reverse gear

As life progresses,i m starting to gain the ability to  not to take it gravely n grimly.I have been through  some  tough entrance exams of life.Including GRE(not  a joke for a hindi medium guy at all).I have stayed mostly around hostels,and i have been through that typical milieu of hostel life.Though I was cynosure of  that life.Made some impeccable frnds.I have been beaten green by school teachers,college teachers for not being serious all my life.I have been declared decently intelligent by some people(they were  drunk,i guess).I have been through hitting my cycle into a large group of girls.I have been through some really testing times in my life so far.

                             Still I m yet to see this world,which will have things,what I feel good for me.But when i look back and recap my life i see there were several things,which i left untouched,i left unwillingly.It looks like a story of any other guy.Mine is no different.Share of laughs,tears,extreme masti,ridicule,pain,and some unforgettable memories.I see that even though i tend to look at this world as if i m the only one with this type of life,things going around me only,i m not.I m just among millions of poeple,each one living his/her story.Everyone is mulling his/her is The story.But if i take one step back i see at my life like any other person would,i see i m just a elfin in this big thing we call  the world.

                 So I just want to have a good time.Fun.Life is not an entrance exam for me now.Just a thing to enjoy and savour till it lasts.Love and to b loved.I donot wish my story should b treated like any serious project of condoms in some remote village of Bihar,Really.I donot want it to have too many pinching moments,soul searching,nah.Not where a villian comes and beats me till i say *oyee saala maar dalega kya dikhta nahi kitna chhota hoon*.In stead i want a story with  a few sweet smiles,hugs,blessings and a lazo.I donot need to win the world and makes everyone happy,this is not my job.My job is to make myself happy instead others.I just want my story to look like a sweet romantic comedy,where no body is crying around me.Where  there is no HR-EXECUTIVE from wipro,and even if they are,they wont b able to recognise me,but my poor maid thinks of me as nice guy.I wud just b satisfied with peaceful milieu,softy careful mother around me,scholarly father unleashing timeless wisdom to me,stumbling kids,and a lazo(wife) who thinks i m tolerable( m i tolerable? oye bol na).A little house with lots of plants,kids toddling around me,n asking me about the next one(papa mera brother kab aayega?).Love n trust in the hearts of loved ones,music is going(aashiqui ka i luv it)……uueemaaa 4 3 2 1  back to reality now.

                 I m not ambitious,rite.m i not ambitious?I guess I have some seriously serious problem in my head.Some of u may look at me n can say what a coward n dull this guy is.one who doesnt hav passion for  life he is a loser talking like that.One who have wasted money of parents by b coming a dingy engineer.A big burden for IT/ITes industry.One who have wasted NIT/RECs re sources.Have mercy on me,o u great victors ! ! But then guys I m so sorry.Its not I m not working hard i donot have dreams,infact i have dreams which are  responsible to  write all these hogwash words.But i wont let myelf to b tucked into any race,rat race,or mice race.I want  my life to b like a  sweet smelling handkerchief,which can offer me and others to wipe out tears coming out from eyes.A happy ending of a story no cry no pain no useless smses too ! !

meri wife contest !

Milieu here in Delhi is getting parkier with every passing day.And like always I have started  wearing sweater much befor than normal people think of covering themselves to protect from cold.So kiddish.Our goverment has been quite unfair for not giving paramveer chakra to my parents for tolerating me till today when I m on the verge of marriage.So anyone who will walk with me for whole life will score perfect ten on the scale of typical bhartiya wife.I m goin to spew 6 things what I would like to have in my life partner.Here goes ..kasam deepika ke ek choti ki.maar dala kaatil ne ! !

The simple shy salwar-suit wali

          Chand jaisa ye chehra,ek nasa sa aankhon main dheere dheere chhata hai.When I heard this song,my brain,kidney,intestine everything since then,whenever I imagine my dream girl,these lines start playing in the background of my mind.Plain face.No make up.Nazuk.Ek choti.Few just two blue bangles.Ek red bindiya.Shy.Innocent.Incredibly cute.White salwar-kameez.While walking eyes always on the road.No tak jhaak.Hai main mar janwa tere walk pe.The so called halter top low waist jeans,smoking fags,using foul words,changing boy friends like lindsay lohan,calling her self smart,independent,working for MNC,is a terribly wonderful thing for tobacco company,for shakti kapoor,for levis,but for me typical indian girl is always remains my dream girl.But oyee laaazwanti,not tooo shy ! !

   Me(back from office)-Knock Knock.Oye meri lazo,darwaza toh khool.

   She(very softly)-suno jee mujhe badi sharam aati hai aapke saamne aate shy feel hota hai.

  Me(keeping my tone low,padosi log dekh na le sun na le)-Meri lazo,ab kya sharmana,its been good 3 years now since our marriage now.chill.chill.

  She(giggling softly)-ueemaaa, nahi jee,aap abhi bhi bilkul stupid ho,

  Me(hitting my leg against the door)-Teri blue salwar suit ki kasam ab na khoola toh…….

    I really die for shy girls.I mean.But yes donot like to hit my leg against the door all the time ! !

without ego(most vital)

      Madam jee is graduated from putative institute then her ego will b not less than (?).Her ego should b as weak as condition of a thief in Dara Singh’s house.She should b like *do u remember Anu how I  yelled at your boss’s house while dinner after one lizard started crawling on my left cheek.I m such a stupid still.*May b thats y I never get attracted toward any girl from RECs or any other good institute.They keep elephant sized ego with themselves often uselessly.

   dusre ki baat mat sun meri lazo

             Now she is married she is getting exposed to typical indian fat neighbours,frnds,who have only one work,how to ignite fire in a cute sweet girl.They walk over sometimes at my house for *thoda dahi hai* and in the process hammering my lazo by tacky words like *how do u stay with him,he is coming late from the office.Never we see you goin outside for shopping and etc etc*.He is really a typical small nut.We know a very good lawyer.You deserve a better life sweet girl like you.I swear,I donot want to lynch these rotten women,and put their bodies in the nearby dustbin and next day National Commission of Women starts shouting in front of my house.Instead,I  would expect my lazo should have her own mind to judge whats good for her and what not.A trust in me.Unshakable belief in me.Typical chilled out girl.

  Bantu chantu ke papa aaj movie sovie dekh ne chalte hain

               Now  kasam  Hema Malini ki aawaj ki,the girl who actually laughs at johnny lever and govinda combined without pinching my cheek is my girl.Funny.Because it shows she likes brain-less stuff rather than movie like black.No seriousness plz.Flippant by heart.This kind girl will score ten out of ten in the contest *kaun banegi meri patni*.During ladka Ladki ko ek baar mil le time infact i would like to discuss …

  Me-hey have u seen biwi no 1?

  She-yes,so funny,

   Me-what about jUdi no 1?

   She-extra sweet…saw it 4 times.!

   Me-and mujhe se shaadi karogi?

    She-sab se best….ek dum fundoo

    Me-oyee lazzoooo this is real life question.

     myself(quite close things)

                  i write real shenanigans.I write whatever I wish.Whatever i enjoy .Donot wish to know your view regarding this.kasam natthu ke bald sir ki.Now a normal girl reads this blog and mulls *what a crap this guy is*.such a horrible grammar.and so soon.She hates  me for writing such weird things and she calls someone from UAE to kill me and flings my body in front of a lion.I will marry a wooden stick rather than you really.I mean girl should nt consider her self perfect.Chill yaar.Ek dum chill.Just leave me the way I m this is my biggest asset.

           needs of life

                  Now life is not only about sweet smiles and ek choti.Her basic funda of happiness should mtch with mine.Thats too necessary to relish life.I enjoy my work,but I keep a big picture everynight before I sleep.Picture of family,parents,happy milieu at home.Money is a parker pen to bring comfort for family and happiness.Money is a pen to write limited happiness.She has to understand this.If she loves pen more than happiness she must get in touch with a lawyer sooner will n better.

                          Another thing she is married with me and after 3 months she yells infront of her frnd.*see this stupid face guy is my husband*.But I donot really want red lips rich dad in  law jheel se aankhon wali girl who grizzles often about the standard of sofa set.Life is not a bollywood movie where i will sink myself in her eyes.Pink lips and tacky mental level is not something on what happiness can born.Abhii buss itna mangata hoon ganesh jee se..If you think you have it in you to b come mrs Jha.Pick up ur cell phone and sms me.Oye sms mat kariyo aise hi paise waste kar wa raha hoon.goin to sleep now.finger is paining acutely.kasam lazo ki ! !

                 

                  

watching

 In spite of I m getting  closer to the end of my bachelorhood.In spite of  I m feeling  like a salman khan forced to have hair on the chest.In spite of I m cooking up things mindlessly.I have not missed to enjoy life as much as pakistan team wants to thrash India in the next game.In my own.Diwali went by like a  tennis match between  maria sharapova and navjot singh sidhu.Aree bhaai samjha na kya matlab hua.Else,things are as ussual .Plain.

                                   At this station of life now I cant expect to spend thousands on firecrackers,nor on new clothes.Instead,I would like to hammer hard my brain to get over from fiddle things.But just for the information to aall of you,I m still a kid to hammer myself for my faults.I need someone who reminds of my goofs.I need someone who can happily stomach my stupidity without yelling *ueeeemmaa*.Anyway now donot stop reading this blog just b coz I m writing things which has importance only in some remote village of Bihar.I m learning to  cope up better with people I love I respect I want to admire things which has been left unnoticed for a long time.And in the midst of this post,I need to tell that my blogging frequency is dipping I guess professional life has taken its toll on my blogging frequency.But I know how to keep doing things I like.So I will b frequent hope so.

                              I m planning  romantically to watch OSO.Ahh,just alone.Hoping this movie will b one of those which will spark me to the level from there i will feel like erstwhile days.Less tension.High on dreams.No responsibility.Salwar-Kameez girl smiling from 20meters.Clouds are adding fuel to the scene by showering drops of rain.Chill yaar.Just writing.I mean I will watch this movie thats it.Next thing on my agenda is to buy some lovely plants I like it.Life in natural setting is always fresh,I guess.

                                    I m stopping now,without wanting,but i will come up with better words and impeccable ideas next time.No pap next time.Must read my next post,if you have been reading my blog.And thinking me next after Robin Hood.A blockbuster may b better than OSO.So zara sambhal ke kaam bahut saare hain but this is only thing i enjoy.

will b off 4 sometime

These days I have been discussing only about success with my pal.SUCCESS.Am i on the right track?Will i b able to hire Kareena and Amrita together for one single day? Am I moving towards that platform when I will b called highly successful? I guess I need centuries.Will Java really offer me life of peace? Will I b able to book Air Deccan for one night where there will b only two souls one will b Anu and another guess? No pilot No sultry beauty to offer cofffee,and I will have full freedom to hijack that plane to Maldives for Diwali.I donot think it will ever happen. 

                                 Actually I have been swapping my concept of success with my buddy.We were flipping through magazines news paper etc talking about big people how they started something from nowhere and yet established everything before 40s.A guy graduated from REC very displined used to study from the first to the last day of the semester.Got in campus interview,left that just in 4months.He went to MIT after cracking GRE with impeccable score.Finished his studies got in several MNCs now with exp of 4 years.He is now  about to b come Director of some leading Telcom corp inUS.That is success.!! That is success because the society thinks to b successful means you have to go US you have to spend time there.No matter how much peace and love you have here it is useless buddy.Money is pivotal and for that one trip is vital you can miss to say Hi to your mother but you need to reach pheerangi land.

                   But I guess not guess I m sure.If I let society define success for me i will never b able to get my own success.We donot have our own yardstick to gauge success.We are told successful means you need to get into IIT IIM  and minimum NITs/RECs.I want  an easy life.But i will b successful only if  I work for some MNC in phoenix US.Wait this doesnt make sense much.I will b successful as per society even though i m not enjoying it,nah this is total bunkum.I wanna spend time with family,but i will b successful only when i m at a job where i work day in n day out in some pheerangi land,without mental peace.Kids are crazy to get into IITs IIMsand if not then u minimum need NITs/RECs and some  s.p.jains narsee monjee etc to b come successful.A collective definition of success has been fed into their minds.  

                   So whats the way out? Seems i need myown definition of success,which will have things what i want from my self.Not the things which makes us successful in the eyes of others.Including girl friend.This is sad sweeety.Grow up.This sounds right.We all need our own definition of success.U may go to US u may work hard to get into some decent engg college later decent MBAcollege.Its upto u.

                   Anyway this is just my view.This is my last post before diwali.And i m getting busy guess wont b able to scribble anything for sometime.So have a wonderful diwali to  all of you.Full of peace no more rona dhoona no fever no late coming no missed calls.Just peace.