a place where 14 years old gal talks about her boyfriend more than her school grades.That would b like a doctor in an operation theatre without gloves seriously man.

~~After four turbulent years in Delhi,i m feeling like a settled man with the urge of mein-settle-nahi-hona-chahta layers on his head.And with my new job i have gotten a nokia business phone.While i m yet to explore its multiple features,but it has everything except a Juice maker.But the most sporty feature is that the phone says the name of the caller,man thats interesting,yesterday when my friend who is commonly known as Don called me, i was like huh? Dawood called me chill me gaon walon~~~

~~I m staying here alone from a long time,no this is nt a news,i know,the news is i m goin to settle myself,you know this thing demands a lot of beauty parlour bills,kids math work,and all.The way things are running so fast i m sure my bachelor life would b ending very soon,what i dnt want.Kitna Manhoos mein! haha.

~~I know this is kind of girly.But i got a chance to watch “Splitsvilla” on Mtv.Man, who runs this shows? And what kinda gals would seriously love to do such shows, i m shocked,lost my faith in the dignity and class of these gals.Not new, i lost that long time back.I never thought gals could b so blunt uttering hindi gaalis with a fake smile,i never thought,my believe in the strenght and character of the woman of today could slip lower than my 4th semester mark sheet.Seriously.Its like all are ready made bitches.

~~ I m hitting songs these days,i mean i m harking till 2am.after a long gap,why these days i m doing things what i used to do during my heydays? Kuch to baat hai pakka!And i hope, my landlord’s family has an appreciation for music till wee hours especially his dog,who barks even at the slightest move,recently i dropped an empty packet of Kurkure,and he started bhoonking on me ceaselessly until landlady came and cooled the matter by telling him about me that once upon a time he was also like you,especially whenever a gal refused him in the past.

~~ And i know,i have bored all of you by writing a post like this,so m planning to add a sizzling video my choice.Have you heard of Sona Mahaptra? Her heart breaking song “bolo na kya hua”? its a kind of song which can take you to the himalays rite now with your first crush anytime,that much power it holds really folks.Very catchy,impeccable lyrics just a brilliant song.

~~~ And its my humblest of the humble request please write your name whenever you wish to hit my inner soul by writing comments here.and take it easy.

will b back: Sniff…!

And for the first time in a long time,yesterday night, while watching Dravid’s patience and flamboyance of Afridi for a second,i got enchanted, stood up on my bed,switched on the lights, made a lipton green label tea(piya hai kya?),enjoyed its last flavour with same enthusiasm what Afridi had shown after getting a sloppy Dhoni.So my point of writing the all above lines, is, i m feeling energetic, would b surely useful for all India associations of I-m-ready-to smash-you type folks to save the last remaining harmones of those species. Sniff…!

And you wouldnt trust, trust me i know, in this gap among trillion celestial qualities which i have,by the grace of God, i have added another feather in my cap(though where is cap?). I m b coming a great Cook.You know the most easiest and mindless thing to do is to cook.I have been cooking more than all the Servants of this country has ever cooked(wanna hire?).So ladies,relax,stop chopping nails and appreciate my this new quality with open arms.

and other things are goin well.of course busy but can easily manage a few seconds to type something here.So chill,and bhai log aur whoever, i dnt know,one of you left a comment here more dirtier than my socks? why man? With age some people lose their senses too i know but its too early man? dnt you mull so?whatever,chill,and for the first time in a long time again,now what? Sniff…i m getting fatter and fatter and before my waist would b come an issue for the Vandna Luthra club, my landlord’s youngest daughter(too pretty she is), i m mulling of jogging or something which could keep me in the race of b coming Mr.Ramgarh.

So, all the bill gates, vikram bhatts, and farhan akhtars and especially those upstarts who think(whatever you are telling, needs reality check time) reading this would understand one day one thing,how smart i m.Sniff…man, m sniffing too much, now will run to a chemist shop.

and i hear,there is a new realty show on TV about- “how rakhi would manage her kid in future” something like that,there will b a number of kids(what? are they orphan?)i mean, by all tv shows and kind of words she has been saying in public since she came around,i assume, if she would b come a good mother then i could deliver a baby.

anyways aajj mast chhutti hai,so m enjoying my sunday, b coz every day is nt sunday,so after this post what? Sniff…hey chemist shop man,first then i will think what to do now…

agree..?

There is a difference between a great writer and a popular writer.

diwali stuff

By now i guess Mrs Khurana’s make up would have disappeared,and Mr khurana’s as usual anger of having a bad looking wife has been returning on his wrinkled face. Beauty ends.Character lives.Hope Mr.Khurana would realise this before i meet Mrs Khurana in the next diwali.Anyways,the timing is perfect,to write something, something,to bring some fun in the environment, resulted post diwali night,the lull,and nothing could b more profitable and exciting than writing a post here.History says.

From the time, when i bought firecrackers till my dad’s bank balance looked as clean as Rakesh Roshan’s head.From the time,when by mistake,Mrs Jha’s sweet’s packet loaded with kaju-burfi(on the back of the cover with a “i miss you”) created an earth quake at my home,from the time,when my three consecutive rocket bombs made Mishra’s garden like a battle field.it may leave street dogs restless for the whole night.it may leave me to watch dil hai ke manta nahi thrice.I understand all these,i have been through all these,but trust me when i say,a year with out a Diwali is like enjoying Navratra but there are no girls around
you .Still, good, but no excitment.

A time to break away from clients,sales, and the direction in which my life is heading in, and rather an unusual moment when i secretly pick up the hot gulab jamun from puja ki thali before puja,and burnt my finger,still a scar on my shortest finger.

You smell Diwali is around the corner,when you see,ladies from age 15 to 75,start washing stuff from a spoon to all bed sheets,from windows to the bottom of sofa sets 3 weeks before.

The swapping of sweets with friends relatives is another domain lives upon recycling resources only a woman can possess-Mishra aunty gets kaju burfi given by Jha uncle.The mad angle packets from Sharmas gets a place in Saroja aunty’s house.

Firecrackers are an integral part of Diwali.Its all great.Unless your bestest of best neighbour’s most beautiful daughter’s skirt got burnt.And your mother takes it too seriously.

Knowing my nature,my mother’s view on use of firecrackers would b as hot as Bipasha’s legs.Really.So me being a great admirer of anything “hot” i planned to rocket some rocket this Diwali.

A day before Diwali i strolled upto my mother as she was standing in the kitchen,when six sharp knives were around here,seeing the surroundings,i thought to b a little chill,soft,and you know how to please a mother when you want a favour.I murmurmed-”mummy iss baar phaataka for te hain”.

Mummy-Chup rah!!yaad hai kaise tu ne Richa ka dupatta jala diya tha,bechaari bach gayi bas!

Me-Mummy chill,wo to mein ne jaan bhooj ke kiya tha!!

The permission was gained only when i told her that i would nt b jalaying anyone this time.Grown up maa.trust me.And marry a girl of her choice.Ladies sorry.

Note:- I have no idea why the second rocket yesterday night jumped on Mrs Juneja’s shoulder.Chill.Mrs Junejas later came and mutttered this-kya hua aunty abhi nai forega phataka to kab? Her ways of looking at things in an extremely positive ways has made me so positive that later in the night i dreamt of dancing with her 27 years old beti.

The aarti thing is another noisy affair at home.With the selective prayers singing led by my father,who considers himself just after K.L. sehgal.My mother who sits just next to him during that and closed her eyes thinking of my father(husband comes before God in india) and killed me after yelling this-tu aayega ya nai,ya smoke kar raha hai,when my father is around me.Chill.

Anyways, need to take my lunch its already 3pm.and i hope by next diwali you would b reading me somewhere else.

.

Just a post

So i need to wake up to the astringent fact of life.Choosing a life partner.Without smashing your mother’s years affection.Convincing your parents without being selfish.Toughest job and it demands maturity which i seriously lack.And i dnt grumble too.Chill.This is a decision as enormous as Gopal Das tower Connaught place Delhi.Appreciate my humor even in this tough situation what life throws.And a girl who would b happy watching my scabrous table manners.Eating with both hands even in a 5 star hotel.
And with all this, a jerky internet connection along with whimsical milieu of Delhi has forced me to doodle here without a tinge of worry what anyone of you would fathom out of this blog.Seriously. I just wish rite now to ring up to God ji and say-”plz get me back to age 25″.

And this year, my parents actually bought birthday cake for me.Knowing the truth that their jerky only youngest among all son is celebrating his last b day before marriage.Glowing candles,loved ones clapping hands,and stuffing pieces of cake one by one into my mouth made me to realise how pure and selfless they are.Lynch your emotions you emotional fool,a part of me said to me.Confused i m.Warranted.So ladies,wake up,still some of you have time to pass the application,those who have been appreciating my hogwash humor,through offlines,one liner mails and through this blog too.Married ones sorry.Kidding.Chal ja na.badi aayi hai.

By the way if you have moved by the content written above.Please dnt forget to remember me at least once in a 3 months….no? I will kill you.

But if i look back at the over all stuff, i mull, i need to bring some balance in my life.I need to ask myself some questions regarding the questions hovering over my head what i have flashed in the first paragraph in this post.

Writing good comments on my blog,making me happy and telling me always to b a person what i never was,giggling on my non-sense jokes and accepting me in the way i m.I whole heartedly appreciate.But the difference between a girl friend and a would-b wife is as massive as a jupiter.A cupboard filled with 100plus gold flakes packets,unless my maid tells me-”bhaiya kachre wale ko de do abb”.And my socks which can wake up a Kumbhkaran at 3am during chilly december nights is something i need to remind myself.After 2 years my wife says to herself-”how could i marry this nut?”

People mull,oh getting into top a college, being a teen so flummoxing, but i feel, choosing a girl forever is the most confusing thing in the world.Pardon my dear.See the title.

You know,it changes the way you think.You realise that marriage kids and wife’s expensive nature scruffy beauty parlor bills may b nearer than you think.

If you think,oh this guy is gone, weird you need to smell my socks.

But the central part of this part is-You do it your way.Clear up your mind.And you know you cant find a guy in this world more paasitive than me,clap for this attribute please.So just chill.

Chill maaaaaaaaaarooo yaroon,i m getting back for some cigarette a packet of butter,half kg onion and a yellow packet in which you find snakes like stuff.Guess what? ….Maggi yaar? Remember?

Chillwaaa and all izz well

The unexpected egress, when i was high on chuckling almost every night on his in born trait of making a saint whose beard dangles upto his knee fully white to forget the Gayatri mantra.So you can imagine what kinda impact he could leave on a guy like me.After chopping vegetables for the dinner,out of pristine curiosity,i smsed my sister to let the confusion vanish sooner, so i can spend coming days enjoying my night with his facial expressions,his ways of making things simpler and tenseless.But when i got my sister’s reply i was like-Huh.Shut up.you are growing older,i m sure,your mind works slower than a wounded elephant’s walk really.This is not possible.And somemore lines i smsed one by one.You know,i get crazy faster the speed of light.By the way what is the speed of light? bolo?Ok.forget the speed of light,come back to sms and the whole thing which has been my raaj of laughing every night.Now,dnt tell you crazy female readers of my blog,samajh gayi i got it.I m talking about my sapno ka saudagar, my hero, my kidney too,a certain comedian.Raju shrivastav.in other words my Chillwaaaa.Hoooooooo. Once again my belief in the power of comedy got routed after his egress from Big Boss3.Do they really listen to the country people? Anyone harking?:) or they take decisions on their own?i doubt.what type of hearts can go against him?Oh you know ‘serious’ type souls.But yaar,if you really wanted someone to outcast from the house,there were sea of options.why that comedian?
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Earlier this day my maid i mean my kaamwali quit the job.So my mother’s heart beat at present runs slightly faster than not speed of light but faster than my blinking of eyes after watching Mahima Choudhary in Pardes for the first time really.And i cant help too.Its a crisis time at my home.

And these days i m getting lot of spam mails.Recently, i got an email with the subject line-”a blue pill can bring luck to your personal life”.Later in the day i forwarded that mail to my colleague who is married actually after adding a line from my side-”hey chipku this is for u try:)”.Two days later i heard he is on leave.And honyemoooning somewhere in Afghanistan.koi aur jagah nahi mila kya. thank God, he has actually ordered them.

Why do politicians always cry over issues on which a normal human being can keep mum for their entire life?Are they working on their communication skills? or do they expect that terrorists would b fool enough to drop their visiting cards after every bomb blast?or they are hiding under their dining tables and they bend themselves a bit and shout-ye lo mein ne paakad liya headley ko.saala aamreca ja raha tha.FBI ki @#$%.Chill.

Without appearing very close to Shahid kapur, i m amazed by the fact,how girls can get captivated, mesmerized by him?Some time back when i was watching 12th(12th hi thaa na yaar?) Rajiv Ghandhi Awards ceremony, he looked like a victim of some childhood trouble which happpenes if you dnt get proper tika on time really.

And after serious request from my mother to watch 3 Idiots, i m all geared up to watch that movie.yesterday light when she called up then:-

Me:Hello maa how r you?(actually i was talking to someone)
She: where do u live?called up you 2 times earlier you dint pick.

Me:chill maa,i was playing with gas cylinder.
She:chup rah. how is ur job?

Me:fine maa,jst getting extra work.so i need to b in the office for around 12 hours.pretty bad.but i m enjoying.ok chill.you tell how is papa?

she:he is fine.and you know i was reading the review of 3Idiots somewhere.you must watch this movie.and it is based on Chetan Bhagat’s novel.

Not a good thing to listen about such cheap books from your mother.but then, only your mother knows you better than others in the world.

Me:Wow! mummy.so sweet.how do you know so much? nice progress.you too watch.or come Delhi together we wil chill the 3 Idiots…no?

she:first you watch and give me feedback.and my joy will b double.

Me:sure i will.do u read chetan bhagat these days?

she:ya,i read when i was with you.he writes simple.

But after listening such praise for someone, the crap writer inside of me woke up suddenly and i wanted to end the call.Kidding.

Me:ok maa,i need to take my dinner.have you taken?
she:ok tell then.take ur dinner and pick the calls sooner than you do.bye goodnnight.

Once again folks, dnt consider me like someone else i m nt i know.i need 1000 stitches on my forehead to forget who i was and who i m.no difference.you know,life gives you something but it charges something bigger in return which unfortunately we realise quite later only.

And just now Mahela smashed the ball out of the park and now he is gone on next ball.life.man’s destiny and woman’s character both are very capricious.and with this i m ending this post.but i miss my chillwaaa.comedy king.apna Raju.

see u.akru.huh.

new year edition

Like any other well disciplined guy,nt so successful,but yet can vaunt about himself on his blogs,crap me.I dash to work every day.AC cab.98.3FM,Radio Mirchi is smiting my ears.As usual, the Driver(a Bihari) crunches Khaini and offers me too,unless i stare on him angrily what makes him a deaf forever,at least for an hour.You ass,dnt you see Miss Maria?

It takes me around an hour to reach my office,the precious time in the cab,in which i meticulously plan how to fool my Boss today,which songs i would listen today, long list.See, how careless i m at my work.Ouch,and in this time period,watching sea of cars,bikes,street dogs,dingy cows ,their equally dingy kids too.Open potholes,horrible.And the eyes are always on Traffic signals.Traffic Jams.

Now if the light is red,it is a surely void stage of life.Like ones, you witness in side the lift,bathroom,or a bad date.When you just wait, till it gets over.You count your pin card number,you memorize the quote you find behind the trucks,you do all these futile things to get over from this period.Wait,i often check my hair in the rear mirror view.though this is once again a girly thing to do.But i do this.Or like any other vexing fellow you can stare at other people,waiting in their cars, confused more than me,hurried more than a marathon runner.And i love staring on them.

Ladies first.i know kalpana chawla went to space and sunita williams too.dnt tell me.we appreciate them too really.But excuse me,for i mince from my personal experience.Women are terrible drivers.Either they drive slow enough to make Atal Bihari Vajpayee a horse,or they drive so fast like they have a friend on the back seat who is goin to deliver a baby within 3seconds.
They spend their waiting time,polishing lips,combing ,and staring on guys like me whether anyone watches them or not.Attention,pretty shameful.Smart, sassy, young Delhi gals with their boyfriends(who doesnt these days? contact me) may manage to smite her bf’s cheeks.and can deliver worms for the society.if you want happy life.just stay away from them.Now dnt get excited and inform all these to national commission of women chief.i m a highly connected chap,remember.

Now “aamir baap ka bigraa aulaad”.No point working.No point trying something on his own.Just wake up at 12.Ramu kaka jumps over from the kitchen and spreads kaju-burfi along with big big apples plus a fresh amol butter.But dude loves wine only.that kinda chap.The sort which comes out from a big car mostly esteem honda city,tattooed arms,biceps big enough to forget dara singh,on the back of windshield stickers which say-’speed dragon’/party all the time/only fun etc.and other lines with similar meanings.Vulgar punjabi music is adding the fuel in the scene.And finding them at the traffic signals on my way to office is as easy as finding a criminal at Muzaffarpur.
Now like me-who are in their late 20s or just entered in their 30s.who always cheated in their exams.but yet managed to grab good jobs.with top companies.confused but yet very happy.they often appear cool,they dnt have that miffed look you see in the corporate world,they are nt senior managers yet.or VP.yet.they will b wait.Incidently i belong to this group.you have seen all these adjectives above.

You see,looking at them at the traffic signals…waiting for the green light.oye sohniye “green”?:)Different people.Different feelings.Different smiles.Stuff above is as misplaced as my IIT-JEE chemistry paper in which i painted the entire copy by a red sketch pen.and now me writing this blog. but now i need to see the match.lets see what my yuvi would do today.just a check.

get well soon:u B.D.

“Just Because you want to b like someone else,you cant b come like someone else”!Some people are gifted!

Above lines are harsh but v simple in the meaning.Dear ‘readers’ fathom the depth what i meant when i say that!

Will b back soon,cant i keep myself away from here,goin to increase the frequency so type the url http://mylifewithmyself.wordpress.com as often as you brush your teeth.

@B.D.get well soon,hope you are recovering faster now…Bantu will b back v soon…with lot of posts here(this much i can do for you).Thanks to you.Miss u.
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when i b come emotional,it doesnt mean,i dnt know how to fight:)

@Female frnds,before some of you would spill something hot on your laps after reading a ‘miss u’ in this post you would b as confused as a dog in a rock show,i have seen 30 holis and deewalis and 1 earth quake also,people come and go but some stay with you always!this ‘miss you’ is for that special!
Chill yaaronnnnnnn,i need 16 art movies back to back, to write something serious,will b back in as usual style and with my crap grammar v soon!

just typing…

I m just typing as the title says,so dnt reckon anything prudent here,and to b honest,which i seldom been since +2,i rarely write anything sensible.So just chill.Today in the morning when i woke up after a miss call from someone and then after hurling the blanket suddenly rushed towards the door,and when i opened it,i saw all gloomy sky.Nippy wind was hitting the rubber plants,and me shivering like a puppy who got soaked in the cold bathtub(i was in jockey and a tee-shirt just).Terrible.Dry leaves are falling from the different branches of the rubber plants,and you fathom then that weather is changing.Right? Abbee bol na?

Enough about zaalim cold.And i dnt know, but i assume, that if you have been reading this blog for sometime,then you can trust me when i say,that, i m turning out as a highly skilled cook.What actually has made my sisters to mull something like-”what? bantu cooks?i cant believe”.When i say this it doesnt mean that they dnt know me or i was an orphan and Dr.B.Jha and J.Jha found me near the roadside 30 years back.The point is sometimes even people close to you,would nt b able to know your hidden qualities.Kitna practical hoon mein note karo.Abbe kar na.

And if i m typing something here it means i m listening songs too.After oxygen i need music,a packet of cigarette and full stomach.So right now me harking a song from the movie ‘Agnisakshi’.

A light song.(Dekha tuze mein ne jab se..).smooth. which hits my childish trait and asks to me very carefully-’how are you Anupam’? With myself lost in the ocean of promises,which i broke,without a why.But still,like a simple pendulam every song has ups and downs, so from the ocean of shattered promises, this song transfers me to the strength of a seasoned timber and tells me-’its ok.i know you very well’.And then me light a cigarette.Whoooaaaa.Enough about song too.

But seriously man,i really get affected from songs,i mean,it makes me to feel that ‘i met some wonderful people in my life’.Though given my writing skills i guess i would never b able to put those times into words easily.Shit.But i will try.Not confident.But positive.

And in the last one and half months,we have seen Raju hiranis, thackreys,khans.Was it just a publicity stunt or something more than that i dnt know.But it was silly.It is terribly dazing to come across such serials without shootings.Unthinkable.But its goin on.Crap.leave it.

And i didnt watch 3 idiots.Certain things need to b enjoyed only when you want to enjoy.But when i have so much other beautiful things around me, where is the time to spend on something which is copied and fabricated only for impressionable youth and for their triply impressionable parents.So, me being neither both had no chance to watch that movie.

Whether you believe me or nt i dnt know but ripley’s part is over, since june 2009,i m working without a break.Non-stop.Thinking for a holiday dnt know where to go.Let me think….till the next post…slow guy Chiku.Understand.

Gud aftre noon :)

Kitna serious ho ke blog read kar te ho.itna serious hoke agar ‘school’ mein english ki padhai ki hoti to oxford mein hote:)

what after blog…..?…

This question has been inside of me since 2005.I knew that it could take me around 7-8 years of dedication and serious writing to make a living out of writing.

It was long time back just during 3rd semester something inside of me revolted me again n again with a question like-”i dnt enjoy this thing any more..n…i wll b doing this for the rest of my life??This is nt the right choice baby:)”

But like any other chap…i too continued,sometimes messed up sometimes proved my self sharper than others.But that feeling of not enjoying this thing remained.

One’s *success* shoudnt b judged by being a part of “hot” industry or by doing something which makes others like-”ahh good company nice future”.Instead,one’s inner love for something which is nt visible but surely lives inside of him.

Very well i m aware of the fact that till now i have nt kept my own promise, i made to myself.Because a ground work is vital before building a mansion.Even when you are gifted with your style,you make mistakes.You learn only when you are nt afraid of falling.So this blog happened and two earlier blogs too.

Writing is what i truly enjoy.Its nt about being better than anyone.But being better than my own previous self.Of course,there were times when i sat down and typed here randomly,words came into my mind without even thinking about it even for a moment,and thats when i enjoy.Effortlessly.

But when you write a Novel.Story is totally different.Nt different b coz after sometime it will b in public,but b coz thats ur dream.It may b a flop.It happens, but you did.And then another…you will learn from the mistakes you made while writing the ‘first’ book!! Not afraid of falling? Remember?

Its not a cake walk like writing a post here i know very well.But believe me in 2005 i was afraid of writing a blog even:).I dnt believe in talent much,i believe in something what you *enjoy*!

So i m enjoying writing a “crap”.No no not my story,just a fiction.It can take me 3 years to finish or 6 months.No hurry at all.Uncertainty is the force which drives me to make my life certain.

Thanks a lot to all of you for bearing me.Thanks a bunch of marigold too.Helloo,dnt send butterflies with marigold,already enough inside my stomach.Going to take my lunch.

And i will b writing this blog like before.No change.With my crap grammar:)
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Ye Koi Farhan akhtar ki movie nahi hai, my “rich”,”abnormally sharp”, dear readers! This is just my life spanning with my thoughts!So if anyone of you feel uncomfortable,can surely ignore my blog.I will b happier.Guaranteed.

huh…

The best and most beautiful things in the world, cannt b seen or even touched-they must b felt with the heart.

title will come once i finish writing the post

Shocked.Still those words have managed to give you sleepless nights.Counting the mistakes i make here.Discussing about me with others.Sigh.But now, as i sit down and trying to grab a half bottle of Nimbooz and especially a sweet memory once a familiar sight of me has told me last night(do i lie? oye Sohniye bol na) this:-”Anu, life and people both r unfair,you carry on”!And being the most intractable fellow,it is easier to move a trunk filled with all blankets you bought ever,but intentionally making me to do something is always tougher.Sigh.So i m writing the stuff what i have flashed in the last post.Whoaaaaaaaaaa. Its real fun.but,hey,wait,you sound very careful. Teri watt laga donga mein wait:)

Last saturday when Sameera Reddy(south indian itne hot kyon hote hain?) was mincing with Sameer Kochhar before the match for a moment i forgot that apart from my work(which i always take very lightly) my Sohniye(i take you seriously yaar:)) i have a family also in which there is a gem who adds happiness in my life by offering me favours when all the rest of family members pick up knives and wishing to uproot my hair.I mean my mummy.And when she grumbled that you are getting busy and you dnt have time for me.I jumped from the bed looked around on the bed for the remote to kill Sameera Reddy along with all chhote chhote kadpe pehne wali ladies.Wobbling out of sheer responsibility like a father whose daughter’s marriage got finilised after 7 years of searching(why daughters r still a big liability?),i donned myself in black jeans and a deep red tee shirt and how can i forget my spec(my hall mark since class 8th).No more explanation, i just mean sometimes we get so busy with things around us that we escape stuff we enjoy most.Silly.Very silly.Screw me mummy anytime.

And you smell by now after reading the post that i m totally immersed myself in the IPL.Apart from cheergirls what excites me most is you know but still i want to say,(abbee mera blog hai jo mann wo likhonga.huh).Sourav Ganguly’s batting.Though chances of making into semi final of KKR is as strong as me facing 8 tall guys especially when i m in an emotional mood.whatever chill,hope is the last weapon along with Juhi’s smile, who has seen future by the way.so me hoping and waiting from dada to thrash Dhonis sachinss kumbles but hey wait not warne.Shane warne is my another hero.

And why this certain cricket presenter Mandia Bedi wears tops which makes her more as a strip teaser than an anchor??As far as her ken is concerned about cricket,i m sure she should get in touch with me else you know anytime i can b the anchor asking to her this:-mandira ji app aise aise kadpe kyon pehen te ho?(of course in english yaar).

At present, i look to b tackling life pretty ok.Ek dum balanced.earning decently(where is the limit?) and without doing anything stupid which would baffle my mummy(or narcotics department),have a great family,and i m a good cook.all these qualities what any ‘shy’ ‘not so bright girl’ would love to have in their hubbies.Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Being a boorish, brooding over past is something too stupid to brood over.kaisi english hai meri huh.But when i see the bottom of the surface behind all this i m still sauntering with no idea of my life.the only purpose is to have more bank balance.kitna serious ho gaya mein ghanta serious.

I m told nt to take these things seriously.i m told to take a decision as soon as possible.i m also told to forgive people rather than waiting from them to forget you.They will nt forget me.And i dnt know when i wll forget them.but life goes on and i live this life with a hope.And please dnt try to make a mountain out of a mole hill as far as this blog is concerned.your chances of getting publihshed(spelling mistake yaar) in the Forbes would b more than me dating a Sonia Ghandhi.

Chalo bhai log me would b spewing these it never stops.I NEVER TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY.Except Mandira Bedi:)

random everything

A Place where no one judges me.A place where no one has the time to check how many times i woo/get desperate/kidnap/eat girls by unleashing my desires on my blog.No one has the desire to check how many times i lie.No one judges me if i m shorter than my maid’s 13 years old daughter.No one judges me if my IQ matches with Rakhi Sawant. Thats home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I m very tired rite now.Just before hitting this post i was flirting with Sonu.I told her that i m trying.She told me its ok.I m deadly hungry dnt want to cook anything.I will go downstairs alone and have a cup of tea, dnt wanna eat anything.And its all right much better than asking a baby to sit on a camel.Hope i will find something eatable there too.lets c. but i want to write also…
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i talked to my sister a couple of days ago.I asked her how she was.She told me she was feeling a bit upset.I told her i m coming.chill it.she said-shut up.stay where you are.you dumb.i didnt call her after that.

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There is some serious problem with yahoo messenger.Today when from the office i tried to chat with someone(a male).Yahoo repeatedly asked to me for password and a correct login id.My friend is looking for a suitable match.To my utter amazement he got slapped in a crowded mall.shit.He is broken now.Miffed more than a Shashi tharoor.My YM got stuck in the middle.He mulls i have went away without even telling him.You cant please every one around you.Fools try to please all.i m nt.so i logged off happily.me a topper.believe me.
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For the last 4 days i have been hearing a lot about corruption in the IPL.nothing new.India is the most corrupt country in the world.Bravo Modi.I understood all these after reading a lot and yet i m reading,partly because my IQ level requires that i need to read a thing many times to fathom it.and partly because reading it helps me to keep my perspective in place.
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And today i ended one relationship.i need to face myself without being egotist.I hope she will forget me soon.

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I dnt like arguments at all.in the office someone told me you write crap.your writing dreams will get vanish sooner than a rainbow.I told her i m ready for it.but pleasee dnt argue anymore.actually she wanted to have a cup of coffee with me what i refused.i m no shit.
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i dnt like my boss at all at my office.And i can easily visualize his UK accent ” you dumb” when are you goin to submit that report?while i stand sincerely and mincing something to prevent an urgent firing from the job.And to protect myself i would love to do a little rebel act then,and come up with a bestseller called-” i wll kidnap ur daughter if you fire me from the job”.

And now i want to end this post.i m hungry.you send me your dinner please.oye gaon walon…send na

On the juke box:-ek saajan chahiye singaar keliye…(girl says nt me)

evening show

Again i want to write.what happened to me? Actually,only in the february i had planned that no matter how much i would b juggling between my work and personal life,it should nt affect my writing frequency.But then, you know things between me and cheergirls always have been so friendly since 1st IPL that i could nt manage to hurt them(If you dnt fathom the sort of analogies i put here or you find it totally bunkum, you find it Bronte) i cant help.Being exactly to the point has never been my cup of coffee.Anyways,notwithstanding, that i wrote some posts here.But now as the cheergirls have disappeared to some alien land what has given me enough time to write here as much as possible.Practice makes a man perfect.Not a woman.Sad.I dnt say.They say.So m practicing folks.

Talking about what i wrote in the past here, would b as interesting to me as a WWF wrestler’s interest in a Miss world Beauty contest.And honestly, i tell you, trust me, i forget things easily especially what i write here.And i m still not sure what me goin to write, shit.

Some times thoughts come to your mind without a strain on your head.Like an intellectual statement from my father which i always forget,pooor memory, but when the dark clouds dance over my head,me without taking any stress,accept such wisdoms and then start talking to him.Perhaps the only person in the world with whom i always interact high funda stuff. Usually i keep mum, you know,how smart i m when it comes to big things.

Normally our conversation travels from household things to IPL[(nt cheer girls:)] to my habit of goin to office without shaving.My mothers love for me what according to him is the only reason of me nt being able to find a match still..Wait, i talk to him about ‘writing’ also.Samjha Na.And an ant can feel nattier in front of an elephant more than me swapping words on writing with him.Seriously sister.I mean,how can i tell him, you know papa-someone left a comment on my blog telling me that your writing style is ‘unmatchable’.And he drops the cup of tea on the times of india newspaper and mummy comes up with a high tone and says-’kya faltu ka baat karte rahte hain.you cant even tackle a cup’.And me out of my extreme stupidity would stand up seriously and say-mummy you go, this is something beyond ur level.And then she due to lack of anything, killing instruments around here, would yell-’jada smart mat samjho…me too masters in hindi and patna university topper that too in late sixties.huh’.Chopping this high funda stuff now.hope you get the idea of my interactions with my father.i love it too much.More then cheergirls, i tell you.

You know i love songs.If there is anything which makes me to forget everything without a smash on the head with a hammer,its the song ‘mein yahan hoon yahan from veer-zara’.The more i see the i more confuse,you know now the reason behind all my past sins since 2004 october.after having experienced whatever i have,from the pain of losing someone to the smile of a stranger,from the time of having given someone a miss call to the horror of her mother picking up the call and calling me back,i have felt one thing.that i should nt ponder over about whats beyond my reach.

It is only my own expectation which hurt me.may b how to copy chetan bhagat’s writing.Kidding.may b how to convice a stranger that i m nt as funny as you mull.etc.

by the way,papa is calling me.hmmmmmmm.let me go now.i wll b back soon.with a lot of beautiful stuff here.so keep reading!

Enter title here

The frequency of me writing posts here has been mounting for the last one month,and before India would lose another match and then i would start firing words on my father about Dhoni and his leadership skills, i thought better i invigorate my mood by interpolating words here.Sahi kiya na? Abbee bol na.

Seriously sister, what has happened to Dhoni i dnt know,if you know,let me know by inserting a comment really.I mean,its like,you know all the answers of all the questions yet you want to flunk your exams.And the most startling aspect of the last two matches is even after winning the toss,calling the opposition to bat first.Though i didnt watch the last match with west indies from the starting.I was on my way from Noida to Vasant Kunj, and when i glued my eyes on TV, and came to know that again after winning the toss,Dhoni has invited the opposition,then i wanted to have an iron rod in my right hand to bash his forehead,seriously.Being positive always has always been my forte you know so m chomping this frustration and m wishing today with sri lanka he will nt repeat the same.Else i would replace Nasser Hussain in the post match presentation today and instead asking anything about match i would ask to Dhoni this:-’abbee kaha rahta hai,Marijuana marta hai kya’! Gals,if you dnt know what this Marijuana thing is-let me explain in one line-’it takes you to the world of illusions:)’.Dnt try.

And sometime back i was at my sisters place after a gap 3 years despite being in Delhi,i didnt meet her.And i was like-’oh you know,i was so busy meeting with clients from Australia,Britain and Somalia,or i was so occupied with my coochie coochie female friends,fishing with them in the bag of my stupid emotions all the time,or whatever.But i realised,when i faced her,that they are the people who forgive me always,without hiring a spy behind me.chill yaar.By the way,i gifted her a beautiful sari which costs around 3k,nt lying yaar(those who mull that m showing off,please shut your eyes).The talk what started from ‘you so lost in your world’ ended with her hand on my head with a smile affectionate enough to make all affection-driven bollywood movies a shit and she said this:-time has come,find a girl! Sisters are important.we normally dnt realise how precious they are .talking about wives,girl friends all the time, but sisters are best friends.Uiiii maaaa,getting emotional.

And now kuch coochie coochie baatein ho jaye.i some time back got in touch with Maggi(blast ho gaya ji). Normally when i talk to someone after a gap especially with those with whom i had shared my pin card number,i react like-’oyeee uu kalmohi it ne din baad’.But this time i acted like a shah rukh is meeting a kajol in KKHH after years of separation.When the number is unkown on my cell is twinkling like a cawing crow, usually i dnt pick,so when i saw her number which was unknown for me,i thought who the shit is man that too when i m busy cooking chicken with my mummy in the kitchen.But she insisted to me to pick and attend calls and like a clueless back bencher writing his digital electronics paper i swaggered up to the dining table and picked the call and then:-

Me:-yes who is this( a girls voice is always dangerous when you are looking for a match)

she:-can i talk to Anupam?

Asking from Anupam about Anupam?!why do these gals prefer to b a saint when they know i m nt.huh.I was mulling,who is this,do i know her,for the last 3 years,only 3-4 females are, with whom i have been talking on phone.who is this?

Me;-yes Anupam is speaking,who r u?(knowing my mother is just 1m meter away ,i kept my tone as low as Sameera reddy’s skirt)

She:-how r u n all?

why on earth someone would b interested in asking about ‘all’?She must b someone from my stupid days.But at the back of my mind i knew she would b maaggi,but ki karee paaji mummy is just 1m meter so i extended my acting session for another 1min and moved to the balcony.How comfortable you feel when you escape such situations, and for the first time i thanked my landlord for giving me this balcony. So dnt buy a flat with out a balcony.useless.

By the way….i have to go now for a walk.Uiiiii maaa.kya socha type kar donga kya saari baatein.huh.

Baba title kya karon mein??

Do you remember that sight when two bewitching females pitching words on each other, after, one of them has discovered that the guy with whom she had thought to tie the knot(or still mulling) has been playing eye to eye game with one of her best friends?And then instead asking anything from the culprit, out of the fear of losing him forever.She charges her battery of ego and starts washing the layer of insidious vapour laying on in front of her eyes by accusing her best friend.Sigh man.

And before all of you spend your time pondering over who the guy is,i for the sake of my own personal beautiful life would declare that i m nt that guy.So just chill,take a sip of bru instant coffee which you have nt taken after reading the above lines.But i tell you such things are so common more than your dimples when you laugh.

Last weekend while watching bindaas tv(uuiii maa mein bhi dekhon gi) my eyes got stuck on a serial about which i heard in the past but never watched.Oh mein samajh gayi,one of you would shout now..no?i m yakking about ‘emotional attyachar’.Anyways, why such serials are flashing so openly?Where the anchor invites a guy or gal to check loyality of his/her partner. i m lost.really.are they in love?If yes then please call a mental doctor my rock solid belief in this thing and most importantly my years hard work of understanding a female’s romantic side in which i m damn good,believe me,whooooaaaa, would get tarnished what i dnt want till my last breathe.Jaaago shy girls please.Leave this crap topic for marketing people.

Back to life.The sharpness of a knife after hotting it for 10mins would b lesser than the sort of words i m bearing these days from my mummy.I mean,i walk up to the kitchen,she watches my steps,i dress up for office,she orders,’ dnt forget to spray perfume’,i come back,enter into the bedroom like a boss and the moment i put aside the silky curtain and my shoe touches the creamy marveled floor,she shouts’ ‘ what happened to you, you forgot all the disciplines you had before leaving home’.God, m i nt what i was?But good for me.So you see how nonchalant i have b come.B clean and keep things around you more clean than you are.thats the message for all of us.else who knws may b one day my mother would put me inside that polythene bag which carries stuff as useless as me for my writing dreams(pat me, abbbe kar na bronte) and she tells the kachra picker to lift the bag carefully b coz it carries one big dead rat(given my height,rat is the only option).

And in the last post i mentioned about Maggi and i wrote something what has b come an earth-shattering issue for some of you.My dear ones,trust me,sometimes you write only b coz you dnt have that thing,b coz a foggy sight of a life demands a little bit of fun to see the life more clearly.B funny and write! Writing looks easy then.And before maggi would kill me(confused ho gaye na) with a line which always starts from-u motuuuuuuuuu.i guess i should stop now.I have no plans to b inside the polythene bag that too before marriage.Mummy is calling..its dinner time folks see u.good night, sleep tight!
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blog minus july

Yes its been exactly two months since i danced words here.And over the last two months what is responsible for this long break is nt something like-oh you know i was busy,eating all the technical fundas spewed on me by my operation manager or sauna belt(note karo kitna serious hoon main regarding my figure)which i bought after my sisters warned me this-’bantu do something now,else Messi will kick you soon’ or i was helping my sonam kapur(kapur girls are brave man!) to study well in abroad(australians r like dog).Coming to the point,let me b a bit honest,now, busy i was with …what?huh.why would i write that on my blog.Arree arre aap log to bass ander hi ghoos jate ho blog ke.

Jokes apart serious now really…i tried to come back and i do cotton on how you feel when you dnt find anything on your favorite blogger’s blog for two months,but we have learnt or if nt learnt then at least we keep up our heart beats as normal as me watching the last scene of a romantic comedy. we try, i know, giving time to the author to get peace and write.But at times we do get vexed, badi bhav khaati hai kalmoohi.Writers need peace of mind to write.But oye nt in my case i m nt a writer yaar,by the way i need only songs.

These days there two things which i have been loving.One is Ghee another one is waether in Delhi.Lets first hit about the Ghee thing.I guess you people cotton on what Ghee is, if nt then sms me anytime(nt after 11 in night nt before 7pm).

Back to Ghee.As i perch my butt on the couch,folding the right sleeves,took one loud burp,descrying fried bhindis,aaloo(love aalo too much),slightly burnt gobi,we Biharis prefer variety when we eat(someone told me sometime back this-’bihari log bahut khatee hain,next weekend i took her to pizza hut forced her to eat 3 pizzas she is suffering from serious stomach problem dnt take this sort of pangas with me plz,i do take revenge always remember may b when you forget)Kidding dude.So while i descry all these,mummy comes up with a bowl half filled with hot hot ghee and pours on the rice.It crawls as slowly as a woman in her 8th month of pregnancy,spattering on the plate,me out of my childish habits,without waiting it to get melt fully.I start doodling my fingers like a crazy dog eating a piece of meat,it is when mummy warns me to wait for 2mins,like we saw in the maggi ad,i look at the half naked lindsay lohan in the TOI.And this Ghee thing has been a routine for the last 4 months.No wonder i need sauna belt and before kids call me uncle or half daddy(adha baap)i m serious about my looks.abhi photo lagata hoon mein.

Okay now come back to milieu here.Walking in the rain,getting drenched,taking out a packet of cigarette from the back pocket,lighting it only when i see a beautiful woman,and hurling the smoke just in front of her nose.These things are in my veins seriously sister log(kitna badmaash hoon mein).Though the last mentioned thing now i have stopped doing but i enjoy rain a lot. And this time here in delhi,its been raining on a regular basis.Its like i m in the car going for shopping to cp and in the middle,dark clouds blanket the blue sky, as soon as it starts showering,i feel the smell coming from the dusts,i request the driver-bhaiya aap muze yahi chhod do.shopping baad mein kar longa::)and i did this last weekend.Sorry Sohniye.

Let me now spit gutka and i guess i need to take my lunch,no bath today and i wll watch my Sonam Kapur on line on gmail::)

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@Jiya(maggi),If you read this then happy married life to you:)! Good friends are like stars…may b far away from you,you dnt get the chance to see them always:) but you know they are there always:) So cheer up and enjoy life ahead!

My darling readers above lines are nt goin to create any Tsunami or Katrina in my life…its just a plain wish to a close friend,who eventually cheated thousands from my wallet.Silly.Kidding!I will b back soon!

a post is coming

Aley aley aley.Blog hai mein kalunga na.Writer Ji.:)chalo m getting busy with work and mainly with my family after a long time i m with them(oh earlier i was in Tihar Jail).Believe me.And before anyone gets heart broken,by nt seeing me here for a long time,i promise, that i would b back and i would help him/her to reach Apollo, Fortis and kitne saare hospital hain yaarooonn as soon as possible.So just chill.

The moment i get time or i feel bored from my life.i wll come back here.For now its great,i see my blog n i titter and my mother asks:-’kya hai yahan pe’? And i turn my neck,again titter a bit more than the earlier one and say:-mummy i was alone earlier,so in free time i did this thing,just time pass’.Ok, So no more pages from me now why i dnt get time to write.But i promise that i wll try!

lets check whats up now in d match!

coming wait(good news is coming)

Really, i m snapping away from here as life progresses, and dnt knw i seriously man, whether its something like ‘bloggingly handicapped’ or some serious dent inside my head what irks me to come back and write here!

Reason i splashed in the last post is as true as Bihari people’s unflinching trust in Shri Nitish Kumar.Okay?But still if you want to c me like before here,i need time to clean up the dirts got accumulated here on my blog how you know.Nitish Kumar needed 5 years to win the trust of his people,i need another 5 months to sweep the trust of some people what they have shown in me seriously woman!

After being declared as the most “caring son” in the entire Jha family(in which there are guys,visiting NDTV,Times Now, taking care of New york stock exchange and abb kya likhon, haan famous wrriters too) is something i would certainly feel proud of really! Great that i got this chance,happy i m.chalo will try to come back with a post as long as your choti meri jaan! But what if i would have been studying marketing at Melbourne Business school flunking my exams and then i would have started a pizza shop there and so on.m laughing wait..:)

On the jukebox:-mausam hai mastana dil bhi dewana!

Third teeth of wisdom is here nt there dear:)

‘Women have an unfair advantage over men:if they cant ‘get’ what they ‘want’ by being ‘smart’ they can get it by being ‘dumb’!’

See the category below jaan! Guys take it easy and gals chew nails!
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Adding one more through my head what i left yesterday night while i was playing with my little dictionary seriously.So here goes dear exclusively for U:-
“Dnt you mull that your life has been highly predisposed only through 140 characters?”

Good to b here

I have not posted a normal blog entry here for ages,almost four months.I have been quite active somewhere else. Although you see nano sized some posts here.When i like all of you also prefer a ride on BMW.What i have missed here.Writing a post means riding on a BMW. And who doesnt like to ride on a BMW?Raise your hands!

In the days to come,from this month only i would try to write something different here.Of course mylife but along with it some different topics too.Politics mainly.And i wont bore anyone of you by writing that messy topic i guess.

Time to withdraw from certain things have come ‘now’.I need to concentrate on ‘serious’ issues here also and so in my life.

And dear readers dnt chew nails polish it, keep cleaning, dirts are nt good for health.Getting late for office! See you soon!

@Gals(readers), The softer your comments, it is easier to moderate.Sniff!

my white fat cat

Lets talk about cats today.In hindi billi.How they behave,from sitting on your couch to swiftly springing herself on to the floor and then like a bullet from the barrel reaches under your dining table,soundlessly, eyeing on the most coveted healthy diet in any household of the world,milk,unless you notice her while she is busy finishing the pot.And then i romantically move towards her,whispering, meow, meow aja aja na, but yet scared what if she flings herself on me or out of downright urgency from her side to escape the hit from me through the broom she drops the pot in d middle and passes through the space between my legs.Damn scary.But all in all i find them cute.And luckily i never got chased by cats.Except one.Fat white cat looks cute.And these days i m playing with a white cat.cute she is.Fat too.

There are so many reasons for a cat to behave aggressively.And the white fat cat at my house has been going through some pain.It could b mainly due to ‘toothache’ or because she has hurt herself in a fight.She fights too much.huh.Other reason of appearing aggressive could b aging too.Which tremendously affects her hearing and vision abilities and makes the cat as uneasy as me writing my novel,checking grammar part seriously man.

So many times there is a drastic change you find in their sleeping patterns of the cats.Mine white fat cat has been waking up these days at 2am.Worse still she starts shouting here and there and then i come up,pick her gently and places her near my cheeks,of course afraid once again what if she scratches my soft cheeks.huh.naughty she is.huh.

And this waking up at midnight might b due to some fear and pain(toothache?) or to get attention from me at midnight she starts vocalizing.If this continues for many days it means you need to correct it.So i m correcting it by writing here seriously.

I try to get her to sleep by soflty roaming my fingers on her soft soft fur and being with her so she is relaxed and chill always happy too.Also very vital for me to hold my anger under control as much as possible.I never show now that her unnecessary vocalizing irks me else she uses it as her most loved weapon to get my attention that too in the late night.you wonder now after so much of irritating times what she gives i still want to keep her at my home as long as possible.But soon my ‘wife’ will arrive now.God knows how she will treat her.will she throw her? Oye Sohniye.plz dnt throw her out of the house.

Though me so busy i rarely get time to spend time with her.But in dreams i imagine her,walking in to the park with me on a hazy saturday morning.She loves munching on a blade of grass.Is she turning vegetarian,i dnt wonder.she has been highly unpredictable all these years serioously(spelling mistake yaar).I guess all animals have this instinct to protect them selves and take care of their health.Toothache also.

My white ‘fat’ cat eats grass a lot.It helps her to keep her digestive system chill.Dnt cut in with what the ‘cat’ is doing.They get irritated very easily.God.

But if you notice that your cat has started to b more and more often sick then take it to the vet.I m goin there only.Meooww:)

Bg thing

Everything i guess have to do with your background has some influence on how you tell stories but its hard to parse how growing up in a very small town really affected it!

GM:)

Do not mull over what other people are mulling about you.They are damn busy worrying over what you are mulling about them!

nt satisfied yet!

Politics later, life first.Its been nt ages for sure i know,i have been inserting one liners here instead as usual posts.Blame it on my busy work life plus the first draft of my life or Veena Mallik in the Big boss seriously, and i was hoping from the God Ji to lend me some time for blogging.Although while hitting ms-word for my draft i came here time to time,played hide-seek games with some of you.Interpolated stuff, wrote about some lame excuses, something like this-’ something irks me or my Bobby darling slapped me publicly or anything you want to think’.But trust me all these things would never dare to take me away from here.Guaranteed.Except one thing.My first draft.Started working over time at the office, and more than my work during over time,i spend time writing about things happened long time back with me.Gave series of creative writing tests in the last 6 months.While my Boss thinks that i have b come the sort of serious employee who would nt mind sitting 14 hours non-stop(what if my Bobby darling smses me,’come soon?’), i m busy mulling over the color of Richa’s dupatta(novel demands, sorry bobby darling).And to b honest,i m happy that i have reached a stage in my life from where i seriously dnt need to look back at all.It doesnt mean, that i would forget about some unconditional help i got from the readers of my blog. Though me greedy Boss,expecting more,huh.

Any form of writing aint easy at all seriously.More importantly,it affects your daily life at times,when my mother shouts this,’can you please tell me about that black coat’.I shut down the windows,trudge towards my bedroom,gaze on the cover of the latest edition of India today,look at her face,chuckle for a while,stupid me, she can not resist my numbness now and tells me to stop being kind to strangers and so on.I m still lost in my draft,it takes time to get over from beautiful past,especially when you are writing it.And i tell this-mummy coat is safe,in Rohini at my sister’s place:)So if your writing makes you a little uneasy,dnt worry,its temporary my Boss.b happy.

Its like writing a post,the difference is, here i dnt worry about grammar much but for the draft i really worry.Else no difference for me.What ever we write,we write first for our own self then for others.And the immense ‘satisfaction’ which no amount of bank balance can give you at all.Going down the memory lane,recalling those times when i had only two loves.One, maths,second, cricket.How life has changed in the last 13 years.Muzaffarpur,you may say what a shit place it is, no electricity,dirty roads, bakwass place to live in,but to me,if God Ji gives me an option to choose between Miami and Muzaffarpur i would say-Arreee chill yaaar MFP plz.!!! A lot of incidents from there i m stuffing in my draft. We are shaped and fashioned by what we love at the end of the day!

chalo its 11;30pm perky delhi milieu is troubling me now to write more! Editing is goin on. Of course i m nt satisfied the way i wrote more so with the content.Things actually what i wanted to b in starting,appearing now in the end and so on.Its tough.Tougher than any other exams i have faced till now.But then if you want to see the rainbow you have to bear the rain my Bobby Darling! See the title:)

@Jukebox:-jab koi baat bigad jaye jab koi muskil pad jaye….tum dena saath mera oo humnawa…!

sweet!

True woman prefers emotions to reasoning! There are always exceptions!

Poor She

I was totally flummoxed.Not only did the cat show us with no script,no story,and totally no idea of one scene to the next.She would nt let us see rushes.I didnt even know how I read.She would stand in front of the camera.There would b video people and reporters around her,and she would actually block the screen so i couldnt see it.I filmed her blocking the screen, so i couldnt see it!

Okay!

You have never run into a guy who could win at the top level in anything today and didnt have the right attitude,didnt give it everything he had,at least while he was trying to do it;wasnt prepared and didnt have the whole program work out!

~~~:- Funny is an attitude!

@Jukebox:- Poochho na poochho hua hai kya muze teri baton mein aake.aadha hissa meri kahani ka tuuu:)ye ishq haye baithee bithaee jannat dikhaye:)

Marriage

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,understanding,economical,and a good cook.But the law allows only one wife:)

Wife!

Behind every successful man there is a woman,behind ‘her’ is his wife!

writing

A good story tells us the truth about its hero.But a bad story tells us the truth of an author!

Care:)!

Friendship

Just to tell you that when everyone around me is rushing ahead in life…thanks for pausing here and giving a thought for me.Your presence has such a positive influence on me.i admire you!

Happy republic day

First they ignore you,then they laugh at you,then they fight with you,then you win-Mahatma Gandhi.

Onion please…

Its nt cushy to change the writing gear from one liners to as usual posts.But just i want to come back in my erstwhile writing style.Lets see, what i write now,still i m nt sure,topics are enough but everything should nt b written publicly. Vegetables?Red, green, blue, curvy, round and cylindrical,oh i mean such colors and shapes are in itself mesmerizing enough to stand near to it and to watch.But to me among all vegetables, onion is the back bone of my eating habits.So if you are the sort of who would mince-chhiii bad smell and etc.Just dnt read.

Not bad if i speak about the precipitous surge in the price of vegetables, especially onion.And i cant eat without it.Lunch, Dinner,even in supper, i dnt take breakfast.So the abrupt rise in the price of onion has been a thing to ponder over.Whether i m wishing to whip out a knife from the pocket and warn the vegetable monger to give me the onion at the cheaper rate else i can snip your nose or i sneak out behind the mad crowd during the evening time,and stuff half kg secretly inside my bag.There are so many ways you can break over someone’s trust,isnt it?The high time is now,while i sit down to refresh my mood by watching what you know at 8pm in the night on the TV, and a loud sneeze from your Meera aunty, while she is debating with my mother about the price of the onion, takes away my concentration from Sonakshi Sinha to their conversation.Yup m a fan of her.I spend some seconds,recovering from the horror which happened due to the loud sneeze.Luckily,like all bad things end,good too,that priceless 15mins of conversation over the price of onion got ended.And then i thought over it and i was like-’hey man a woman in her mid fifty is so serious about this price thing’,it must b matter of concern which i didnt feel yet.I dnt see price tag or i just ignore.

Later in the night around 11pm i typed onion in the google(i type some names too) and came to know about all the brouhaha about onion.

Come to the point now,our farmers grow vegetables to make money from us,we buy these vegetables to fill up our empty stomach.Simple. But in a country like India,there are so many people between farmers and us.From a rapacious middleman who controls the mandis and jack up vegetable prices at will at the expense of the poor consumers like us to so many others .The clear problem,with a clear solution:allow foreign chains like Tesco to set up shop in India.But then we are afraid often to allow foreigners to control our shaky system.We like to get robbed by our own men than outsiders.Especially when you have a party in the opposition like BJP and the left who together would b more powerful than six Khalis the great you cant do a thing.Fear is the most catty disease,fear of being robbed by outsiders.So just dnt allow them.Keep things in the family only.

Television channels called pundits,who as usual draped themselves in immaculate attires,spoke fluent english(wanna crash course?),congress leader crushed BJP leaders and vice versa.Agriculture minister plopped the million dollar thought of having a vegetable farm around all big cities within the radius of 30km.Taking into account the cost of the real estate,this solution also vanishes into thin air never to b applied.Sigh.

Probably, after reading and listening to these suggestions,i sort of thought to plant onion instead rubber plants,provided my mummy allows then.An immature advice is the easiest to follow.If you cant afford to buy onion,lets grow your own.Start planting veggies all over the India,from parks to years old dilapidated smutty urinal to open maidans to your green lawns in front of your house,what you dnt have space that much? Come on, buy a flower pot and grow onion.havent you heard this famous quote,Necessity is the mother of invention!

Surge in price seriously affects middle class Indians. Some serious reasoning and we see that if the cost of something is 1 today tomorrow it wll b 4 and so on.arithmetic progression(Algebra yaad hai?)

Dnt worry now the cost has gone down and you better stuff your bag and dnt hide behind the crowd while buying veggies i did that only during college time!

And good news or bad i dnt know but i m goin to write a lot of posts here.Things i never wrote..but now time has come really.

redialing mode

The impact of technology has wrought massive change in our day to day lives.Yup.It surely has made communication so easy that sometimes i pragmatically have illusions about the way things were in the last decade.Seriously man.

Remembering the numerous challenges i had come cross while talking to someone on her landline telephone from the STD Booth is hilarious.The big grin on my face you see if i get connected in the first chance,for me it was like either Deepika Padukone got married or India won the world cup.I mean, there were different distinct scenarios in which your trunk call would connect easily.Not much time so i m nt goin to explain that.Not to forget about raising your voice by at least 14 decibels.Because the person on the other side could hear you or not,you are nt sure, but your neighbours and the guest sitting in the dining room would hear.

Another hilarious part was watching “three minute limit”,putting all not so important stuff aside and concentrating and hitting my head to recall all vital things for which i called up to you.Be it demanding cash from papa,telling you how i called to a gal,illness news(to grab extra cash from papa) weddings being fixed of different sisters,hmmm.With the clock ticking away good things tended to vanish.Nothing,i shout without caring about the STD Booth owner before hearing the operator’s robotic voice announce-”three minutes over” and the trunk call being disconnected while i m in the middle of my breaking news of getting highest marks in test(lowest too).I fathom first-hand nerve-shattering impact this had on my family members leaving them happy and unable to articulate anything.

Anyway, life has changed i m talking about late 90′s and early 2k,thanks to the internet, mobiles in every pocket, e mails, voice chats and what not man we all know. And this list keeps expanding as the day progresses.i hear about sniffer rats at the airport.ummm!Would b happier more if rats get replaced by cats:)

To elongate this oldies lets talk about ‘postman’.Achha baad mein.abhi thoda business intelligence read kal loon mein!plz do check grammar here.i beg meowww:)