pure

Love without limits.Love without expectations.Selfless.A reason for us to b here on earth.A care for life long,without anything in return.No return can return that love.A dream of every woman.A Feeling   which can resist  even  the  most sarcastic  words  without uttering  a single word.Hello? What m i talking about??Love in its purest form.The  summit  of   unconditional  love,where world is just about your happiness,success,prayer for your good health.Yes.I m talking about Mother!  The best thing in this world.

                       Now I m coming in form.Chill.How ironic to b here  away from your home,most importantly  far from Mummy.I m habituated now.Its been 10 years.No senti.In Indian Homes we worship mother   first,before Guru and even God.The point is why Mother??Hello? Bolo.Because of her  limitless sacrifices.Donot you think,everyday is a day for a mother to sacrifice something for her  kids?? I think so.Mother is  constantly  hurling herself  into problems to save you from worldly  worms.She may b thirsty,but have you ever seen a mother drinking  tropical juice  while her kid is crying?? Nahi na.In the school we learnt  Mother is before God.The  Divine.Beyond form  gender  color shape and you can take anything.It remains same.Where ever you are.You get that love.I m typing this because of her.You are sleeping because of her,really Divine.So if we have to give some name to this Divine,to this greatness,to this wholesome,we call it Ma,Mummy,Mom(ye angrez log bolte hain,m bihari).But Why? Because when we  make our foray with this world,we enter through mother.The maiden taste of this world we get through mother only.

                            Nowadays we  walk  and often we read about unconditional love but the moment we  step on someone’s toes,suddenly it b comes conditional.Kyon Sahi Na?If you ask me where i can find unconditional love,it is only between  a mother and her Baby.We  came to this world  totally vulnerable,we bring nothing with us,no clothing,no supply of food,nothing,not even Internet,nothing.We get these things  in form of love from Mother.When we are deadly hungry,we get that brekky  as early as possible.Yelling at her-Mummy fast me can miss my school buss,fast Mummy.And  mummy gets ready before I tie my  laces.Looking extra tired,tousled hair,She had only thing in mind.how to make ready Bantu’s Brekky for school.Yeah me getting emotional.Chill.Not much needed to b happy here.just mother around you.Nice world.She takes any kind of  our liking  or need,throws herself in to anything to bring that thing.Mother lives within us.No distance can  take you away from her.Really.She holds you everytime,whenever you need her.We have to find that need only.Little work.You are never alone.

                       Mothers may nt feel,how vital the teachings  are that they give to their kids,but they are seeds.See,how decently I m writing today.Impact of Mummy.Feel the difference between  spoiled  Anupam  and   Well   brought up Anupam.Thank u Mummy.

love? always?

I donot like two words.Love and always.Both are  something quite  daunting to  continue.These two words often  bemuse me and make me feel lost right now.Yeah lost.I use  *always* quite  often  lightly.Both are related with each other.Symbiotic perhaps.Like  Dosa and sambhar.If you are in love then using always is your  prerogative,else you know your lover can feel insecure,once you spew this word like  a chimney spewing out smoke,you make things easier for the time being.Nothing is always.But yet i use you use we use *always*.Why??

                      And oftenly *always* is related to love.*I wish we could b together always*.When ever i listen this genus of line,i feel like a woman inside  a shopping mall with  no money.Samjha Bhai kya matlab hua?I just feel somewhat chained down.Its like I m expected to take care of just one person my whole  life.Disgusting.I have no problems.I can,but i want to care myself family not just one.Although its a bit more i know,I m not quite sure how to phrase what i mean.Dangerous word.B wary.Like a cliff just waiting for you to fall off it.

               I think  i have come to accept that things change,nothing is constant.No always really.However,I m sure at one point,I believed that love could last for always.Hello Chill?I always thought love could last for always.But i was wrong,nothing new,me always wrong really.My frnds relatives female frnds all are around me,I  thought they would remain same for me.I was wrong.A person i know one year  is a stranger to me the next.I have gotten used to it by now,meeting people knowing nothing about them in a blink of an eye.

                But i m lucky though i feel.i have two frnds.best frnds.know one of them since kindergarten.nikku.another guy i know him for 9 years.ashish.thats for always.yeah i have gotten *always*.though elan of relishing life with them has changed during years.but there is a connection a bond,a feeling for *always*.i feel it wont break.yeah fevicol style.We change.never remain same.but there is a connection.

m in control..

I donot drink.I donot drink.I donot drink.Yeah you heard it quite right.A  little guy cant drink.Very normal.Else I m abnormal in other ways.Not to mention.I donot wear red skirt.I donot wear lipstick.I have  a manly voice,I swear.I keep   a hair  style  which  is  unpredictable.I shave  like any other normal guy.Just that I donot drink.Then why m i  branded like a little mama’s boy.I m youngest at home thats why.I donot think so.Nor I have problem with that.

                      Now back to reality.I used to drink as much as  you drink bisleri.May b  I realized it is  just  a kind of  addiction which you do to shun  your past.May  b  I was  totally  bemused with life and  banked myself  on wine.Anyway 2 years back i left  completely,even i  refused my closet pals.I donot care really.I can drink,if i feel like drinking,not to add fuel to the mad party of 5 guys.I m hating it now.

                    Before reaching the educational jail REC-D,i  was  as soft as lambs,as innocent as morning dew of december.First time i tasted wine during our freshers party.And after that till 4 years i used to prefer Vodka  over bisleri.When i  tasted it for the first time,at first i felt,God what  a  rotten water this is.Fuck.How these eduacted guys,telling me that you need to drink this if you want to survive here.Is it so diff.to survive away from home for a 17 years old guy(mama’s boy)?Anyway,so i drunk  that night,watched seniors,hurling tee-shirts upto ceiling fans,and jumping from one chair to another like  unchained monkey.Forced me in to action.I ripped my  jacket away, and danced till  music equipment guys drove off with their stuff.

           The next morning,i  got up at 2pm,not to mention my mental state.I called  mummy,told her how i danced    and evrything.But after college things changed.College ke Ander Hum duniya ko ghuma te hain,college ke bahar duniya humein ghumati hai.I dont see any point in drinking often.I want my liver healthy.I can rely on something else to relish my spare time.Again not to mention what?May b i can blog about  my maid. All over,from the age 14 to till you are alive.People are drinking losing sense,doing things.what they cant think of in normal state.

             Most guys drink a lot of  booze.A  guy of around 16 got drunk,smashed  a  big  bottle  of  Bournvita on  the floor,second later,he jumped on the table,where he kept his  mathematics notes,maths gaya  Ramanujanam ke pass,danced on the davenport,then fell down severely,on the glass,cut his finger.Another guy,got drunk,in the wee hours,he poetically  shifted himself in the world of  Devdas.In totally out state he locks his door,in the process he is trying to lock the door from his Yamaha key.Later,he left it wide open for me to go and snatch some butter from the freeze.Thank u brother.I love u.Drink always.He hired an auto,talk nothing about the cost,reached near his Gfs flat.And all bullshitt you know what you can do when you b come Devdas after Vodka.His Paro called in police pushed him off the  4th floor of the building.Sounds fun but yeah its quite  tweaking when you drunk.

                     But still we drink.The impact of bollywood made them like that.The typical macho men,in the movies often drink.They gurt their girl friends,and dey drink.They get rejected in an interview and they drink.Mom dies,and they drink.They are happy still they drink.Only in movies may b!

                    Devdas said,you need to drink to forget your Paro.Drinking helps to drown life’s sorrows according to Devdas.My  Darling Dev(laying my back on his back),I need   a  fresh light radiating from clean heart to drown my sorrow,You lost your Paro,I lost mine.But you never own your paro,nor I did own her.We came in alone,and we will go all alone,really.Dropping the ego Yeah.I know what happened between me and her only i know.She is still somewhere.May b she is reading this piece.You love,but you have no right to force someone to agree with you.Life goes on Dev.The internet is still working,sun is rising little mild  these days b coz of foggy milieu I guess,not b coz Dev is sad ,Got it Brother.Himmesh Topi Reshammiya is still  doing great,the most bemusing stuff.Life is  a  station where you donot need to stay,instead to march for another station hoping for the better Dev.So Why drink??

                                 But still sara zamana daru ka Dewana,there must b something about it what m not feeling now.I guess something  cloylingly sweet inside that bottle.A lotta people drink.But i dont see any purpose in drinking.Chill Yaar Drink kar,no prob.

life.years.months. weeks. days. den?

My  little little fingers are still in no mood to run on the keyboard properly.but anyway fingers are back to keyboard.i just cudnt help it anyways.lemme see.cool.here i start.

           Ladies and gentlemen,a very happy new year to all of you.happpy new year to u.ur pet dogs.ur family.ur neighbours.ur postman.ur washerwoman.chill 2008 to all of you.

                   My love with insomania is still alive.yesterday i slept around 3am.did things.read books like always in the night.only good habit what i have point sud b noted.really.the year 2007 was pretty resonable.nothing changed during 2007.externally.same height.same hair style.now slightly more untidy i guess.i still munch same chewgum.i still enjoy same  people.the only thing what has changed is my perception regarding myself.the best what i have found in 2007 was that i needed  to fathom why m i so typical? why i mull about things which have values only in the K-serial.even i abhor den .another disgusting nature.But i have surmounted that typical nature.accepted my landlord as he is,wore shirts what i hate to buy.By the way,listen one song.bus ek baar kaha mera maan lijiye.nice song.I managed to start a blog and keep it going.despite knowing the fact that many of u have had strong urge to send me mail bomb and end this drama of writing.but this is the only drama i like to play.scripting things without realities.I still love same girl,u might have heard of  Juhi Chawla.yes same. 

                  I developed this uncanny funny knack to know when to stop.and i feel i sud stop now.Kyon aur likhon??VERRY vERY Happy new year to al of you again. make urself happy,make others happy atleast make me happy.seriously.

on the juke box:main yahan hoon yahan,janam dekh lo mit gayi dooriyan.main yahan hoon yahan.