unexpectedly again here

The best thing about night is that you have 12 hours of freedom to  dream about anything,may b about how to  climb the  deadly pipe  which has been left untouched by  municipal people due to horror of  collapsing of it  in no time.May b about  the time you would like to spend inside the room of your pretty girl frnds house when her  brutal father and  her Rajshri Gutka inspired brother wanted to  put you in Tihar Jail for attempt to elope case ! ! In night,you can lay on your bed harking songs from the time when you even dint know about the spelling of lyrics(hindi medium se hoon raham karo zaaalim).You can plan things which will have importance only in the world of  frustrated guys,losers,backbenchers,accidently state topper also.You can b come 13 years old Anupam and you drool over on your bed like me thinking of how salman had digested the marriage of aishwarya with  a camel like Abhishek Bachchan(abhi ke fan club wale zara chill raho).So you see you have freedom of Mallika Sherawat in night to wear whatever you wish,you bolt your door from the inside and you look into the mirror,mulling,shitt i deserve a better place,why m i studying  fashion designing,i m so chirpy ineeded to b a suuupar model slightly better than Jiah Khan ! ! 

                                       After all these  uphill genus of dreams you hit your head and accept yourself as you are.As I m accepting the fact rite now that i m inch better than johnny lever.Chill Yaar.Night gives you freedom to recap your life,and move on.You wash up your mistakes and you wish to b come a saint leaving this world,leaving your pretty dreams,including  eloping with your girl friend.You think its against your nature and background.So a good night life is as important as  a dupatta  with salwar kameez for  a guy like me.I really enjoy nights.No matter how much pain i eat the whole.No matter how much insufficient i m for IT/ITes industry.No matter how much  half boiled eggs i ate up in order to start dreaming..i feeel very happy and b come real Anu ! ! And  what to say about the night when you know tomorrow is a complete halt day.I mean holiday.It reminds me of my college days.Zero watt bulb(blue color ka) shimmering  all over the room,a bevy of 10+ backbenchers(2 toppers also,naam nahi longa darr mat) and  Ricky martin  making the  milieu highly exciting,with mixture of wine plus some newly born leaves adding the flavour to the entire room.And you are talking about your dreams.How to reach California,how i need to crack GRE before leaving this dead country India.Everything.You cant think of such horrible acts in the mid day.Can you?? 

                                   If you are at home,scene b comes deadly romantic,when  Neha(kareeb ki actress) is your next door neighbour.Wait not neha exactly mixture of Neha and Kusum Ganga(mahima choudhary of pardes)  swaggering on the roof after dinner,and you too run hastily on the roof.Kasam ek choti ki,those nights are still with me,red dupatta white moon and me making ring after ring smoking Gold Flake without caring about what mrs sharma can feel as she is seeing me and her too.God jee kidhar ho??Though now things have changed.But still somewhere sometimes in night i feel like Anupam of those days.And yes i m still dreaming a lot,now just about how write the next post! !

                                   Night life doesnt mean to me a time to go to pub and dance with a narrow girl friend.Night life means space for myself.Time to access what i have achieved so far.And what i have missed during this  struggle what we call life.Night is not about  eloping with your gf,its about how to  control your emotions even when its running with the speed of Justin Gatlin.Time to grow your dreams,b come ready to charge your coming day with full of zest.Time to call home the most important thing for me.Talking with mummy,harking wisdom after wisdom from papa.Assuring them about your life and marriage,telling them how you ate up today 2 dosas without even spending penny.Naughty me.And yes a good night is incomplete without  saying;Good Night to all of you.Kyon Night deadly hai na???

online now offline

I have been feeling pretty disorganised for some days.I donot know any appropriate reason for this  mental state .Anyway so i just thought to dish out  my  disorganised feelings.Even I m not comfortable to write this post.So expecting something mindful from me is like you are expecting  Anupam Kher  with clinic plus on sony entertainment channel.Not possible.Its like Aishwarya tying  rakhi on salmans hands.So just chill.

                       For all my on line frnds foes,female frnds,sisters,and all gen is  i have decided to stop using yahoo messenger g talk,all social networking sites everything.You know this virtual world is too exacting to fulfill unexpressed desires from the people you never met. this step i have not taken b coz  laazwanti  is too shy or shelly is extra  maadern to b come my frnds.i have taken this step to relish my life and work on my professional life seriously.You see this online life is too glossy to take ur mind away from real life things.but yet you spend hours on net expecting things uselessly from people who have mental level of   my kaamwali.not all for sure.i made some real life frnds through net,i treasure them from the bottom of my heart,only from bottom.i have enjoyed those chilly offlines,beautiful mails,endless hours of chatting,met one of the them,she was gem.but now all seems a thing to remember or a time to relish when i b come Richard Branson.i need centuries.so no chance at all i guess, but despite that i will give my life to b come like him so one day i will b able to say-Hi.Rest things are gliding nice,i m quite occupied with professional life,with family,with frnds of course real life frnds.but yeah i remember all of you.you know i feel like  a sweet cat especially after drinking entire milk after a hiatus of seven days.so you all can keep in touch through blog only if you think i m still a guy with whom you can enjoy ur time den only.

                           Blog is the only stuff i m goin to continue on net.Sometimes life demands only those stuff which are  invisible from us.I m on the track to chase those invisible stuff.You online invisible people! !Talking life love success struggle pure happiness with them i realised we are same.just some of us are better to hide it and some are like me who thinks hiding is for coward.i m keeping well.in january a marriage ceremony is goin to knock me.not mine.

                          And yes regarding comment what my brother shubh jee narrated,like i need to b sober to have comments from girls.i care for all expect girls.if i find u good trust me i will make u my sis number 7.no seriously.and i wll give u esteemXL  on your marriage.though i have been a troublesome brother so far,but yet i m sweet,cute,extra shy.so b come my sisters and hop onto my blog.i promise u i will find johnny lever for you ok not happy.Tom cruise.dats good.

                      Hey have i written anything disorganised? if yes den also no sorry from my side.last post in 2007.one of the most memorable years of my life.yes.i wll keep a xerox of 2007 in my mind forever.Wait forever is not good.just for a long time.donot know wats unfolding in 2008.hope more success,peace,life around parents,evening in taj,morning in grand oberoi,day in office ,hey wat about night?? where?  

                             wish you merry christmas and  lovely 2008. 

on the juke box:itni ki tum khubsoorat  hoo,jo dekhe ghum shum ho,tumhe jo mainn ne dekha jo hosh tha wo main ne khoya…

jana kidhar hai kaka…

See, i really donot care if anyone reads this.I have fun writing what i enjoy really.But still if you   read    my blog and donot comment,this is not fair at all.I m a half vegetarian,or mostly.I m not goin to gobble  you unless I m deadly hungry.We can b frnds,good frnds,infact I can actually help you how to surmount from emotional  problems.Point should b noted,no seriously.So do leave a comment.May   b  your desire to heave me in    Somalia.What you cant do online.

                   Life is  not a funny flick Anupam!You have to learn to b serious like me.I m really serious now regarding evrything,even to pay the rent on time.May b world thinks being serious is equal to being responsible.A guy who looks very serious may b very particular about his office.The world thinks a guy who looks straight is mulling about something vital and spiritual.But may b I m not sure though he is just serious b coz of some serious stomach problem he has had for the last 1 week.May b.Or may b suffering from diarrohea made him to b come serious and gaunt like  a camel.May b. 

                                This is the way,kids are brought here,enjoying something is not useful,they have been hearing.Richa enjoys playing with her barbie doll,her mother twists the neck of her doll,tells her to finish the next chapter of algebra.Chantu enjoys essaying cricket in the terribly dirty play ground,his fathers burns the bat and orders him to study how subhash chandra bose started his mission.Surbhi enjoys scrabing her nose,but her mother slaps her so hard she has forgotten her own name.It seems like if you are enjoying,you are making enemies at home itself.

                   So  Richa  Chantu   and  Surbhi grow up to b fine young beautiful men/women/whatever who think anything near to enjoyment is useless as futile as porous condom.Success is not about enjoyment.It is sheer hard work,struggle,long journey,and    a        bit of sweat too.And this makes  success mutually exclusive with enjoyment really.If you want success donot enjoy,hey u harking??

                    Chantu,Richa,Surbhi all would die one day(bhagwan jee aisa kabhi na ho).Gone.No more.Hey guys,you left you left your dollars,cars,flat screen TV everything down here.Do i call blue dart?? to send all these up there…tell me.When it all has to end one day.Then whats the point in living life so gravely.Why crib so much about next job,next promotion,next sms next  and next.you see this next never ends till we are alive it goes on.By the way,I m sufferring from cold yet again.Fuck.All of you will die or not tell me no seriously.Even if you are not a chronic smoker like me,den also.So i smoke.But I donot drink(daactaar nurseee   main mar na nahi chahta).And what m i waiting for? For my bunglow for my ferrari,for my lazo and for my parents.For life to hurl something on me which will make me happy for ever?? I donot think life would it.Nothing can make u happy  perenially really.not having  Deepika padukone as ur wife.You want a big car and one day you get it.then again you want more flashy car and you get that also.one day you b come fat and you get a cycle to leave all those material things you worked hard to grab.painful.No outside thing can bring ever lasting happiness.Your happiness is not in 13 hour job,your happiness is right here,smell the rose,look at the sun,feel the light breeze and smell my socks.

                                   You think I m a spoilt guy without emotions,insensitive,yet to encounter the real hard life?You think I donot have worries,you think i donot have any panging memories.I have perhaps more twinge in my ass and heart than most of you really.But its when life  threatens to screw you that you need to smile and need to write all these.Its not really like i m putting my fake attitude when my insides wants to cry.I m not goin away from my pang,i have learnt to b happy in any situation really.Taken responsibility of my pain and laughter together to embrace as long as i can.Being serious is so easy really.I refuse to b serious and intense.I dont need reasons to b happy.i cant wait.A happy heart is not a product of two solid reasons.So m happy without reason.You too smile right now ! ! kal ho na ho.Oye Sohniye Ye naam kuch suna suna sa lag raha hai.

on the juke box: mere sanam mujh ko teri kasam,tujh se beechhar ke mar jayenge hum…

disgusting man ! !

Power is the word.Good word.Some  typical  asshole  policeman  mindlessly raped  a 14 year old girl( u donot need mind to do such acts ! mind u). Near a police station.Born bastard.And this is not goin to stop.Stream of  harshness by powerful people.Most of us are this way only.Travelling  in a bus,walking down the lane late in night,goin to tuition,and the way a average guy looks at a girl,it seems shameness has  lost its conventional meaning.The cop is no different,just one of them,executing his power through deadly acts.It must b tough being a girl in Delhi atleast or may b anywhere.All over,at the bus stops,shopping malls,there are certain sort of hooligans looking often to  them as an object.Disgusting in true sense of the word.

                         And even I m to blame.Even if I claim I have never to b one of these rotten minded fuckers,never I tried to stop them.Instead I often b come a mute watcher.The buss in which I travelled used to pick girls from a college,and some typical  mindless guys started passing lewd comments as it is like showering  rain in some wasteland after a hiatus of 15 years.It is necessary Boss.Else how can u say u r a male.Born powerful physically.Show it Man.Disgusting.Complete disgrace.Guys ogling at them like they were hungry or might b never felt so close to them in a crowded bus.Today is a lucky day man.Use it.And the best a coward like me can do is to offer a seat,atleast to keep one of them away from humiliation of being pushed around in a crowded buss.This is Bull Shitt.And here I m, a qualified electronics engineer,from good institute,from much better family background,and I donot have guts to save them,may b I fear being beaten up by 6ft giants with figure of john abraham,hair of david beckham,may b I fear i cant do much,I just watch,and suddenly I imagine,oh this would b the way when my own sisters used to go college when I was just 13.God.So not helping them making me equally bad I m watching,helplessly.I wish I can heave all of them with just one kick.Wait this is not any action thriller by Ram Gopal Verma,this is real life.Even if I would have tried to stop one of them,but that cudnt solve this seasoned problem of being a girl outside home alone.Its like being a girl is a crime,sin,you are responsible,you need to stomach these bunkum senseless activities going around you for you only,because you are a girl.Stomach it and move on.But how long and the most important thing why? Just being weak physically doesnt mean you are lost in this powerful world,mostly ruled by men only.Since I started to write on this issue to feel good.To feel light.To lighten up my sunday in a positive way.I feel terribly paralysed being a watcher just.May b I have dozens of sisters thats y i think i like this.May b i have grown up in a milieu where woman comes first,even to pick up a sweet from *puja ki thali*.Me always later still.May b i have been weak to attack such men by my 5;5inch height.I need to grow atleast 6ft.May b I have been confused,lotta messed up with my own things.Call me a crap guy,flirt,evrything what you wish.I donot know really what i m goin to do after this post.Nothing like  those powerful people.I m happy being a weak just a short guy without power to harass a girl.But I m not happy after witnessing such acts by powerful people.Poeple those are there to help woman,but …….nothing great can happen in this world.

On the jukebox;phool barse..jaye wo ladki jaye jahan…ek ladki ki kya sunaoo dasstan…(help them  God).