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There is a difference between a great writer and a popular writer.

Life minus kachra people

There is something amazingly sweet about the song “janam dekh lo” from Veer-Zara.It makes me dodder into the contemplative state of mind.Its like:

Me: How can someone b come so coquettish? Nah.. not possible,i have some problem in my head.

*Someone zapping out remote control to view something nice.after a series of sounds resulting from the various news channels,other soap opera.and he settles on a channel and the soft song of Veer-Zara floats in*

Me: Why m i born? sudden reincarnation? do i have vitality energy seeing me right now?

I mean you get the idea.Songs like these take my mind away from real life stuff.Like zoom channel,my neighbours maid’s family planning, and the bright red tomato i just bought.Songs like these shut me down,a rest,temporary rest may b,step back a little,look at my life, and say “Hmmmm, i would have done that thing 3 years back?This could have been better? Should i do this? m i chill really? Songs like these make to look at life as a whole,and not the meagre and speedy things that rattle life.And whenever i do that,i listen such catchy numbers,a small group of white dove type creatures start hovering over my head,sometimes scrape my skull inside my head,with their cooing sounds, and say-”Hi,Anupam, remember us? We are regrets you have”.Now at least i m not a guy who mulls over my regrets with concentration of a teen age girl while buying a nail polish.Seriously.I dnot take them to heart.Letting them to just hover over my head and me with regret proof helmet on me.I hardly mull over the incident when i pushed a lady in the buss so hard later she started bleeding just b coz she was abnormally trying to hit me on my chest.or may b her fake angrezi accent.But still there are things i wish i had( a red sports car open one.three blondes sitting on the back munching and jumping out of sheer excitment,and the fronr seats stuffed with dollars,and many more things) things i wish i could do( replace harsha bhogle during a match at SCG,publish an article in TOI as soon as possible,breakfast with Deepika,dinner with Juhi chawla and so on).

Like i wish i would have decent good looks which would make me get up early morning every day,look into the mirror and say-Hmmm.you should b in a movie Boy! Right now i m like shit! which shit head invented mirrors? Especially place like Delhi where every next guy looks like he just came out from lakme Fashion week ramp.I wish company post me to some remote village in bihar where all guys look like an accident victim,so all the “gaon ki chhoriyan”go crazy crazy over shehari babu .My bollywood knowledge says, me every rural romance starts from when the guy asks for water from her matka near the bank of the river.much not knowledge i have sorry for guessing.so i shall hang around the river,may b around well tooo.

And i wish i would nt have caused so much hurt to people nor they would have given me so much head breaking moments to me.i really have dissapointed a lot of people i know.violent repurcussions in fact.

And i cant dance.while the rest of the world scare away traffic police and the people by their gravity defying dance movements in a “barati” i adjust around nodding smiling at relatives i saw 10 years back.even my mummy can cross any packed traffic faster than me i m sure.but i donot have that rhythm to pull myself into that groove.the only animal can match is the horse,he can understand my pain,what with a well fed groom perched on his back,a thousand watt band blaring in his long ears,and a road full of dancing and prancing maniacs facing him.

Anyway this is just a post to chill out the steaming last two weekends.moreover,just a very superficial skimming of my regret bank.i havent even started about the bigger and whackier skeletons in my almirah which when let out can make for one big week long round of discussions over cups of coffee and rounds of chinese burgers.i m talking about tiny tiny mosquito bites when i can talk about the firing of shallow words.but life is short i m too.and i donot even want to talk about that.really.no need to soak in to “dukh ka sagar”lest you should spend the rest of your life gulping spills of depression.it is just that this song makes me to feel “life is beautiful” all dreamy and i type down stuff which is a great disgrace to any trace of logic,grammar and sense.I guess i will now switch over to my dinner.nothing can come between me and my bhookh.

nancy interview i like u

After   letting    the   commentbite   venom to     circulate   inside   of  me  and   then   after  b coming   venomous    cruel   gauche    i    wrote   the   last   post,I   know   enough   for   you  readers   to    think   of    me   slightly   more   cruel   than   Hitler.Would   b  far  better   if    i  had  not allowed    the    commentbite  venom  to   swirl   inside  for  more  than   one  second.Chill.I    know    this   chill    seems   like    taking   out   one   drop  of  water   from   pacific   ocean.But  what  do i do.i   can   only   try   to   make   myself    more    social,more    adjustable   to   people   their    words,advices.But   still,  i  m  running   this   blog   now   for   around   one  year.and    its   a   life  blog.Not   me   spewing  about    growth    of    IT  industry,not   about   how   much   money    Zinta    has    thrown   into   the  IPL.i    just   write   to   laugh   and    whenever   i feel   that    life   is   throwing    enough  on  me. then  i write.

 

                                           Above    paragraph    looks    very   official  burning  without    any  fire.And   hey    that    particular    girl,a   little   bit   of    anger  is   necessary  in  life.Not    that  anger   which  leads   to   world  war  3.Kind    of   confusion   misunderstanding   when   we   combine    then   only   life   looks  beautiful.Imagine    you   are  watching   Lalu  Yadav   on  TV  without  any  volume.Still  funny  but   no  thrill.So   you  better    take   my anger  in  that   way.Chill..abbb kya  main   kapooter  ke  ander  ghoos  ke  tere paas   aake  sorry bolon kya???

 

                           When    i was a  kid,i   thought     my  papa   was   a   book  reader,nothing  else.So   one   day   my   nursery   teacher   asked    the   kids   to  name   their  dad’s   occupation,I  said,” mere  papa  sirf  book padhte hain”.It     was     only   he   started    teaching    me   english   grammar   in   class  8th,i   understood   he   is   a  professor  and  hod  of english at  L.S.college.Shitt.But    to   my  little   brain      he   remained    an    ardent   vivacious     book  reader.Still.i   have   never  seen  anyone    in  my  life   who   have  so  much    inclination  for   reading,may   b    b ecause   of   profession,but  then    accidently    i  m also   an  electronics   engineer  but    my    interest   is   somewhere else    not    in   anything  technical  at  all.  I  mean   he     loves   reading.By   the   way,i   want   to   fret  to  papa   for  teaching  me  grammar   properly.See   the  result.i  still    carry    a   horrible   grammar.

 

                                        One   week  back  when   i   was   talking    to  mummy,i got  a  news  of   someone   who  used  to   b   our   dearest   uncle,now   no  more.He   was   around  75  i  guess.the   moment   i  heard   this   news,that  song   of   movie  Devdas-Maar  Dala  started   hitting  in  the   background  of    my   mind.But   seriously,trust  me    death    scares   me  a  lot.what  about   you  people?It   scares   me   to   b   away   from   my    loved  ones    forever.i wont   b able   to  type   this  blog  ever  if    i die   rite   now.Kalmoohe,Manhooos.But   death    is   real.Like   birth,  everything  is   superficial   except   birth   and    death.Wait   better   i    publish    this   post.who  has   seen   the  future,may   b    Bejan  Daruwala.Now   give   me   a    big     pat   please    give,for   this      awesome    discovery.I    have    seen    lives   scattering   in  no  time.A    27  years   old  guy   crushed    down    under   the    truck    when    he    was    heading   toward     Nalli  Saree  store.I   know    m  not  writing  anything  new.may    b     its   boring  hai na.reality    bites   yaar   since    from  the   time  of  adam and eve. Khoosh   raho,donot  expect  much   live   a  simple   life.do  great  thing   but  donot expect   great  results.beyond  you.and   please   donot   consider  me  next   to  Hitler.

                              

watching

 In spite of I m getting  closer to the end of my bachelorhood.In spite of  I m feeling  like a salman khan forced to have hair on the chest.In spite of I m cooking up things mindlessly.I have not missed to enjoy life as much as pakistan team wants to thrash India in the next game.In my own.Diwali went by like a  tennis match between  maria sharapova and navjot singh sidhu.Aree bhaai samjha na kya matlab hua.Else,things are as ussual .Plain.

                                   At this station of life now I cant expect to spend thousands on firecrackers,nor on new clothes.Instead,I would like to hammer hard my brain to get over from fiddle things.But just for the information to aall of you,I m still a kid to hammer myself for my faults.I need someone who reminds of my goofs.I need someone who can happily stomach my stupidity without yelling *ueeeemmaa*.Anyway now donot stop reading this blog just b coz I m writing things which has importance only in some remote village of Bihar.I m learning to  cope up better with people I love I respect I want to admire things which has been left unnoticed for a long time.And in the midst of this post,I need to tell that my blogging frequency is dipping I guess professional life has taken its toll on my blogging frequency.But I know how to keep doing things I like.So I will b frequent hope so.

                              I m planning  romantically to watch OSO.Ahh,just alone.Hoping this movie will b one of those which will spark me to the level from there i will feel like erstwhile days.Less tension.High on dreams.No responsibility.Salwar-Kameez girl smiling from 20meters.Clouds are adding fuel to the scene by showering drops of rain.Chill yaar.Just writing.I mean I will watch this movie thats it.Next thing on my agenda is to buy some lovely plants I like it.Life in natural setting is always fresh,I guess.

                                    I m stopping now,without wanting,but i will come up with better words and impeccable ideas next time.No pap next time.Must read my next post,if you have been reading my blog.And thinking me next after Robin Hood.A blockbuster may b better than OSO.So zara sambhal ke kaam bahut saare hain but this is only thing i enjoy.

a real dumb

The distance between  the sun and  earth is pretty much.And the distance I have to trudge before  I can b come a responsible member of the society is almost more than that.But still one thing which is tweaking in some kind of meaning in my life these days,is  a kind of inclination I have for something,thing I lost sometime back.And I m tragically happy to have her  just as a frnd.A little thought of her nibbling on my head,pushing me mindlessly to write something rite now.Plus the kind of milieu I witnessed yesterday evening at Cafe Coffee Day.How can someone in public behave like a tainted whore?? Chill.This is my way of expressing things what I donot like.So bear it,if you are reading this piece.

                             Though most of the times.I shun these places like Barista,Cafe Coffee,Pizza Hut etc etc.Never I feel to go there order something stare at couples heartlessly showing affection and care publicly without shame.This is India.And its shining.Great.I hate.But due to her haunting charm yesterday I b came like O-I FEEL-YOUNG,and walked into Cafe Coffee Day Saket,South Delhi.Almost 30mins from my flat.So I entered into the Cafe,felt like an alien for 2mins.And sitting there chewing  vegetable sandwich,I shamelessly looked around all the couples who sat around me.Cuddling each other,putting a piece of something in his/her mouth forcibly,one of the guys was crawling his fingers on her so called girl friend.I donot know how many such fingers have been moved on her.Holding hands.Shy  smiles.Giggling loudly.Ahh,suddenly one word very familiar one even my maid’s son who is just born 2 months back must b fully aware of that word.Love.I thought then,chill they are in *love*.If you have just tumbled on this planet earth then I m sorry,else everyone knows about this word.*Love*.So all the couples there were in serious love.Great.I hate this greatness.

                                 Ok love.It is  as overused a word as a public toilet.Commonest of the common.Bollywood is shining because of this word.Else there creativity of making movies has been thrown awaay long time back.Great.The greatest invention for them,next after newtons 3rd law. A typical bollywood director can wear his pants without underwear,but he cant think of one movie without a tang of this word.Love.And very unfortunately yes very if you missed this word in a movie,its usage in real life is quite abundant,as is the usage of guns in Iraq.

                               My friend says, he is in love with a girl who works at the 3rd floor of his office.I m told the punjabi kudi who is my next door neighbour has enormous crush over a south indian hairy male.The other day,I saw Samir(tiffin wala) heartlessly waiting at 11 pm.When he saw me.He felt like I have stolen his 32 teeths altogether that too without even single whiff.When I asked him,Kya kar raha hai abhi raat ko? He shyly answered…Wo aane wali hai.May b they are in love too.Another Great.Even in cyber world this word is creating lot of hungama.Ye Toh Mujhe Pata Hai.I swear.

                     And then this boyfriend-girlfriend thing.Its like a tooothbrush.You got to have one.Else you are useless.You have cancer.Ok everbody dies one day.Hello,He has been suffering from AIDS.Chill,Shilpa Shetty also had in one of the movies,nothing new.Namaste jee,my mansion burned down last night.Areee tension nahi yaar,loan mil jayega.*Hey I donot have a girl friend*.WHAT??!! Why dint you tell me about this earlier,I wud have given u number of my Gf’s friend.Oh you pooor boy.Everything will b fine.God also can b cruel like this never I thought.

                         So love is like a neighbour gossip.We all know about this.Talking about love.And the way this word is used,leaves me feeling uncanny,strange. I feel there are two different aspects.To love someone.And to b loved.It is a fact,*tob loved* is a natural need.Its a need not love.As long as you need that person,you donot lover her.Because you need her.You love yourself in the process you want someone who stands out with you.That is your need.Love is not meant to b selfish.Love is quite harder and selfless than that.To love is not to wish for someone to b with oneself,but to give up oneself for that special someone.Love is not about holding hands walking under bunyan trees in winter.It is about even if you are miles away from that someone,even if you know you are not goin to see her ever in your short life.You just wish her happiness,you radiate a kind of affection which may b invisible for the world but it gives pleasure of your life.Without expecting anything,you pour lovely words for her happiness.Thats love.Love is not in her coming toward you near a beach,but to care for her when you know she would not come to you ever.

          For me,true love is not about the scene with your lady,where white clouds  are floating around your neck,a kool breeze doing something which makes the milieu romantic.And you b come a kind of crazy to say her.Hey sweety I love you.And you think of salsa and holding her tight against your half manly chest.Chill yaar.For me its just a beauty in which you consume your self so much that you forget your pains and smile,just b coz she smiled somewhere,knowing you no longer around her exists.

                  Wanting her happiness,with you without you.

         I m wondering,if the word love is used for selfish reason,selfish desires,wants wants from a woman.Get up,now,I m no authority, no love guru no shiny ahuja nothing.I have flunked my love exams miserably,that too every time I tried to pass.But when I see couples in love.I feel strange.I feel something must b gone within them.I donot know what.I m not insulting anyone’s feelings,just that I feel that to love someone supposed to b very deep and tough thing to obey nowdays at least for a guy like me.Love is a responsibility commitment big thing.Its about her not about you anymore.I m not trying to b saint here,please.Just that I felt to write on this long due project.And if I m really not making any sense please forgive me.After alll I m still a DUMB.

fun to b with u

Life is fickle like political situation of Banglaadesh.People are unpredictable like batting form of Virender Bald Sehwag.I m indecently decent like  Aditya Pancholi.illaaaa.This world is a river of pretentions.Fools  are  intelligent,cheaters are honest,frnds are foes,foes are frnds,and all of us  go through such tough times to acknowledge the reality.Its really uphill to fathom what we are sometimes.Yesterday I was your best frnd,today I  hate to see you even on a cracked mirror.Gawd,I m not talking about myself.Just  this very concept flashed in to my mind.We are so wary of others sometimes we forget what we are.I mean what others think of us.Got it.We lose our own peace solitude and space too.We fear sudden outcast abhor.

                               But what  I think is trying to please others is like moving Mount Everest.That person may b your girl friend,your wife,your parents your best friend,your most beautiful maid(but this is easier i know).There are very few very few people who really will appreciate you when you do something good.Most of the time people get jealous,they can start gossiping about your success.Whenever I have achieved something(though very rarely) apart from family and few very good frnds,most of the people felt bad I doubt.Therefore,I have developed i-dont-care attitude about what others think about me.I often try to b my own self.Its really difficult but once you develop this,life b comes beautiful,though not  as dazzling as legs of MAMTA KULKARNI. I act decent decent but I m not.Do you hear?? I mean I pretend to b decent.God suchii koi paap na ho jaye. 

                                      It is easy to gather a big clan of frnds to celebrate your success after getting a high rank in joint entrance  exam.What is really difficult is to find someone  when you walk alone on the roads to find a meagre job.It is easy to attract a girl when you are driving BMW.what is difficult is to find someone when you are hand to mouth.It is easy to make relatives when you are doing impeccable.What is difficult is to have one such relative when you truly need them.Ye Kya Hua Mujhe.Pagal toh nahi hua.No I m happy.Some special reason I know I can write about that.So I have some great frnds some excellent relatives evrything.But the journey of the last 2 years ,made me a guy who just want to b with his ownself.When I tasted success I was alone.And today also again I have tasted something(not karela)…I want to b alone just for 1 hour.Chill.Being with my ownself is always sweeter than anything in this world.I know I have written a real crap today.I know.you can laugh like Kadar Khan that too sans teeth.I donot care.Above crap doesnt amke sense much,I know.But I just wanted to write.just wanted to express how typically phony this world is sometimes,though.

..me with my space

There are times in life.When I want to remind myself about my own childish and horibble things I have done in my life.There are times in life when I want to kick hard that buried memories from my mind so hard,in the process I hurt myself.There are times in life when I want to sit and like to ask myself,where have I been all through those years.There are times when I just feel good when I m alone.It may look as bizarre as mallika Sherawat in white lioncloth but trust me I feel happy and good when I just walk down alone in the woods drops of rains may b not enough to sooth and calm down my torrid senses of uttering words.I enjoy lonliness.It seems I have indeed forgotten how to show complete 32teeths altogether on a silly prank spoken by a beautiful lass with a dirty soul.I have seen how could a beautiful face can show an ugly soul with time.And  I m happy.Over the last 2 years I have learnt lesson of my life.Its like  an imaginary button tells me ..(.Anupam donot expect anything from anyone.)The moment I see someone unleashing sympathy and care for me…from outside family.I feel afraidness of  a cute girl especially when she is surrounded by 3 mike tyson type figure.One can imagine only.I have 3-4  close frnds with whom I enjoy my spare time.Along with my family.I m a kind of guy who would like to help you only when I b come sure of ur intentions of getting help from me!! Expecting sweet little things from someone is the biggest sin of this world.It hurts badly as badly as a slap of sunny deol on a sweet 8 years girl.O mar jayegi.

     Expecting nothin makes your life beautiful tension free as kool as cyprus.I guess my life would b more peaceful if I minimise my expectations from people. I think I should give it a try.It may b come a kind of dry and bland existence.But it can b worth trying.After all I like to b alone.In the middle of this post I feel now better.The pain of deleting somone from your f list is not much than missing the voice of my sweet darling mummy.The closet person.I need privacy so plz Mr…manoj donot call me.I need comfort rite now I m busy Mr.Rakesh…I need time to call someone Miss  Shruti plz donot call me btw 8 to 10.I mean I can do such silly things to feel good I can ignore 234 people at the same time.But the moment I see my home number twinkling on me cell.I yell.. I jump I say No space no privacy …rite now I m a public animal. I can slap hard to the HR of Wipro for rejecting me thrice.But I cant go against my mother.I can burn the pony tail of my 1st crush O Richa.But I cant burn dreams of my mother regarding me.I can carrry a scar resulted from the sandle of 2 beautiful girls 7 years back.But I cant see one spot of pensiveness on mothers face.Its been now 1 year I m missing home.I talk everyday and I wish there would b some technology which could parcel me at my home without any ticket without the worry of coming back to office.Sadly there is nothing like that.Patience pays I heard someone told me when I was 7.Hope next time when i will land up at my home.I will not embarass my mummy by showing my dirty socks and unkempt tee shirts and jeans.

                      I mean I m very eclectic.very selective when It comes to relationhsip of any kind.thats it…I m so sorry i wish to eat butter toast which has been sitting in the north side of  my room.I mean I m just hungry.I m not philistine at all.O SAMJHA….nahi  toh koi baat nahi boot creative soch hai mera.