So i need to wake up to the astringent fact of life.Choosing a life partner.Without smashing your mother’s years affection.Convincing your parents without being selfish.Toughest job and it demands maturity which i seriously lack.And i dnt grumble too.Chill.This is a decision as enormous as Gopal Das tower Connaught place Delhi.Appreciate my humor even in this tough situation what life throws.And a girl who would b happy watching my scabrous table manners.Eating with both hands even in a 5 star hotel.
And with all this, a jerky internet connection along with whimsical milieu of Delhi has forced me to doodle here without a tinge of worry what anyone of you would fathom out of this blog.Seriously. I just wish rite now to ring up to God ji and say-”plz get me back to age 25″.

And this year, my parents actually bought birthday cake for me.Knowing the truth that their jerky only youngest among all son is celebrating his last b day before marriage.Glowing candles,loved ones clapping hands,and stuffing pieces of cake one by one into my mouth made me to realise how pure and selfless they are.Lynch your emotions you emotional fool,a part of me said to me.Confused i m.Warranted.So ladies,wake up,still some of you have time to pass the application,those who have been appreciating my hogwash humor,through offlines,one liner mails and through this blog too.Married ones sorry.Kidding.Chal ja na.badi aayi hai.

By the way if you have moved by the content written above.Please dnt forget to remember me at least once in a 3 months….no? I will kill you.

But if i look back at the over all stuff, i mull, i need to bring some balance in my life.I need to ask myself some questions regarding the questions hovering over my head what i have flashed in the first paragraph in this post.

Writing good comments on my blog,making me happy and telling me always to b a person what i never was,giggling on my non-sense jokes and accepting me in the way i m.I whole heartedly appreciate.But the difference between a girl friend and a would-b wife is as massive as a jupiter.A cupboard filled with 100plus gold flakes packets,unless my maid tells me-”bhaiya kachre wale ko de do abb”.And my socks which can wake up a Kumbhkaran at 3am during chilly december nights is something i need to remind myself.After 2 years my wife says to herself-”how could i marry this nut?”

People mull,oh getting into top college, being a teen so flummoxing, but i feel, choosing a girl forever is the most confusing thing in the world.Pardon my dear.See the title.

You know,it changes the way you think.You realise that marriage kids and wife’s expensive nature scruffy beauty parlor bills may b nearer than you think.

If you think,oh this guy is gone, weird you need to smell my socks.

But the central part of this part is-You do it your way.Clear up your mind.And you know you cant find a guy in this world more paasitive than me,clap for this attribute please.So just chill.

Chill maaaaaaaaaarooo yaroon,i m getting back for some cigarette a packet of butter,half kg onion and a yellow packet in which you find snakes like stuff.Guess what? ….Maggi yaar? Remember?

By now i guess Mrs Khurana’s make up would have disappeared,and Mr khurana’s as usual anger of having a bad looking wife has been returning on his wrinkled face. Beauty ends.Character lives.Hope Mr.Khurana would realise this before i meet Mrs Khurana in the next diwali.Anyways,the timing is perfect,to write something, something,to bring some fun in the environment, resulted post diwali night,the lull,and nothing could b more profitable and exciting than writing a post here.History says.

From the time, when i bought firecrackers till my dad’s bank balance looked as clean as Rakesh Roshan’s head.From the time,when by mistake,Mrs Jha’s sweet’s packet loaded with kaju-burfi(on the back of the cover with a “i miss you”) created an earth quake at my home,from the time,when my three consecutive rocket bombs made Mishra’s garden like a battle field.it may leave street dogs restless for the whole night.it may leave me to watch dil hai ke manta nahi thrice.I understand all these,i have been through all these,but trust me when i say,a year with out a Diwali is like enjoying Navratra but there are no girls around
you .Still, good, but no excitment.

A time to break away from clients,sales, and the direction in which my life is heading in, and rather an unusual moment when i secretly pick up the hot gulab jamun from puja ki thali before puja,and burnt my finger,still a scar on my shortest finger.

You smell Diwali is around the corner,when you see,ladies from age 15 to 75,start washing stuff from a spoon to all bed sheets,from windows to the bottom of sofa sets 3 weeks before.

The swapping of sweets with friends relatives is another domain lives upon recycling resources only a woman can possess-Mishra aunty gets kaju burfi given by Jha uncle.The mad angle packets from Sharmas gets a place in Saroja aunty’s house.

Firecrackers are an integral part of Diwali.Its all great.Unless your bestest of best neighbour’s most beautiful daughter’s skirt got burnt.And your mother takes it too seriously.

Knowing my nature,my mother’s view on use of firecrackers would b as hot as Bipasha’s legs.Really.So me being a great admirer of anything “hot” i planned to rocket some rocket this Diwali.

A day before Diwali i strolled upto my mother as she was standing in the kitchen,when six sharp knives were around here,seeing the surroundings,i thought to b a little chill,soft,and you know how to please a mother when you want a favour.I murmurmed-”mummy iss baar phaataka for te hain”.

Mummy-Chup rah!!yaad hai kaise tu ne Richa ka dupatta jala diya tha,bechaari bach gayi bas!

Me-Mummy chill,wo to mein ne jaan bhooj ke kiya tha!!

The permission was gained only when i told her that i would nt b jalaying anyone this time.Grown up maa.trust me.And marry a girl of her choice.Ladies sorry.

Note:- I have no idea why the second rocket yesterday night jumped on Mrs Juneja’s shoulder.Chill.Mrs Junejas later came and mutttered this-kya hua aunty abhi nai forega phataka to kab? Her ways of looking at things in an extremely positive ways has made me so positive that later in the night i dreamt of dancing with her 27 years old beti.

The aarti thing is another noisy affair at home.With the selective prayers singing led by my father,who considers himself just after K.L. sehgal.My mother who sits just next to him during that and closed her eyes thinking of my father(husband comes before God in india) and killed me after yelling this-tu aayega ya nai,ya smoke kar raha hai,when my father is around me.Chill.

Anyways, need to take my lunch its already 3pm.and i hope by next diwali you would b reading me somewhere else.

.

There is a difference between a great writer and a popular writer.

And for the first time in a long time,yesterday night, while watching Dravid’s patience and flamboyance of Afridi for a second,i got enchanted, stood up on my bed,switched on the lights, made a lipton green label tea(piya hai kya?),enjoyed its last flavour with same enthusiasm what Afridi had shown after getting a sloppy Dhoni.So my point of writing the all above lines, is, i m feeling energetic, would b surely useful for all India associations of I-m-ready-to smash-you type folks to save the last remaining harmones of those species. Sniff…!

And you wouldnt trust, trust me i know, in this gap among trillion celestial qualities which i have,by the grace of God, i have added another feather in my cap(though where is cap?). I m b coming a great Cook.You know the most easiest and mindless thing to do is to cook.I have been cooking more than all the Servants of this country has ever cooked(wanna hire?).So ladies,relax,stop chopping nails and appreciate my this new quality with open arms.

and other things are goin well.of course busy but can easily manage a few seconds to type something here.So chill,and bhai log aur whoever, i dnt know,one of you left a comment here more dirtier than my socks? why man? With age some people lose their senses too i know but its too early man? dnt you mull so?whatever,chill,and for the first time in a long time again,now what? Sniff…i m getting fatter and fatter and before my waist would b come an issue for the Vandna Luthra club, my landlord’s youngest daughter(too pretty she is), i m mulling of jogging or something which could keep me in the race of b coming Mr.Ramgarh.

So, all the bill gates, vikram bhatts, and farhan akhtars and especially those upstarts who think(whatever you are telling, needs reality check time) reading this would understand one day one thing,how smart i m.Sniff…man, m sniffing too much, now will run to a chemist shop.

and i hear,there is a new realty show on TV about- “how rakhi would manage her kid in future” something like that,there will b a number of kids(what? are they orphan?)i mean, by all tv shows and kind of words she has been saying in public since she came around,i assume, if she would b come a good mother then i could deliver a baby.

anyways aajj mast chhutti hai,so m enjoying my sunday, b coz every day is nt sunday,so after this post what? Sniff…hey chemist shop man,first then i will think what to do now…

~~ There is a big swanky shopping mall known as Vasant Square next to my place where i live.I mean,as soon as i step out from my flat,light a fag and before i start punting the butt i m at the shopping mall,i mean very near to my place.Auto bhi nahi lena yaar! Mood off hai mall chalo! Boss se daant khayi, mall chalo! Internet connection gayab ho gaya mall chalo! And i have to watch Love Aaj Kal,being in Delhi how can i miss this movie,a place where 14 years old gal talks about her boyfriend more than her school grades.That would b like a doctor in an operation theatre without gloves seriously man.

~~After four turbulent years in Delhi,i m feeling like a settled man with the urge of mein-settle-nahi-hona-chahta layers on his head.And with my new job i have gotten a nokia business phone.While i m yet to explore its multiple features,but it has everything except a Juice maker.But the most sporty feature is that the phone says the name of the caller,man thats interesting,yesterday when my friend who is commonly known as Don called me, i was like huh? Dawood called me chill me gaon walon~~~

~~I m staying here alone from a long time,no this is nt a news,i know,the news is i m goin to settle myself,you know this thing demands a lot of beauty parlour bills,kids math work,and all.The way things are running so fast i m sure my bachelor life would b ending very soon,what i dnt want.Kitna Manhoos mein! haha.

~~I know this is kind of girly.But i got a chance to watch “Splitsvilla” on Mtv.Man, who runs this shows? And what kinda gals would seriously love to do such shows, i m shocked,lost my faith in the dignity and class of these gals.Not new, i lost that long time back.I never thought gals could b so blunt uttering hindi gaalis with a fake smile,i never thought,my believe in the strenght and character of the woman of today could slip lower than my 4th semester mark sheet.Seriously.Its like all are ready made bitches.

~~ I m hitting songs these days,i mean i m harking till 2am.after a long gap,why these days i m doing things what i used to do during my heydays? Kuch to baat hai pakka!And i hope, my landlord’s family has an appreciation for music till wee hours especially his dog,who barks even at the slightest move,recently i dropped an empty packet of Kurkure,and he started bhoonking on me ceaselessly until landlady came and cooled the matter by telling him about me that once upon a time he was also like you,especially whenever a gal refused him in the past.

~~ And i know,i have bored all of you by writing a post like this,so m planning to add a sizzling video my choice.Have you heard of Sona Mahaptra? Her heart breaking song “bolo na kya hua”? its a kind of song which can take you to the himalays rite now with your first crush anytime,that much power it holds really folks.Very catchy,impeccable lyrics just a brilliant song.

~~~ And its my humblest of the humble request please write your name whenever you wish to hit my inner soul by writing comments here.and take it easy.

Haan ji i have shamelessly stolen the song lyrics of the movie veer-zara for the title of this post.I was mulling for the last 10mins to insert some meaningful title but as all of you know i rarely put a title justifying my post because i often veer off from one context to another without mentioning.So chill,i can write a lot of things what has been flooding in the last one month including my job my writing things and my personal life.

But i donot want to bore myself really writing again and again the same stuff.And even now i m nt sure what i m goin to write.You know,when you b come sure of something that surity b comes your tool of boredom really.why to b sure of anything when life itself is nt warranted doesnt it make any sense? no tell me buddies really.

Just a few minutes ago my landlord personally informed me that there would b no water supply till 2am and rite now its 10;45,thank god i have already taken my night bath.And while telling me about that he mentioned me that b coz of big worms and some grubbiness inside the water tank,he had to clean the water tank,thank god he thought of immaculating the tank.

And very soon things would b different for me.i dnt mean i would b goin to office at 2am and would b slogging the door at 12 pm, i mean i would b living with my parents for a long time after a gap of almost 12 years.After leaving my home this is the first time so as soon as they discover my strange habits of sleeping bathing reading and all i guess i would try to settle all these for our benefits.

And these days i have been orkutting and i have found the someone i was searching for the last 4 years.you know, in the last 4 years i have made 4 accounts, deleted 3, wait,i dnt mean, i was afraid or i was nt comfortable there, to me such networking sites have the same importance what a saree would b for Rakhi Sawant really man,as far as my contacts are concerned i m very much limited,without being there im in touch with all my close buddies and girl friends,but yes there was someone,whom i was searching when ever i made my account, i was like-”kahi to hogi..usko pata to hoga about orkut…aur agar join karegi to sure she will search me” but all the time i got utterly dissapointed but recently when i lost all hopes of this world,the angel of my heydays arrived without me searching her,this is the beauty you know set the bird free.I know,this is nt a fair thing to write at this stage of life but chill man,nor its a crime also to let the feelings spread over this blog,after all i m an immature guy.

Aur abhi abhi mein ne jukebox pe started the song baazigar o baazigar,you see the still, me and she prancing around the trees.I m in the black half pant and she wore a skirt and a top which slides through her smooth shoulder and a hat which can fall off at every seconds.She giggles hitting my cheeks by her nails,oye kahi scratch ho gaya to? And i pull her shabby pony tail and an excitement to lay my head on her….? bhai kuch to sharam karo iss blog ko achhe achhe ghar ki bahu betiyan bhi read karti hain…and for the sake of “samazik maryada” i m truly handicapped to unravel this scene further.

Smoking is an injurious thing we all know since we arrived here but a nut like me has no care for such warnings,despite having some recent problems i m still doing it and if i really wish to have a family and gool matool kids i guess then i need to slow down the pace of smoking.what i m trying these days..

If by accident you got a chance to read my last post,then most of you have smelled that i tried to wash my hands in the writing field.But being a tremendously horrrible writer of course it was nt easy for me to get some good clients,but in the end i got some really good projects and i m washing my both hands with them.Though it demands a lot of time which i dnt have being lazy you know,but still the experience of doing something new and the thing you always wanted i guess truly gave me a lot of peace and satisfaction.

Ruko yaar,coke to peelon,yes, so after drinking the coke,i m back.And rite now i m seeing the simplicity of late night moon through the window,and i wish to fling myself around there in the blue of sky where me and Sohniye would sit and could sip a steamming cup of coffee.But oye,Sohniye to abhi so rahi hogi?? I mean, its really awesome to see this divine beauty of late night moon.When the stark clean sky fills the empty brazen earth by that soft white rays through moon which makes you so crazy that you b come ready to miss drinking coke:):)

Mujhe abhi aur likh ne ka mann kar raha hai.and the packet of lays lying on the bed looking at me like a cat wanting to snatch a bottle of milk from a kid.and i dnt wish to b that kid.so i have started crunching lays.

i m watching a movie very old one, name is “romance” remember poonam dhillon and kumar gaurav flick?.tum log sooo jaooo abb mein chala to watch that movie.

and i will come back to write another post here soon.

Keep reading me…..

Please do it! I got stuck,that moment,my inner voice shaken my mind,you know i got shuddering,like the whole world attacked on Bhutan including Taliban and i was like-Chill,this is just a statement, why i m so concerned about such plain phrase like “please do it”.But then this is the beauty of being alone when you talk with your own self.And i do this often.Listening myself.

Some time back i was reading a Bestseller,though during the last 4-5 years i have nt been frequent with books.Though i love reading a lot anything…from an autobiography to a classic Mario Puzo to anything.I just enjoy.I m nt kind of who would read and then would love to make plans to follow those heavy words,ferocious assumptions, for me those stuff makes me what i donot want to b,so i just read it.Henceforth,while reading that, i guess after ending the two chapters in a row, i stretched my left arm for a bislery bottle to bottle my mind what was sounding quite heavy due to the kind of stuff the author had stuffed in those first two chapters.I guess some of you have been through such rocky mental state,when you study something, and you dont undertsand, you know how heavy you feel,and who knows better than me.i tell you no one knows.Those digital electronics! Poor IQ sucks man.

But now the crux of the climax, as i have mentioned above,i dnt get affected by what i read in the books.So nothing shattered me in the first two chapters, except that simple phrase-”please do it”.Then trust me,i wanted to smash a coconut on Author’s head, i wished, he would b alive in front me that moment for leaving me in such a puzzled situation.But then some wishes remain a wish only.You never fulfil it, like i missed proposing my 9th standard lady class teacher.

The author reached to “please do it” after inserting enough examples about great folks,how someone without being much qualified wrote an all time great bestseller(charles dickens) how kinght brothers started their mission from no where and many such examples you know what give you peace of mind.Doing the stuff you enjoy and then making enough money to lead a happy of course married life forever.

So what that statement said-Dont look left right,dont get fused from advices.Now point to b noted-i read that book 4 years back.may b that quote has some rocking, brilliant meanings may b it said something what i dint fathom,i know,may b i wont b able to fathom ever,may b my maid Anju Ji(maid ko bhi respect karo) would b able to tell me 100 more hidden sincere things about “please do it” what i seriously dislike to know.But what i understood and thought best for me is to crunch the small small bacterias running inside my mind,unfortunately only i m responsible for allowing them to flourish and to stop me whenver i wish to do something offbeat,so by crunching those worms of my mind, in the last 3-4 years….God it took so long…slow guy! I have learnt to follow what my “heart” says not mind.Thanks to this realisation.

My heart says-Anupam you wanna sit around split AC no office no Boss no deadlines, no pressure.You wanna b happy earning a little but with peace of mind.You wanna b happy “writing” articles books and making paltry income….right Anupam? And i say to my heart yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..i want.Then heart says- but dude you have everything just pep up your zest,throw the shackles of laziness, follow what i say,burn the years old wooden sticks of confusion,and just follow what i say.And heart knows what i want.

Enough serious man! Shit. Light is gone….but my heart says write more post is incomplete buddy….hey heart…dnt b so smart bring light please ya i want to write.Following you heart…dnt worry…!

PS: have a great 40th marriage anniversary to both of you.papa n mummy!

On the juke box:abb kya sikayat karen hum,kis ko kahe bewafa…..saanso ka kya hai pata:)

Writing something deliberate with grave effort is not in my character.I tried my utter best to doodle something here,serious,thought provoking,mind-boggling,you know things which can b copied and pasted from internet giant google search engine.But for a guy like me even searching those serious topic would b as boring as hearing Priety zinta’s theory on the basics of Cricket.Now you can fathom what a pathetic searcher i m,isnt it? People tell me things like- some creativity man,your blog looks directionless,astray,off the track, and as i was striving lighting my gold flake,i kept the phone on the table,lighted my fag,all these took me around some seconds,and the female friend busy barking about all.Only after telling her about that i wasnt hearing her,she came to know about my other sober trait of not listening calls properly.Stupidity has no limits.

And now i m back to keep up the promise intact by writing here may nt b serious,may nt b something which can make some of you after reading-” this guy is really serious enough to make nana patekar a humorous king”.Or can raise up the eyebrows of the readers like a growling kitten after watching a bunch of rabbies.Even i donot wish that my readers would get in such a serious state after reading this.So,chill the way i m writing,the way i have been trying to interpolate my life here,may b in a directionless way.O Anupam the scalar.

The effect of watching numerous sparkling cricket matches, made me so confused that i even could nt understand whether i m seeing a cricket match or just gazing on something colourful, grossly showy, leaving me more puzzled than once i was in front of a ticket collector in the mithila express while no money in my pocket nothing except a packet of Bidi.Poor from a long time.God,why do you throw me in those not so pleasing circumstances? Or is it just me putting myself there? Whatever,i mean, despite being an ardent cricket watcher, i m not relishing these IPL matches.The beauty of cricket is gone only the added glamour is alive now,that too when you hit sixes fours,scalp a wicket, the TV camera zooms on raunchy figures,gals throwing smiles at the rate faster than lee’s yorker,zinta mourns,shouts,hugs,more frequently than she ever did in her entire film career.Money man money.Let me now close the door of whining about all these.

On the another side of my life,i have been drinking coke more than a glass of water.Its like,breakfast,ok have a coke! Lunch,lets drink another! Oh, you know Alvika,these days the delhi water supply people have been so dirty,with the big tank of water they supply cockroaches too,and last year summer i consumed two such worms, and bcoz of that,you know,i have been behaving a bit erratic even on my blog,and in real life too,but now i wish to stop taking those worms by replacing it with Coke.Alvika-oh really Anupam,never knew,even i was thinking how on earth a guy like you could behave like a 50 years old unemployed man with two wives running around with their hands occupied with knives as sharp as tipu sultan’s sword and a group of kids half naked scraping his matured hair fully white with the urge of you-are-a-shit-papa! God. You know now what i mean.And b coz this during high summer season when a normal people would love to drink cold water.I m busy looking for pills to calm down my throat.

And about my life,you know something happened,and i m thanking all of you for showing so much concern and wishes.i dont know when i will do the favour by inviting all of you.but i promise you that i will remember all of you.you people have really a big heart man,not the kind of-hum to wo praaani hain ki bheekhari ke katore se bhi paise nikal sakte hain,comment kya karenge, type.and my blog will remain same,with same stupidity,brashness,and my confused humor.And i m planning a few new things for that may b i need to fly over some other city.of course not sure.depends on the circumstances and a bit of luck too.see,what happens.

Going home is also a task now.its been sometime and despite all the stuff around me looks perfectly shiny,i guess something is missing from the list.that is parents,home,ghar ka tv,the greenish balcony,rubber plants with heights 3 times of mine, drawing room where everything appears as placed properly as a model ready to give a snapshot but with no smile on her face.got it? so in the days to come i would try to snatch some time for that too.

anyway enough bukbuk from me,i m goin to wrap up this post.more willl come after getting married:) trust me when i say i m getting married. one of you now may start dreaming all you know what.but for the sake of frienship….meri english kaaafi weak hai…anyways…i would like to declare that i m not an astrologer man.so let the buzz stop here.i m again feeling thirsty lets check where is coke.

Long time back perhaps in the late eighties a kid with the texture of an ellipse ran across the 22 yards to complete his maiden half century.After,losing his front teeth just on the same ball.The hard cricket ball nudges the handle of the bat,directly hits the lips,blood started running down throw the neck,chin.Friends came around him, frightened,afraid(agar bunty ki mummy ko pata chal gaya to sab ki watt lag jayegi..), shocked,in the middle of these horrible pictures, that guy completes his run,reached non-striker end,looks on the ball, ball is already out side the boundary line(chhota boundary thaa yaar).And he yells- we won yaar…i made my first 50…blood gaya doctor ke pass!! Come on,i m nt saying you folks now should put down your specs,girls must hand over their sari clad pics what they keep for marriage purposes to me,and some married ones fumbles casually:”bade aaye ho”.For all of you,while hitting the post in the starting i was clueless,empty headed and most importantly i m very close now to take some life time decision and as all of you know my trademark is being confused, then this incident spinned inside my mind and i wrote the above.

There are incidents in life happen with you,when you least expect it,there are incidents leave you flummoxed like a monkey watching Femina miss India beauty awards.There are incidents which are quite expected as you grow up.You kind of b come a serious guy suddenly,you mug terribly boring inorganic chemistry notes to pass the chemistry paper in +2.You kind of sharp who can if at his normal best then can shorten the 9 steps of any integration just within 4.You are the type who can flip through any dictionary ceaselessly for 6-7 hours.You give a damn to anyone,you belong to the group of guys who have mostly socked the word success after struggle.You are the master of your own world.Chill yaar.

Over the years,trust me there are innumerable incidents like the above happened with me and if by mistake or by some fluke if i would b able to script a book surely i will try to seize all those unforgettable sweet,sour,some shockingly funny moments.

And yes as i have written somewhere in the above paragraph,i m goin to take some serious step regarding personal life.I know i m a kind of-abhi? 1 year aur yaar..But its already late….and i need to keep up the promise i made to someone long time back.I know i m a promise breaker,insensitive,without heart,very cheap Anu is etc etc.And for some-down to earth,humble,lazy,polite…too much..and all these points dont make much sense i know,b coz some people like you even when the world around you finds totally unfit.Some people talk to you just to keep alive the relationship.Some people think,i m nt a good guy at all to get maithil brahmin girl.Some people think i dnt have the courage to b what i say i want to b.somepeople who think i m nt a practical enough,some people think i would forget all these after writing the post.Some people who think i dnt know what i want to b.For all chill man…i have found my friend.

i dnt expect all of you should understand what i write and why i write really.Thanks to you my friend.Thanks to parents.

I m a lucky guy since childhood.Luck has been my forte and i guess it will b in future too.I know this post is a real hotch potch.typical me.May b i wont b able to achieve things like others,may b my dreams are completely haywire for the world,but i m happy.may b i wont b able to ride on benze but i m happy man!

Thanks to my friend. A freind(spelling mistake yaar) who gives me courage and power to fight out with the world nt by her external charm,and nt by her postgraduate degree nt by her love,but by being who she is.

a friend who deserves respect more than love.i know people are reading this.since its been 2 years almost i have been writing this blog of course she being the central reason that i started writing my blog again after deleting 2 previous blogs.she deserves a party from me very soon! hope she wont bite me:)

buss aise hi socha kuch likh daalo:)

plz dnt take seriously i m about to take my cab written this post very speedily so pardon me for all the mistakes i have made above!

It had been goin on for years
The arguments and the abuse
I just tried to live up with it
B coz you had always an excuse

You never smacked me through your words
Actually you didnt need to do that
The words that came out from your mouth
Was worse than any abuse

I always thought you would b better one day
That your maturity level would never sink
Its indeed funny how a few choice words
Did more than make me laugh

It took me a long long time
I guess i was in denial since from the dawn
I could never do or say anything
As i was always on trial

But now finally finally i had enough
I couldnt take anymore
I had to get out
My self esteem needed restored

I feel better now really
Even though my head is screwed up
But eventually may b
I will learn to say…NEVER AGAIN…