a surprise post…

If  Mikhail Gorbachov can think of being a part of a ramp show.If  Rakhi Sawant can b come a social activist that too with her  semi naked dress.If  Rahul Dravid could fail to give a decent performance against less formidable attack.If  Sameer(teffin wala …) could mug Rapidex english speaking course book.Then….why not I write this blog as regularly as I wish.I heard once awareness is the first step towards excellence.O I dint hear this actually I read this while flipping through the pages of one of the books written Gunahon Ke Devta.Nahi samjha.Its  ok donot give stress of Sonia Gandhi when she speaks Hindi on your head.I will come back to this later.Since from my childhood,I have kept my grammar as weak as knowledge of sanskrit for Hillary clinton.I have a terribly horrible grammar.Now got the point I think so.So  when I thought of penning blog the whole world attacked on me.O tu likh ta hai kya? O tune kabhi kuch ..pehle bhi likha hai kya?? Anyway….today I thought why not I would accept myself  as  a weak writer who thinks 234 times before writing one single sentence.So…if you find something as misplaced as saree ka aanchal of Bipasha Garam Bashu.Then leave it as it is.  It looks penetrating only when it is slightly misplaced.!So donot consider me as a grandson of shakespear or close relative of Raj kamal jha( bhaiya sorry blog mat dekhna suchii main suicide kar longa).The inspiration of writing something  actually started long time back.When I read the word awareness.When I was vigorously reading books 2 years back landed up in delhi for my visa process.Hell that time was.I started reading books written by lord of broken guy,mashiha of poor guy got it.The ragpicker of modern times.Ok now donot tell me..samjh gayi  samjh gayi….You cant I know..your ken of reading books is as low as my BP in october last year.He is a writer name is Robin Sharma.Samjhi stupid.I missed my dinner my lunch even forgot to comb my hair while rushing for interview.In the beginning I dint like it was like a romantic movie in which Pratibha patil acting opposite of Kader Khan.But gradually very gradually I crawled up the jist of his books.It took me some time donot b surprised I have been a slow guy all through my life so far.The best I have got after reading such self-help books is I m no burden on this earth.There are people who have messed up more than me and touched the stars that too without the help of any NASA inspired people.I cant hate myself I understood after reading such awesome books by him.I have to spend a lifetime with myself.How can I think of such a  badd word   for me. nahi..main bura nahi hoon.I M NO MEAN.I had to accept that I m short but not inferior.I m just different.And during the process of reading I learnt the best art of which still makes my life as beautiful as Richa-I learnt to laugh at myself at my uncanny way of seeing this world.Not the lack of self esteem but  a parley with the reality and I understood most of the times we fuel our ego to lose our peace of mind.O boot hua.I m not for u.I m for myself for my family for my sweet dear darling frnds from REC-Durgapur for frnds from muzaffarpur.But more than the great writer the one person who helped me during that dark time is my mentor.My real guru my sister eldest one.

                                    I see my marriage as being anarranged one.When I visit girls house.I would sip some coffee smile at the girl and look at her stupid brother with agogness to Bhag jaa saale.I see her smiling from back door.She is shy who looks 234 times in her Timex Watch before uttering one single  word.I see her cooking Aalo fry  with attention of  Tom cruise while kissing Kate Holmes.I mean she would b good.Now I feel that she must know something about my darker side as she is the one who would stomach me all my life.I would tell her how I once dreamt of marrying juhi chawla when I was 14.I would tell her she is prettier than priety zinta in shoulder(Kandha O hindi main yahi kahte hain na.bhai log jo angrez ho agye hain).These bollywood directors are indeed aware how to dance with lizards.I mean I will not hurt her ever.Thts it.Hurting others for me is like hurting myself.I will take her every wekend to Macdonalds without selling her mangalsutra.I will carry my little daughter with any help from nearby vegetablemonger.Whe someone is leaving her parents her family her pets dogs her 12+ boyfriends to marry its my big responsibility to keep her happy.I want some girl as stupid as me not some one who would later looks for someone more decent and civilised than me.Civilisation has lost its beauty in this maaadern time long time back ago.

                             But m i really mulling over marriage? No No..not before 2008 december.Not donot say…main wait karungi Anu…donot wait.Dont wait and if u do den i wll put on top of India gate!!

                                 

..me with my space

There are times in life.When I want to remind myself about my own childish and horibble things I have done in my life.There are times in life when I want to kick hard that buried memories from my mind so hard,in the process I hurt myself.There are times in life when I want to sit and like to ask myself,where have I been all through those years.There are times when I just feel good when I m alone.It may look as bizarre as mallika Sherawat in white lioncloth but trust me I feel happy and good when I just walk down alone in the woods drops of rains may b not enough to sooth and calm down my torrid senses of uttering words.I enjoy lonliness.It seems I have indeed forgotten how to show complete 32teeths altogether on a silly prank spoken by a beautiful lass with a dirty soul.I have seen how could a beautiful face can show an ugly soul with time.And  I m happy.Over the last 2 years I have learnt lesson of my life.Its like  an imaginary button tells me ..(.Anupam donot expect anything from anyone.)The moment I see someone unleashing sympathy and care for me…from outside family.I feel afraidness of  a cute girl especially when she is surrounded by 3 mike tyson type figure.One can imagine only.I have 3-4  close frnds with whom I enjoy my spare time.Along with my family.I m a kind of guy who would like to help you only when I b come sure of ur intentions of getting help from me!! Expecting sweet little things from someone is the biggest sin of this world.It hurts badly as badly as a slap of sunny deol on a sweet 8 years girl.O mar jayegi.

     Expecting nothin makes your life beautiful tension free as kool as cyprus.I guess my life would b more peaceful if I minimise my expectations from people. I think I should give it a try.It may b come a kind of dry and bland existence.But it can b worth trying.After all I like to b alone.In the middle of this post I feel now better.The pain of deleting somone from your f list is not much than missing the voice of my sweet darling mummy.The closet person.I need privacy so plz Mr…manoj donot call me.I need comfort rite now I m busy Mr.Rakesh…I need time to call someone Miss  Shruti plz donot call me btw 8 to 10.I mean I can do such silly things to feel good I can ignore 234 people at the same time.But the moment I see my home number twinkling on me cell.I yell.. I jump I say No space no privacy …rite now I m a public animal. I can slap hard to the HR of Wipro for rejecting me thrice.But I cant go against my mother.I can burn the pony tail of my 1st crush O Richa.But I cant burn dreams of my mother regarding me.I can carrry a scar resulted from the sandle of 2 beautiful girls 7 years back.But I cant see one spot of pensiveness on mothers face.Its been now 1 year I m missing home.I talk everyday and I wish there would b some technology which could parcel me at my home without any ticket without the worry of coming back to office.Sadly there is nothing like that.Patience pays I heard someone told me when I was 7.Hope next time when i will land up at my home.I will not embarass my mummy by showing my dirty socks and unkempt tee shirts and jeans.

                      I mean I m very eclectic.very selective when It comes to relationhsip of any kind.thats it…I m so sorry i wish to eat butter toast which has been sitting in the north side of  my room.I mean I m just hungry.I m not philistine at all.O SAMJHA….nahi  toh koi baat nahi boot creative soch hai mera.

hata sawan ki ghata!

Lately,I have been hitting orkut.And this is not the first time I m here.In 2005 I made my first ID.Stayed here for 1 month.Deleted after seeing that I m just alone no one is here except me!.I guess during these 2 years lot of water has flown through Ganga.A struggling guy wandering like unchained monkey now  bought a Wagan-R.O jee not me.I need centuries to buy something of 1+.But one thing what I really donot fathom is why people are pasting pics of Bollywood stars on their respective profiles.Ok,you are comfortable imaging yourself very much like Salman.She is happy seeing her self like Kajol.Kajol is sweet.I agree.But you are sweeter than her.Just look from my eyes.Got it.No.Ok,you are tension free hey see I have pic of Lindsay Lohan on my orkut profile.I m western.I speak hinglish like Paris Hilton and capable of cracking any BPO interview.That too acceptable but your own identity should b DNA of your personality not other way around.   

                               On a different note,Milieu is quite romantic.I wish I would have Dia Mirza as my neighbour.I wish I were a little kid of age 12.So I could watch her without thinking of what my present GF would do if she finds me in Dias arm.Kids are pardonable.The amount of sugar in a fully prepared Rasgulla is surley lesser  than sweetness of a7 years old tot.Dia Mirza means Indianness,Innocence,Decency shyness,Naturally beautiful.And fully covered.Whenever I get time and I think of roaming  to any cool place,where at least I can a get decent chance of viewing someone like her.But my  tortured brazen heart and  and a mind which ahs lost its peak never even get a glimpse of her.This world is of Rakhi Sawant and Mehgna Naidu.I hate them.I m very much aware hate is  a bad word.But I hate them.More than I hated my college bully who used to sing raunchy songs in front of a mandir that too with complete pelvic gyrations.I hate woman with lesser clothes.I wont hate you if you wear nothing at home.You have that complete prerogative of being naked at your home.But if you show your strap publicly when you are surrouned by all types of mindless creature.You cant blame to someone for being indecent to you.I guess they feel,wearing less,showing more makes them look as as irresistable as  Salma Hayak.O O again I m veering.

                                 This 2nd innings of blogging has been bitterly tough for me.I have no time for blogging.I m busy.I need to buy bMW.I need money to buy a mangalsotra for my GF.Else she may fly away like others.*Anu main ja rahi hoon 1 year ho gaya kuch nahi diya abhi tak*.And me as always I use my humour ans  something like.Life is too short to take something from someone,donot take give me!But now I m changed.I have started giving gifts to girls without asking even names!So if you feel and think that you too need something as precious as  dilapidated flooters of Julia Roberts.You can contact me.I have no GF…..FEEL free b come one.Fitness is mandatory though,see yourself first then get in touch.Figure is pivotal.

Song of the day:-Donot touch me donot touch me,touch me touc h me soniyaaa…