Hey Girl, Just Chill ! !

Hi   Girls,

                       Well,   9:45  in the night  is  not   an  ideal  time to talk to girls,but we have nt   exchanged  much  so far  over the last  five years,  have we??  hey u  harking?

                 First  of all  let   me  make clear  what  kinda  group   i m  talking  to.Girls=girls.I m    excluding   mothers  grandmothers  and  all  higher  would b dead   by now.So  relax,it is  just about  girls.Girls=Girls.If you   are  still   bobbing   your head in an  acute    case    of    confusion,i cant help.You   all   are  supposed  to b  born  dumb.Slightly  more  than me.

                       My    childish   memory  about  this   clan,my   youngest   sister    scraples  my   soft neck  with her   pointed   nails.i have   still   that scar,no seriously,check it come .Painful i tell you.And     then   she   frets   to mummy,that  i   have   copied   maths  note   from her  notebook.Non sense.Copying   something   that too   in maths.Shitt.i did   that only in 4th semester,only complex    variables i swear.Anyway   not   a   perfect start at all.

                  In   school,  i used to carry   a   light bag,  one  water bottle,and crayon   boxes thats    it    nothing    much.i cant   carry   anything   heavy,given  my  little   texture.Now    you     girls    keep   a    coloured    bag   full  of notebooks.You  dint   shout much.You  didnt  spill   food   while   eating.You    played   games   during the  games    period,what   i find   as   boring as    watching    DD-1    Hindi   Samachaar.You   b come  mother of someone,and someone     b comes   your   grandmother…and   so   by class    6th    i     understood    and    formed   an     impression   regarding   all     of you,that    you    girls   are    just   a  thing   to   keep   in touch  after  25  only.A   kind  of    compromise.Life    is    a   series   of    compromises    not   surprises.

                                  From   class    6th to    10th.The    font    size     of    you  kept   getting    bigger   and bigger.You    people    hardly ever    had shown    any sort of     inclination   in me.And     i was     also    remain    unassuming   indifferent   to    you  people.i     was    of   the   back    benchers   gang.not   so  serious   to   attend class  and study.I    was    also   a    regular   at   being    thrown   out of the class    almost   after  every  period.i     was    the guy   girls    hate to  talk.Not    a    surprise   still   you  seee,not much has changed.You    people    like    to   relish your    free    periods with guys   who   have   immaculate   clothes,properly   combed   hair,sitting   always   in the front row.talking    only about   studies only.

                               College life.First day   two   fully   drunk  seniors  pick me   out for   ragging.They    ordered  me   to    propose   a   girl.I    clump  upto  her   and   ask   her to come.She    doesnt  care    much   and   looks   away.I   lean in  and   begged,”See  Lady.You may b  pretty even more than   Madhubala,Guys  may   chew   a  lizard  if you  order them to.But    i have    1-2    interest   in you that  is equal to  -1.Thats    the   interest  i have   in girls.Seniors   want you,not me,so just  accept this  else   i wudnt b able to   take  my dinner to night.i m out of home for the first time in my life.Have   mercy on me O u  beautiful girls”.Then   She    came    along   and   i   propsed  her  and we sang   ”Kya  bolti tu sun  suna  aati   kya khandlaa”.That   evet lasted for around  20 mins.Now  i swear   on my   grumpy  neighbour,i   never   ever   proposed  anyone.During  college   life   i   went  into  a  clan of  guys  where   we   never   talked  about girls.we had fun  doing things    without them.All   those  years  during  engineering.I   kept  my self    away  from  them  internally.

                                            But    my    perception    regarding you   changed   during   that time.First  thing,donot    use so much    make up.You   look   pretty   without it.Natural one.And   most  of you   look   like   you have    been   putting    yourself    inside   the   Nerolac    Paint   and your   mouth    looks    like     you     have     eaten    6   big    sized  bars   lipstick.And    yes    please    just    note   how    you   look   with   that    long   earrings,even    a    “poonchh    of   Bhhainns   can   b more    attractive really”.Dont    envelope    your    ear  by   earrings,you  cant  hear properly.Keep   your   hair up to   listen   us    carefully.Atleast   it   wont fall   on the plates   while  eating. Consider   tieing  it up.Healthy   for   you.

                            Anyway   it was   like that.Then   one     event ful day,   “She”  walked  into my life.She    had     good   sense    of   humour.She    was    highly mature.Terribly   shy.Nazuk.Soft   spoken.She    was   very  human   gentle   in true  sense,really i   mean  it  really   while    writing   these.All     tears    that    i gave her   still    streak   me   violently   mentally.I   thank  the   guy  with whom   she   is   now.Married.

                         Sitting    mulling     clamly   at times, i    have   realised   especially   when   i have  exchanged    thoughts   with few    good   female   frnds,some of you   are really  quite mature.Some   of you    think    deeply,think    goood   thoughts,you   are   more  sensitive  and   introspective   than guys.Some   girls   are  really   great   human beings.All    in all, you   girls   are  not so   stupid,as    i   used to   think.

              

                             And you    know    what    is    the best   thing   being   a    girl?All    of  you    will    b   a  mother   one  day.no   matter    what  kinda    of   ego u keep  all   those will   get   vanished   when   you will   b come  a  mother.no matter   how   vexing   and   narrow  you are rite now,one day  after   b coming   mother   you all will  change  in to  something  which  is   divine.Motherhood.One  day    you   goin to   create   a  life   and   nurture  it   with   an   unconditional   care   which    willl   make you   all    more   respectful.

                           But   still   there   are   certain   things   which   still   boggle   me.why   you   people  care   so much  about   looks?? tell me.Abhishek  is  married.Tom  cruise   has no time.Your   father  doesnt care how  u  look.And   any   mature  guy  wont goin to care how u look.And if   you  have found   someone,who is  just  talking  about  ur  looks,it means,he wants u,not  love u.And  yes donot  think   i m flirting   with you.i  have passed immature   stage  of life.i may  drop one   silly  offline  but that just to  feel that   life is  not  all   boring yet.thats   it.being    a   girl  or a  guy si not so  vital,important  thing is  try to b  a   better  human being.i hate    being   branded   a  lass   chaser.b coz   i hurt you,and later i hurt myself.for all that  i did.

                       anyway   nice   talking  about you.hope i have nt crossed   lakshman  rekha while typing  about you.and yes   if you  drive  bikes  and cars  please  learn  properly,there are  guys me   who  have  decent eye problem.i wont   want to b   a  HARI  KUMAR  OF  FIVE  POINT SOMEONE.Though  i want to  write! !

                      Have    a   lovely holi  to all of you.to my  frnds,to my female frnds,sisters,and all.have  fun and  lots of love.

                                                

disgusting man ! !

Power is the word.Good word.Some  typical  asshole  policeman  mindlessly raped  a 14 year old girl( u donot need mind to do such acts ! mind u). Near a police station.Born bastard.And this is not goin to stop.Stream of  harshness by powerful people.Most of us are this way only.Travelling  in a bus,walking down the lane late in night,goin to tuition,and the way a average guy looks at a girl,it seems shameness has  lost its conventional meaning.The cop is no different,just one of them,executing his power through deadly acts.It must b tough being a girl in Delhi atleast or may b anywhere.All over,at the bus stops,shopping malls,there are certain sort of hooligans looking often to  them as an object.Disgusting in true sense of the word.

                         And even I m to blame.Even if I claim I have never to b one of these rotten minded fuckers,never I tried to stop them.Instead I often b come a mute watcher.The buss in which I travelled used to pick girls from a college,and some typical  mindless guys started passing lewd comments as it is like showering  rain in some wasteland after a hiatus of 15 years.It is necessary Boss.Else how can u say u r a male.Born powerful physically.Show it Man.Disgusting.Complete disgrace.Guys ogling at them like they were hungry or might b never felt so close to them in a crowded bus.Today is a lucky day man.Use it.And the best a coward like me can do is to offer a seat,atleast to keep one of them away from humiliation of being pushed around in a crowded buss.This is Bull Shitt.And here I m, a qualified electronics engineer,from good institute,from much better family background,and I donot have guts to save them,may b I fear being beaten up by 6ft giants with figure of john abraham,hair of david beckham,may b I fear i cant do much,I just watch,and suddenly I imagine,oh this would b the way when my own sisters used to go college when I was just 13.God.So not helping them making me equally bad I m watching,helplessly.I wish I can heave all of them with just one kick.Wait this is not any action thriller by Ram Gopal Verma,this is real life.Even if I would have tried to stop one of them,but that cudnt solve this seasoned problem of being a girl outside home alone.Its like being a girl is a crime,sin,you are responsible,you need to stomach these bunkum senseless activities going around you for you only,because you are a girl.Stomach it and move on.But how long and the most important thing why? Just being weak physically doesnt mean you are lost in this powerful world,mostly ruled by men only.Since I started to write on this issue to feel good.To feel light.To lighten up my sunday in a positive way.I feel terribly paralysed being a watcher just.May b I have dozens of sisters thats y i think i like this.May b i have grown up in a milieu where woman comes first,even to pick up a sweet from *puja ki thali*.Me always later still.May b i have been weak to attack such men by my 5;5inch height.I need to grow atleast 6ft.May b I have been confused,lotta messed up with my own things.Call me a crap guy,flirt,evrything what you wish.I donot know really what i m goin to do after this post.Nothing like  those powerful people.I m happy being a weak just a short guy without power to harass a girl.But I m not happy after witnessing such acts by powerful people.Poeple those are there to help woman,but …….nothing great can happen in this world.

On the jukebox;phool barse..jaye wo ladki jaye jahan…ek ladki ki kya sunaoo dasstan…(help them  God).

wo kaun thi

Some time back some one called up at home.At home there are only 2 living legends.One is papa second of course mummy.No divorce no separation this is India.Country of Fevicol.Couples here trusts in sticking forever.No other person is there,except some helpers.Daughters are in delhi,Noida,Baroda and son is zig-zagging between Gurgaon and Delhi.Ok so one as usual afternoon our landline started ringing.Tringg tringgggg.When both of them papa and mummy were busy guzzling their lunch.Papa stood up without urge of leaving his stomach half empty,knowing he will come back again and can guzzle faster than before.Leaving something without wanting is always painful.I know.Ok so he walked over to the bedroom,angrily took up the receiver and muttered..I m just goin to type you the conversation they had for just some mins.The person on the other side of the receiver was a female,searching me.! Now  main maar janwa uske finger pe jisne mera number dail kiya.

Papa-Hello

She-can i talk to Anupam?

Papa-what??(like someone asked him how much money you have in your new bank account) No he is in Delhi.

She-can I get his number.its urgent     

Papa-but why do u want his number?ur name n from where you are speaking..(one can feel this situation when you have only son who is on threshold of Big M.that too in state like bihar.Where son rises before than sun.beta gaya haath se)

She-My name is priyanka m calling from delhi.Anupam promised a job.which is why…

     Now I give her ten millions of roses for lying like this.First I donot know any one with name Priyanka.And job from me its like you are expecting a baby from 93 years old lady.Biologically imposible.I m still in a state to fathom why that lass or lady made that sort of call that too at home.As far as my memory goes on I have nt given my home number to anyone for the last 4 years.No one knows.And I have to slap my head hard to reconcile someone from the past who could thinking of doing such weird thing.Weird because she lied.First name second reason of calling.

                               Anyway when papa narrated me this story inspired by K-serial thoughts.We three laughed for some decent mins later mummy seriously asked me.Tu kisi ko janta hai iss naam se? And I swore mummy..nooooo you know I have been away from all this for the last 3 years.Before that you know about her.Suchii mummy koi nahi hai.Whoever you are madam I donot know you nor wish to know you.But I didnt like the way of remembering me.I expect more decent and sober way of calling me telling your real name.Telling my  parents about how I gifted you big teady-bear without having penny.You would have expressed your feelings more directly rather than this confused way.Which made me to think that woman can also b a coward.Madam aaj kal ki aurten toh father ke saamne bhi nahi sarmate hain.Aap kis duniya se ho.zara bata bhi do.Getting crush on you.May b you wanted to talk to me.May b you wanted to clear out things before your marriage.May b you wanted to tell me…Anu plz come back I m still same no change still wearing that salwar-kameez you gifted me 4 years back.I still resemble Mausmi Chatterjee.Ok but dear this way you can only make more in state where I can see two sides of the road one is heading toward jahannum if I show any serious inclination second one is rising toward impeccable future of mine if I take this call like a mistake done by me in class 3 after entering into the ladies toilet without knocking and…(ye batana zaroori hai).I mean,I can only amuse myself and can say.Oh m still getting calls from girls.That era has of calls has passed long time back.Madam you just try another number.I m sure this number of mine must b giving you pain of me when I miss her may b.I know my ken regarding women sucks like vaccum cleaner.I know you may b someone too good to ignore.I know you must have ahd some rock solid reason to lie and hide your real name and reason too.I know you have b come like mother teresa at the age 26 due to lack of cosmetics.No cosmetcis without Anu.I trust you b coz you still thinkyou can trust me.I know you are still wrapping your dupatta around your hen driven neck.I know everything.But just donot want to write.This is enough more than.

                         The most startling part of this puzzle is how can someone in this information age could rely on landline?Abee tuu koi sarojni naidu ke time se toh nahi hai?I m on ryze,on xing on orkut(though not always) I have millions of yahoo ids..most of theem are now dying severely due to dearth of suitable time and of course suitable lass too.Next time if you want to get in touch with me.Just drop oh donot drop just sail smoothly on your e mail id some lovely words full with innocence decency and a little bit of anger too. I prefer ahh not prefer I die to someone I like to b in anger.Angry face says only love.So sail it to -Anupam_Jha14@yahoo.com

                               I m not waiting.Nor ever I will.No time.But please donot make my parents angry at me.I will kill you else. Kill me donot kill me kill me donot kill me Anuuu.chal ye song gaa de.

a surprise post…

If  Mikhail Gorbachov can think of being a part of a ramp show.If  Rakhi Sawant can b come a social activist that too with her  semi naked dress.If  Rahul Dravid could fail to give a decent performance against less formidable attack.If  Sameer(teffin wala …) could mug Rapidex english speaking course book.Then….why not I write this blog as regularly as I wish.I heard once awareness is the first step towards excellence.O I dint hear this actually I read this while flipping through the pages of one of the books written Gunahon Ke Devta.Nahi samjha.Its  ok donot give stress of Sonia Gandhi when she speaks Hindi on your head.I will come back to this later.Since from my childhood,I have kept my grammar as weak as knowledge of sanskrit for Hillary clinton.I have a terribly horrible grammar.Now got the point I think so.So  when I thought of penning blog the whole world attacked on me.O tu likh ta hai kya? O tune kabhi kuch ..pehle bhi likha hai kya?? Anyway….today I thought why not I would accept myself  as  a weak writer who thinks 234 times before writing one single sentence.So…if you find something as misplaced as saree ka aanchal of Bipasha Garam Bashu.Then leave it as it is.  It looks penetrating only when it is slightly misplaced.!So donot consider me as a grandson of shakespear or close relative of Raj kamal jha( bhaiya sorry blog mat dekhna suchii main suicide kar longa).The inspiration of writing something  actually started long time back.When I read the word awareness.When I was vigorously reading books 2 years back landed up in delhi for my visa process.Hell that time was.I started reading books written by lord of broken guy,mashiha of poor guy got it.The ragpicker of modern times.Ok now donot tell me..samjh gayi  samjh gayi….You cant I know..your ken of reading books is as low as my BP in october last year.He is a writer name is Robin Sharma.Samjhi stupid.I missed my dinner my lunch even forgot to comb my hair while rushing for interview.In the beginning I dint like it was like a romantic movie in which Pratibha patil acting opposite of Kader Khan.But gradually very gradually I crawled up the jist of his books.It took me some time donot b surprised I have been a slow guy all through my life so far.The best I have got after reading such self-help books is I m no burden on this earth.There are people who have messed up more than me and touched the stars that too without the help of any NASA inspired people.I cant hate myself I understood after reading such awesome books by him.I have to spend a lifetime with myself.How can I think of such a  badd word   for me. nahi..main bura nahi hoon.I M NO MEAN.I had to accept that I m short but not inferior.I m just different.And during the process of reading I learnt the best art of which still makes my life as beautiful as Richa-I learnt to laugh at myself at my uncanny way of seeing this world.Not the lack of self esteem but  a parley with the reality and I understood most of the times we fuel our ego to lose our peace of mind.O boot hua.I m not for u.I m for myself for my family for my sweet dear darling frnds from REC-Durgapur for frnds from muzaffarpur.But more than the great writer the one person who helped me during that dark time is my mentor.My real guru my sister eldest one.

                                    I see my marriage as being anarranged one.When I visit girls house.I would sip some coffee smile at the girl and look at her stupid brother with agogness to Bhag jaa saale.I see her smiling from back door.She is shy who looks 234 times in her Timex Watch before uttering one single  word.I see her cooking Aalo fry  with attention of  Tom cruise while kissing Kate Holmes.I mean she would b good.Now I feel that she must know something about my darker side as she is the one who would stomach me all my life.I would tell her how I once dreamt of marrying juhi chawla when I was 14.I would tell her she is prettier than priety zinta in shoulder(Kandha O hindi main yahi kahte hain na.bhai log jo angrez ho agye hain).These bollywood directors are indeed aware how to dance with lizards.I mean I will not hurt her ever.Thts it.Hurting others for me is like hurting myself.I will take her every wekend to Macdonalds without selling her mangalsutra.I will carry my little daughter with any help from nearby vegetablemonger.Whe someone is leaving her parents her family her pets dogs her 12+ boyfriends to marry its my big responsibility to keep her happy.I want some girl as stupid as me not some one who would later looks for someone more decent and civilised than me.Civilisation has lost its beauty in this maaadern time long time back ago.

                             But m i really mulling over marriage? No No..not before 2008 december.Not donot say…main wait karungi Anu…donot wait.Dont wait and if u do den i wll put on top of India gate!!

                                 

hata sawan ki ghata!

Lately,I have been hitting orkut.And this is not the first time I m here.In 2005 I made my first ID.Stayed here for 1 month.Deleted after seeing that I m just alone no one is here except me!.I guess during these 2 years lot of water has flown through Ganga.A struggling guy wandering like unchained monkey now  bought a Wagan-R.O jee not me.I need centuries to buy something of 1+.But one thing what I really donot fathom is why people are pasting pics of Bollywood stars on their respective profiles.Ok,you are comfortable imaging yourself very much like Salman.She is happy seeing her self like Kajol.Kajol is sweet.I agree.But you are sweeter than her.Just look from my eyes.Got it.No.Ok,you are tension free hey see I have pic of Lindsay Lohan on my orkut profile.I m western.I speak hinglish like Paris Hilton and capable of cracking any BPO interview.That too acceptable but your own identity should b DNA of your personality not other way around.   

                               On a different note,Milieu is quite romantic.I wish I would have Dia Mirza as my neighbour.I wish I were a little kid of age 12.So I could watch her without thinking of what my present GF would do if she finds me in Dias arm.Kids are pardonable.The amount of sugar in a fully prepared Rasgulla is surley lesser  than sweetness of a7 years old tot.Dia Mirza means Indianness,Innocence,Decency shyness,Naturally beautiful.And fully covered.Whenever I get time and I think of roaming  to any cool place,where at least I can a get decent chance of viewing someone like her.But my  tortured brazen heart and  and a mind which ahs lost its peak never even get a glimpse of her.This world is of Rakhi Sawant and Mehgna Naidu.I hate them.I m very much aware hate is  a bad word.But I hate them.More than I hated my college bully who used to sing raunchy songs in front of a mandir that too with complete pelvic gyrations.I hate woman with lesser clothes.I wont hate you if you wear nothing at home.You have that complete prerogative of being naked at your home.But if you show your strap publicly when you are surrouned by all types of mindless creature.You cant blame to someone for being indecent to you.I guess they feel,wearing less,showing more makes them look as as irresistable as  Salma Hayak.O O again I m veering.

                                 This 2nd innings of blogging has been bitterly tough for me.I have no time for blogging.I m busy.I need to buy bMW.I need money to buy a mangalsotra for my GF.Else she may fly away like others.*Anu main ja rahi hoon 1 year ho gaya kuch nahi diya abhi tak*.And me as always I use my humour ans  something like.Life is too short to take something from someone,donot take give me!But now I m changed.I have started giving gifts to girls without asking even names!So if you feel and think that you too need something as precious as  dilapidated flooters of Julia Roberts.You can contact me.I have no GF…..FEEL free b come one.Fitness is mandatory though,see yourself first then get in touch.Figure is pivotal.

Song of the day:-Donot touch me donot touch me,touch me touc h me soniyaaa…