laugh out loud

If you have been reading this blog for sometime.And donot know me well enough to hate me concerned and mulling *Anu Ko Kya Hua? Cancer? Loveria(ye toh nahi hoga abb)? AIDS?So pensive this guy.Really rotten.Donot know how to take off his tee-shirt after consuming one sip of wine.Donot know how to stand tall with confidence in front of a young kitten.So Darpook this guy is.And yes one can only blame luck to know me so closely.Luck.Soo you must blame your luck for not having a more mature more careful more hunky more …Donot blame me.I m not responsible.

                                   I see around people weeping keenly,because her hubby went off to London.I see around people mulling over their past,rubbing off their hands.I see around bevy of young engineering students dreaming of goin to USA one day.I see around a 85 year old man waiting for his final match.Death.I see around so many things,I feel just I need to say a big CHILL YAAR.Donot take yourself so seriously,this is the way of living this life.Our final destination is same.Isnt it?? Death.I see people clinging to harsh memories,things which you cant even change for 1 nanosecond,things which still hurt them,things which still make tears flow down their cheeks even when they donot want it.An untimely death,making a girl of 20 to forget about PizzaHut,a frequent smile,because she lost her mother without any fault of her.Now you cant blame that to her.That is also luck.Such things are part of life.Like happiness,bad times also are in limited quantity.I told her when I met 3 weeks back.Life is not for ever.Its tooo short really and I get afraid sometimes to remember over my deadly mistakes,I did.Life is limited like castrol fuel in your car.Enjoy riding this car till you have fuel,no one knows when this fuel will get vanished.Yet we hurt each other over trivial issues.Why?When this life is not even enough to love each other.

                         May I need to know I may never get a second chance to b the good guy I could have been.May U need to know that the moment you have been waiting for to tell him,how much U Love him may never arrive.May b U need to know that moment just passed and u missed it.May b U need to know that the tears which are coming from your eyes,will never b enough for him to say I love you.Useless to give so much importance to someone.

                           Ek baat abb bol ta hoon.Jadu teri nazar khooshboo tera badan(ye toh pata nahi mujhe).Life is like this lovely song.Take things lightly seperation is a part of life make it so beautiful that even you grow old you will laugh at your deeds you will laugh how this immature guy had given you so memorable moments that you still think of him on every karva chauth.Without even a tang to your hubby.I guess I will b alive by that time.Ahh,may b near to final match of life.Death.Kitna Manhooooos hoon main.!!   

Note: U all deserve me.I m a guy that too unmarried n looking…..

a real dumb

The distance between  the sun and  earth is pretty much.And the distance I have to trudge before  I can b come a responsible member of the society is almost more than that.But still one thing which is tweaking in some kind of meaning in my life these days,is  a kind of inclination I have for something,thing I lost sometime back.And I m tragically happy to have her  just as a frnd.A little thought of her nibbling on my head,pushing me mindlessly to write something rite now.Plus the kind of milieu I witnessed yesterday evening at Cafe Coffee Day.How can someone in public behave like a tainted whore?? Chill.This is my way of expressing things what I donot like.So bear it,if you are reading this piece.

                             Though most of the times.I shun these places like Barista,Cafe Coffee,Pizza Hut etc etc.Never I feel to go there order something stare at couples heartlessly showing affection and care publicly without shame.This is India.And its shining.Great.I hate.But due to her haunting charm yesterday I b came like O-I FEEL-YOUNG,and walked into Cafe Coffee Day Saket,South Delhi.Almost 30mins from my flat.So I entered into the Cafe,felt like an alien for 2mins.And sitting there chewing  vegetable sandwich,I shamelessly looked around all the couples who sat around me.Cuddling each other,putting a piece of something in his/her mouth forcibly,one of the guys was crawling his fingers on her so called girl friend.I donot know how many such fingers have been moved on her.Holding hands.Shy  smiles.Giggling loudly.Ahh,suddenly one word very familiar one even my maid’s son who is just born 2 months back must b fully aware of that word.Love.I thought then,chill they are in *love*.If you have just tumbled on this planet earth then I m sorry,else everyone knows about this word.*Love*.So all the couples there were in serious love.Great.I hate this greatness.

                                 Ok love.It is  as overused a word as a public toilet.Commonest of the common.Bollywood is shining because of this word.Else there creativity of making movies has been thrown awaay long time back.Great.The greatest invention for them,next after newtons 3rd law. A typical bollywood director can wear his pants without underwear,but he cant think of one movie without a tang of this word.Love.And very unfortunately yes very if you missed this word in a movie,its usage in real life is quite abundant,as is the usage of guns in Iraq.

                               My friend says, he is in love with a girl who works at the 3rd floor of his office.I m told the punjabi kudi who is my next door neighbour has enormous crush over a south indian hairy male.The other day,I saw Samir(tiffin wala) heartlessly waiting at 11 pm.When he saw me.He felt like I have stolen his 32 teeths altogether that too without even single whiff.When I asked him,Kya kar raha hai abhi raat ko? He shyly answered…Wo aane wali hai.May b they are in love too.Another Great.Even in cyber world this word is creating lot of hungama.Ye Toh Mujhe Pata Hai.I swear.

                     And then this boyfriend-girlfriend thing.Its like a tooothbrush.You got to have one.Else you are useless.You have cancer.Ok everbody dies one day.Hello,He has been suffering from AIDS.Chill,Shilpa Shetty also had in one of the movies,nothing new.Namaste jee,my mansion burned down last night.Areee tension nahi yaar,loan mil jayega.*Hey I donot have a girl friend*.WHAT??!! Why dint you tell me about this earlier,I wud have given u number of my Gf’s friend.Oh you pooor boy.Everything will b fine.God also can b cruel like this never I thought.

                         So love is like a neighbour gossip.We all know about this.Talking about love.And the way this word is used,leaves me feeling uncanny,strange. I feel there are two different aspects.To love someone.And to b loved.It is a fact,*tob loved* is a natural need.Its a need not love.As long as you need that person,you donot lover her.Because you need her.You love yourself in the process you want someone who stands out with you.That is your need.Love is not meant to b selfish.Love is quite harder and selfless than that.To love is not to wish for someone to b with oneself,but to give up oneself for that special someone.Love is not about holding hands walking under bunyan trees in winter.It is about even if you are miles away from that someone,even if you know you are not goin to see her ever in your short life.You just wish her happiness,you radiate a kind of affection which may b invisible for the world but it gives pleasure of your life.Without expecting anything,you pour lovely words for her happiness.Thats love.Love is not in her coming toward you near a beach,but to care for her when you know she would not come to you ever.

          For me,true love is not about the scene with your lady,where white clouds  are floating around your neck,a kool breeze doing something which makes the milieu romantic.And you b come a kind of crazy to say her.Hey sweety I love you.And you think of salsa and holding her tight against your half manly chest.Chill yaar.For me its just a beauty in which you consume your self so much that you forget your pains and smile,just b coz she smiled somewhere,knowing you no longer around her exists.

                  Wanting her happiness,with you without you.

         I m wondering,if the word love is used for selfish reason,selfish desires,wants wants from a woman.Get up,now,I m no authority, no love guru no shiny ahuja nothing.I have flunked my love exams miserably,that too every time I tried to pass.But when I see couples in love.I feel strange.I feel something must b gone within them.I donot know what.I m not insulting anyone’s feelings,just that I feel that to love someone supposed to b very deep and tough thing to obey nowdays at least for a guy like me.Love is a responsibility commitment big thing.Its about her not about you anymore.I m not trying to b saint here,please.Just that I felt to write on this long due project.And if I m really not making any sense please forgive me.After alll I m still a DUMB.

wo kaun thi

Some time back some one called up at home.At home there are only 2 living legends.One is papa second of course mummy.No divorce no separation this is India.Country of Fevicol.Couples here trusts in sticking forever.No other person is there,except some helpers.Daughters are in delhi,Noida,Baroda and son is zig-zagging between Gurgaon and Delhi.Ok so one as usual afternoon our landline started ringing.Tringg tringgggg.When both of them papa and mummy were busy guzzling their lunch.Papa stood up without urge of leaving his stomach half empty,knowing he will come back again and can guzzle faster than before.Leaving something without wanting is always painful.I know.Ok so he walked over to the bedroom,angrily took up the receiver and muttered..I m just goin to type you the conversation they had for just some mins.The person on the other side of the receiver was a female,searching me.! Now  main maar janwa uske finger pe jisne mera number dail kiya.

Papa-Hello

She-can i talk to Anupam?

Papa-what??(like someone asked him how much money you have in your new bank account) No he is in Delhi.

She-can I get his number.its urgent     

Papa-but why do u want his number?ur name n from where you are speaking..(one can feel this situation when you have only son who is on threshold of Big M.that too in state like bihar.Where son rises before than sun.beta gaya haath se)

She-My name is priyanka m calling from delhi.Anupam promised a job.which is why…

     Now I give her ten millions of roses for lying like this.First I donot know any one with name Priyanka.And job from me its like you are expecting a baby from 93 years old lady.Biologically imposible.I m still in a state to fathom why that lass or lady made that sort of call that too at home.As far as my memory goes on I have nt given my home number to anyone for the last 4 years.No one knows.And I have to slap my head hard to reconcile someone from the past who could thinking of doing such weird thing.Weird because she lied.First name second reason of calling.

                               Anyway when papa narrated me this story inspired by K-serial thoughts.We three laughed for some decent mins later mummy seriously asked me.Tu kisi ko janta hai iss naam se? And I swore mummy..nooooo you know I have been away from all this for the last 3 years.Before that you know about her.Suchii mummy koi nahi hai.Whoever you are madam I donot know you nor wish to know you.But I didnt like the way of remembering me.I expect more decent and sober way of calling me telling your real name.Telling my  parents about how I gifted you big teady-bear without having penny.You would have expressed your feelings more directly rather than this confused way.Which made me to think that woman can also b a coward.Madam aaj kal ki aurten toh father ke saamne bhi nahi sarmate hain.Aap kis duniya se ho.zara bata bhi do.Getting crush on you.May b you wanted to talk to me.May b you wanted to clear out things before your marriage.May b you wanted to tell me…Anu plz come back I m still same no change still wearing that salwar-kameez you gifted me 4 years back.I still resemble Mausmi Chatterjee.Ok but dear this way you can only make more in state where I can see two sides of the road one is heading toward jahannum if I show any serious inclination second one is rising toward impeccable future of mine if I take this call like a mistake done by me in class 3 after entering into the ladies toilet without knocking and…(ye batana zaroori hai).I mean,I can only amuse myself and can say.Oh m still getting calls from girls.That era has of calls has passed long time back.Madam you just try another number.I m sure this number of mine must b giving you pain of me when I miss her may b.I know my ken regarding women sucks like vaccum cleaner.I know you may b someone too good to ignore.I know you must have ahd some rock solid reason to lie and hide your real name and reason too.I know you have b come like mother teresa at the age 26 due to lack of cosmetics.No cosmetcis without Anu.I trust you b coz you still thinkyou can trust me.I know you are still wrapping your dupatta around your hen driven neck.I know everything.But just donot want to write.This is enough more than.

                         The most startling part of this puzzle is how can someone in this information age could rely on landline?Abee tuu koi sarojni naidu ke time se toh nahi hai?I m on ryze,on xing on orkut(though not always) I have millions of yahoo ids..most of theem are now dying severely due to dearth of suitable time and of course suitable lass too.Next time if you want to get in touch with me.Just drop oh donot drop just sail smoothly on your e mail id some lovely words full with innocence decency and a little bit of anger too. I prefer ahh not prefer I die to someone I like to b in anger.Angry face says only love.So sail it to -Anupam_Jha14@yahoo.com

                               I m not waiting.Nor ever I will.No time.But please donot make my parents angry at me.I will kill you else. Kill me donot kill me kill me donot kill me Anuuu.chal ye song gaa de.

ye blog nahi..dil hai mera..

Hey how are you? Fine great…no not feeling great ok.Then also donot shower your depression on me.I m in no mood to get watery from anyone,not even my socks.I m feeling the first blow of winter here in Delhi.Especially in the morning.Early sun adding the required masala which makes milieu quite sizzling.This is sizzling I tell you.And I would like to get immersed in this beautiful canopy of life.Music is doing great in this room.It seems life has suddenly turned into something I dint expect 4 days back.Ok Ok.The echoing of wishes from someone hitting my head severely.And I m relishing that echo I tell you.Everything seems in ideal condition except the smell coming out from the bathroom.Else,life is getting calmer.Just 30 mins back I called up at home.Enjoyed the talk with papa n mummy.Though still I m feeling sleepy b coz of the effect movies which I have seen yesterday night.Making my eyes like a growling puppy.Anyway now time has come to swing the thoughts swirling in my mind for last 2 weeks.

                                  O dhayan se read kar aisa nahi lagta hai.main koi suchiii future writer hoon.Ok Ok nahi hoon.I know I m dishing out useless stuff often.My life.Not Java.Technical stuff I really donot enjoy.Ok donot tell yell to me hey I m goin US for 7 months on a project.Else I can hurl you somewhere around the toilet of Hillary Clinton.These days I m under certain kind of treatment.Regarding the inflow of  worms inside my stomach.Ye worms ko koi place nahi mila sab se faltu main.I have taken my break-fast now on blog after that..oh wait between that I called up home yes. My excitation level has been growing without boundries when I think of my life after exactly 6 months from today.Means-Ye secret hai..nahi batana hai.Suspense hai.Suspense,Horror,Bhoot these words has been glued with me like the cap of Himmesh Reshammiya’s  on his head.So let the suspense grow naturally  fundoo things needs freedom.Donot worry I m not getting married.I m in yet-to-understand state when it comes to this big M.I swear on my present GF.I remember still what I had written today on14th  October 2006.So I donot need now proof in my hands telling everyone hey I m alive doing great.I know I m at better end of life.Abee end nahi ye dusra end hai.

                                This blogging thing is like you cant froce it to piss something when ever you wwant.It comes without signal.Writing is a mooooody stuff.There are times when I mull over so much to write I fail to even write about my own name.There are times when I just wish to capture every moment through this blog I have through.May I m an indecent crap guy who have very little ken reagrdingt how to talk to a lady.May b my grown up brain cells are yet to discover the beauty smitten with the word woman.May b I have done masters in Heart Ko Break Karo from the college of lovers.May b I m good for nothing.May b I m useful  only for my parents.And for little tommy(kutta at home).Despite all,I m better at when it comes to how foresee life unfolding in front of me.With so much minimal expectation from my self I guess I m not goin to come across any big hurdle in coming time.Less ambition less pain.Satisfacion doesnt come from achieving goals.It comes from admitting the fact that what you have its good.A feeling of this kind can make life smoother very much like the state of mind I find  when I listen songs of my choice.I m a good singer O not joking.I still can imagine the situation the troubling one the 1st horrible moment of my life when a 17 years old chubby got circled by 3 tigerly textures with face of an accident victim.I mean the time when I got ragged 1st time during ragging period.And there were two things which used to save me from our seniors.First was maths(being a state topper i need answer every steps of how to find integration of log(sina)).And another was my singing habits.Apart from these two things another thing where I can really do well is cricket.I m a good cricketer.May b now I donot like to watch Rohit Sharma or I prefer often Sourav.But my heart goes boom boom whenever I remmeber the days of college playing matches against Maharasthra Family.Skilled equally well at both battingand bowling without coaching.I never took any coaching classes for anything not for even IIT-JEE.Not for GRE..despite being from typical hindi medium school.Not for anything I just donot believe.God had been kind to me.If I m enjoying something I donot need help.And the moment I feel that now I need help.I just stop doing that thing.Problem ye hai ki main bahut kam chig hii enjoy karta hoon.Not even the smile of D.P.(TERA SMILE TOH DEKHA NAHI ABHI TAK)

                               Chaloon abb dost saheb sleeping abhi tak.My bossom Ashish Jee.We have akinness of twins.From texture to character.It seems we have understood each other so well that even after 7 years of college life we brawl like a 1st year guys.OkoK OK…jada likha toh fir fight hoga.We just made things better for each other.Typical G-Bond.

                        Before I log off I guess I m missing something to mention.Chal bhool ja.And thanks for your wishes my best frnd.I HOPE YOU DRIZZLE MORE LIKE THIS EVERY YEAR.

                                    

D.P. without success…

After  a hiatus of 11 days today I m typing something.Sitting in front of a computer thinking what should I spew out in the beginning.There are things I cant write,given my level of grammar,I guess its not possible for me to hurl away all my feelings I go through that too on my blog.There are things better you donot express else the beauty of that thing will get vanished.And I donot want to live a life without certain feelings.Puzzzling.There are things which I can write and I have been writing only that stuff in the last 5 months of blogging. 

                               I come from  a family where manner your behavior toward anyone comes first.My father is alone like me,only brother…lot of cousins famous politicians so if you see any surname like Mishra Thakur holding positions like MLAs Mps etc from Bihar they must have then some heavenly link with my father.But papa hates  politicians thought not like my hating of  Mallika Sherawat.He is well mannered and I m learning manners from him whenever I talk to him.Like …..Papa how to shun people who have ego of mine holding better position than me professionally?? And he tells ..Just use your sense of humour.!!! And I try to cut his/her ego-ish words with my humour.I like to b humorous.Humour doesnt come from Pain it comes from sincere advice what I get from papa.Weapon to save yourself from a kamsin kali to CEO of a condom company.Papa reads books like I stare at bare foot of a sweet sixteen that too in just half pant.I mean he reads a lot and have been doing for the last 40 years.He has been teaching English since 1964 at the University Of Bihar Muzaffarpur.Managed lot of accolades and evrything expect money.! But But…what? I always usedto spend my evening in 5 star during my college life.Peerless Inn.Durgapur.So I developed a thought which made me to think that money is vital but running after it is useless.Dont b unchained monkey.And today I m capable of doing the same even on my own money.Papa is happy for that. He retired now but still busy he may land overseas as a visiting prof.Just I heard from mummy.But I guess he will not accept this proposal.And if he does.I will nt talk to him.I swear on Ramkali.Anyway best luck to Papa.Love you Sir.Son in India and father abroad.Height of heights. 

                               Now its time to write about my maternal side.God.From where should I start.Do you watch star-tv,star-one.Do you read about big CEOs? I mean my maternal side has everything what you call highly Hi-Fi.First late nana jee.He was Income  tax  officer in 1940s.Best dressed man thrice during his official tenure.He had 5 dangerously gorgeous daughters and 3 sons.Lack of condom can really make your life big.If  I continue to write about all this I guess even a book wont b able to capture everything.So I m cutting this story short.My mausa’s jee’s all were like what you call highly qualified type.Ex Vice-chancellors,Ex Gm of IOC, Chairman of MAT(MBA KARNA MERE LIYE BAHUT CHHOTI BAAT THI).London School of Economics alumunus in early 50s,Masters in French from Paris in 60s.So one can imgaine about their kids.IITians,MBAs from wharton,and everything.Bhabhi jee’s are all so beautiful that even Karina can shy away that too with degrees from IITs,Berkley etc.I know their kids have followed intellectual tradition.Some of them even surpassed their fathers.Like  Mantu Bhaiya.Ex Mechanical Engineer,from IIT-kgp now very close to Salman Rushdie.Great.Offbeat things I prefer.Its great to b come what your parents wishes for you.But real greatness comes when you do something you really relish and bhaiya just did that.

                              My position- I feel after so much of load of writing about them my own position seems like a tiny ant who have been circled by these greats.Somewhere down the line somewhere in the hustle-bustle of life what I have witnessed in their lives I think I m happy just being  an engineer from NIT/REC-Durgapur.It seems very shallow to count myself on their scale of successes.I donot trust in chasing someone.I donot know why.I m chasing Anupam Jha of 2k.That is that.Wanna b what I was.Not to reel off my blog with impeccable grammar.You donot need good grammar to write.You need words with above average common sense.

                                      Bahut hua ye sab faltu ki baatein.I m goin to watch OSO.I can stop myself from eating from sleeping from working from pissing from evrything but I cant stop myself from viewing someone of my choice.Even today.I will eat her without success.I will tell her I miss you more than you miss your cell-phone.I will kidnap her and we will fly to switzerland and will make a hut where we will b in peace forvever forever.Forever..I hate this word.I will enjoy the moment only we will have together.I will wipe my face with her silicon her duppatta after every 2mins.Due to drops of tears which will make my face like Kaidi number 746.She will stop me from doing this.She knows I sob as easily as Mallika Sherawat gets ready to kiss her hero.I hope if you are reading this post you are wasting your time.And I advice all of you .From dogs to intellectual fountains donot read this blog.And if you do.I will b responsible for any mental ail.

                            Now regarding title of this post.D.P. RESEMBLES someone.The divine beauty.Queen of Queensland.D.P.=R.M.   D.P. I would like to walk with you.Morning walk bhi chalega.